"I wish we had more time together." Caspian whispered into my ear as we embraced in our goodbyes. I pulled my head off of his shoulder and pulled away from him before speaking again.

"It never would have worked between us." I logically spoke, my heart screaming at me to ignore logic for once in my life. "I am thirteen hundred years older than you." I attempt to joke, as I begin to move away from Caspian and towards my brothers and sister. Before I reach them, I turn to look at him one last time. If only we had more time... I thought, before I gave up on logic and followed my heart. I ran to him, his arms automatically reaching out for me as I captured his lips in our first and only kiss. It was simple yet passionate, sweet yet deep, chaste yet exploring.

It was all this, wrapped into one perfect first