Being home gave him such a complex and bittersweet sense of nostalgia. The smell of his room in the barracks was as sterile as the glaringly white walls that surrounded the veteran pilot and paladin. The fingers of his left hand pressed to the glass of the window as he took in the view it offered.
The remnants of the battle that had waged until just a week ago, rubble and half-standing buildings. In his mind's eye, he could see the lay of the land that once was: a pristine military development and a sprawling town off in the distance.
But the silver-haired captain knew humanity's resilience would prevail. If he could prevail over a multitude of his own personal battles to achieve what he had so far, then their planet would also thrive once again.
Upon a routine check up the day before, a befuddled doctor had re-examined his blood tests three times before giving him the shocking news.
"You're no longer suffering from your neuromuscular condition. All traces of the disease are gone...Somehow your body has healed itself."
Telling the doctor afterwards of his cloned body had been quite the awkward conversation.
A small smile eased onto his lips as he recalled the immense relief he had felt, knowing his body's clock was no longer ticking away so quickly. But it didn't last long, as his mind turned down a painful path.
After their argument over the Kerberos mission, Adam had barely spoken to Shiro for those last few days leading to his departure. The silence had been deafening. The last time he had seen his long-time partner, there was hurt and anger in those amber eyes, hidden to everyone else under the guise of rigid military decorum. It was a twist to the knife. First, the only romantic partner he'd ever had, after years together, had given him an ultimatum. Adam refused to support him any longer. And then glared daggers at him as he was about to board the ship for take-off.
Shiro could feel the bile rising in his throat as he recalled the pang of heartache he felt when the one man he'd placed his faith and trust in, his heart having long-rested in Adam's hands, throwing it all back in his face.
"Don't expect me to be here when you get back."
Little did they realize just how true those grave words would ring.
The guilt of surviving, the guilt of never having properly said goodbye, settled in Shiro's chest. Even though he knew he would never have resumed what they had back then, Adam had not deserved such an awful fate. He had wanted to reconcile civility after all they had shared.
But Fate had denied him that opportunity.
Shiro suddenly realized he needed to regain control of his thoughts. A slow deep inhale and exhale as he reminded himself to focus on what he did have.
Finally, despite the lingering ache of sadness, Shiro's heart began to settle. He pondered the second chance he had been given. He was alive. His life was full of people he called friends. His fellow paladins, the princess and Coran... His heart was full of love, and he had a 'family' of sorts in which he could place his trust. Despite his sense of loss, he did not feel lost.
With his fellow paladins, within these years they have spent together, the newly-appointed captain had found himself.
And now, given his newly detracted death sentence, knowing that the cloned body was not ill like his original self had been, he pondered the idea of future-beyond the short term.
He knew that the fight wasn't over yet. Haggar still lurked out there, scheming and obviously doing horrible things to Allura's surviving people. There were still sectors of the known universe that needed aid from the coalition, from Voltron and now, Atlas.
But later on, if they were to survive this war and establish peace and freedom for all planets...
Would he stay on Earth, now that he was a Captain and Commander in the Garrison? Would he and his crew continue to patrol the reaches of space with the Atlas? Would he retire?
He began to picture his daily life without his new family: Allura, Pidge, Hunk, Lance...Keith.
Shiro heart felt as if it dropped to his stomach. He wouldn't even be here if it hadn't been for Keith. Just the thought of living life that didn't keep them in touch in some capacity or another. He knew that years ago, he had meant a lot to the now-black paladin. Shiro had a full plate back then, between his full time job and relationship, yet he made sure that a younger, aimless Keith knew he had what it takes to succeed.
Keith managed give that faith and confidence back to him a hundredfold, reaching for him even in death, and finding his very soul. Somewhere along the way, after spending years supporting him, the younger man had now taken hold and lifted him up...to an extent which no other had done before.
None except Keith.
Ever since Keith had returned with Krolia, something had begun to shift between them.
Keith had grown so much as a person.
It's all so surreal, remembering these fragments from this body's own memory. They feel like bits of a dream. But I know they were real.
Keith's face, on the comm screen, hailing from the Altean pod, had aged from teenager to young man somehow. His aura, the energy he gave off had a new tint of wisdom, and emotionally balanced. It had made Shiro falter, catching his breath at the odd shiver that rippled up his spine.
Now, as moments passed through his mind, Keith's love, respect and dedication becoming more apparent with every passing minute, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and he shivered. Keith's pained face suddenly appeared in his mind's eye, crying out to him.
"I love you!"
Much of what transpired as Haggar fought for control had been a haze, but those words had rung out clear as a bell before Keith had cut off his arm and everything had gone dark. But even as he awoke from his trauma, Keith had been there. Holding him up. Holding him close.
An overwhelming, dizzying sensation washed over the former paladin, forcing him to slump down to the edge of his bed. His hand covering his mouth as the breath caught in his throat. His pulse quickening as the truth seemed to burst from his heart and forced its way past his lips, the revelation barely a whisper.
"I love you, too, Keith."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
The clamor of over a hundred people carrying on in animated conversation reverberated throughout the Garrison commissary. The sounds of silverware scraping across plates as people eagerly dug in alongside their comrades added abrasively to the cacophony.
It was not exactly Keith's ideal surroundings, but with Pidge and Hunk keeping him company, lunch would be far more tolerable. After grabbing their meals and finding a table, the trio sat down wearily.
"It's only lunch and already, today feels like the longest day ever," Hunk groaned before biting into his burrito.
"Yeah, this whole new dilemma with the Altean in the Robeast is pretty much all research and tech hands on deck," Pidge sighed. "And for good reason, I wouldn't be surprised if Haggar was behind it."
"I think you're right Pidge," Keith added. "With Lotor off in the Rift, there's only ONE person left who had any idea about the colony...but man, trying to decipher all the science behind it-you've got your hands full."
Keith's wrist comm chirped. His lips twitched upward at the sight of the sender's name.
Shiro: Hey, can you come by my quarters when you have a moment? There's something I wanted to discuss.
"Shiro must be out of his meeting," Keith thought aloud, his tone audibly less agitated. "He wants to meet up with me." A swift reply was sent.
"Keep us in the know if there's any info," Pidge replied.
"Hey, speaking of Shiro," Hunk interjected, "How's he holding up? Someone mentioned that his ex died in the first wave against Sendak. That's gotta hurt quite a bit."
"Yeah, he hasn't said too much about it, but yeah...I'd heard Adam died," Keith confirmed. "He may have broken up with Shiro over Kerberos, but he wasn't a bad guy."
It was odd, over the last couple of days, he realized that when thinking about Adam and Shiro's relationship, what they had and lost, he felt this twinge of something that made him uneasy.
He had mentally admonished himself for resenting Adam for breaking up with the man.
What was so hard about supporting him, and waiting for him? Isn't that what love is supposed to be? Unconditional? Being able to trust one another enough to let them go off on their own?
He had shaken himself of thinking harshly of a man he hadn't known very well. And if Shiro had loved Adam for all those years, then he had to have loved him in return. He tried to wrap his mind around what Shiro was thinking and feeling, trying to be empathetic.
But everytime he did that, something flared inside him. Something indignant and protective. Something that made him want to comfort Shiro, to embrace him...
Keith suddenly caught himself before following that train of thought once again. His face felt a bit warm and his brows furrowed slightly.
"Hey, man, are you okay?" Hunk asked, breaking him from his thoughts. "You're looking a little grim."
"I'll be alright, thanks," he repiled simply. "I've just gotta get out of my head."
He pushed up from the table and collected the remnants of his meal.
"Pidge, could you get in touch with Lance and Veronica and find out how their research mission went? They should be back soon."
"Absolutely," she replied. "Let's plan to meet up later,'kay?"
Keith nodded to both of them before leaving and heading over officers' quarters, where the upper echelon of the Galaxy Garrison, as well as their honored guests from Altea and the Voltron team were now residing.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Shiro had laid down with a sigh after sending Keith the message. He was still trying to process the chain of events, the evolution of his friendship with Keith, and this deep-seated connection they shared. Keith had fought so hard on his behalf, saving his life on more than a few occasions.
His wrist comm unit chimed, stopping his thoughts in their tracks. Shiro held his breath as he read the message:
Keith: Sure thing. Be right up. Commissary's too freaking noisy rn.
Shiro chuckled at that. He could practically hear the groan in Keith's voice.
His mirth settled but his nerves didn't.
What if he doesn't feel the same? Is Keith even into men? What if this is all just in my head?
Shiro used his meditation techniques to settle his mind. He had nearly drifted off into a nap when there was a soft knock at his door.
"Come in," he beckoned, not bothering to get up because he knew precisely who it was.
Keith stepped through the door, his eyes trained on him, accessing him.
"You alright, Shiro?" the younger man asked.
"Yes...and no," he admitted as he pushed back a little, subtly implying for Keith to sit with him. "Just resting a bit, it's been a long morning."
"You can say that again," Keith sighed. Raking a hand through his dark hair, the newest black paladin sat on the edge of the bed without hesitation, peering down curiously at Shiro's reserved expression.
"So what's up? You wanted to talk to me about the meeting I assume?"
Keith could visibly see Shiro tense a little.
"No..." he replied, peering up at him from behind the tuft of silver hair. "this is all a little more, um...personal," he confessed.
"About Adam, then?"
Shiro exhaled roughly. "In part. I need to piece together all the thoughts in my head. I need your help."
Keith rested his hand on his friend's leg, subconsciously wanting to connect with him like he would his lion. He would shoulder emotional burdens for the man. Whatever he needed.
"Anything for you, Shiro," his words far more tender than he consciously intended and a flash of panic ripped through him.
Until he looked Shiro in the eyes, and something...sparkled.
Shiro cleared his throat after a long moment.
"I know I haven't really talked about anything all that personal-like we used to, since we've been with Voltron. But after everything that has happened in the last week-hell, in the last couple years, I was seriously overwhelmed. I've been sorting through everything in my head. Putting together a lot of fragments..."
Shiro sat up slowly, cross-legged and facing Keith. He drew a breath and held it, taking a long pause as he prepared to dive into these matters of the heart.
"Adam was the one I thought I'd grow old with," he began, a frown marring his handsome features. "But he hurt me...deeply. He made our love conditional. Rather than having faith in me, he tried to take away what little time I had left to be an explorer. I had invested so much in him, and..."
An alloy hand raked through his tresses as he drew a shaky breath and swallowed hard as he came to terms with the pain he was never given time to reconcile.
"He just walked away, telling me he couldn't wait for me. He didn't even say goodbye. I'll never forget how angry he looked that day. He just...gave up on me. I was mad, and that bridge was burned. And now, there's nothing left in the way of closure. He's...gone."
Keith couldn't bear to see the most steadfast man on earth shed tears. He reached over and took Shiro's left hand with his right. It was warm and calloused, but gentle. The intimate gesture lingered as Shiro regained his calm.
Keith's began to feel tingly. Goosebumps dotted his flesh. Sucking in a breath, words were poised on the tip of his tongue.
And then Shiro squeezed his hand back halting any coherent thought, both men staring down at their joined hands as Shiro continued to his point.
"But Keith, everytime I think about it, I realize that I could never have returned to what he and I had before Kerberos. He left me. He made the choice for himself to no longer be supportive out of his own self-preservation. I couldn't have continued to be with someone who refused to have my back."
In that moment, Shiro looked up and met Keith's gaze. Every implication was there. Suddenly clear as day.
Keith's response came tumbling from his lips. "I'll always have your back, Shiro."
Shiro couldn't help the content smile as the truth of his words warmed his heart and chased away his doubts. He watched as Keith swallowed hard, knowing that there was much more meaning to that declaration bubbling under the surface of his words.
Warm, roughened fingers caressed the indelible scar on Keith's cheek before Shiro leaned closer, pressing his forehead to Keith's.
"I know," he murmured. "And it's one of a thousand reasons why..." He held his tongue in a moment of quiet hesitation as his fear of rejection made one last rally. But Shiro wasn't about to let it stand.
Keith's heart was racing. He felt all the energy between them about to burst to life. It was so intense, and breathtaking. He loved this man so much it hurt, and for the first time Keith truly felt like it was reciprocated. He waited patiently for this beautiful man to finish his thought.
"Why...I love you, too, Keith."
The tears came as he gasped. Inundated by cathartic waves of joy, love, and relief, he curled forward and cried into Shiro's neck.
"Shiro you're everything to me," he choked out as he held the man tightly. "I don't know what I'd ever do without you."
Shiro cradled the back of Keith's head with his new right hand, turning and pressing his face into his love's thick dark tresses. He let his own tears fall as he reveled in the joy of being loved by such an amazing man. For a long moment, they remained in their warm embrace.
"Keith...you...are my fixed star. I will always find my way when I'm with you. You are the constant I had always been searching for...And you've been there this whole time."
Keith sniffled lightly, wiping his eyes as he pulled away slightly to return face-to-face with Shiro.
Leaning in, Keith took Shiro by surprise as he pressed his lips to his own. Light and tentative at first, Shiro leaned closer to reciprocate. There soft pop as Keith withdrew, but the flame had been lit and Shiro chased the kiss with one of his own.
And just as they instigated each other while flying through the desert or dancing through the the galaxies in their lions, Keith began to match Shiro's pace. An inquisitive tongue caressed the paladin's lips, and in the heat of the moment, Keith would not be outdone. He reciprocated and followed his lover's lead.
His first kiss was with the one person who mattered more than anything else in his life. It was so easy to succumb to the taste of Shiro's mouth. Something about his essence, his taste, drew him in and enticed him to deepen the kiss. As tongues tangled in a slow, intimate dance, Keith drew a soft groan from Shiro's throat.
Shiro felt flushed as a light gleam of sweat formed on the nape of his neck. He took Keith's bottom lip between his teeth and tugged lightly.
"Haaaahhh..." Keith moaned as he exhaled.
Shiro watched as Keith opened his eyes to look at him, and a new, exciting spark flickered in his gaze. Never in his life had he seen lust in those eyes.
Keith took Shiro's face in both hands and dove back in to satisfy his new craving. Shiro was sizzling, his whole body alight with this new feeling.
"I love you," Keith murmured between kisses. As he laid Shiro back on the bed and followed him down.
They had found each other, at long last, the way they were meant to be.
Through time and space, life and death, from the farthest reaches of the universe, to right there at home on Earth. These two destined souls would work toward peace, for a universe they could exist in together, hand in hand, side by side, for years to come.
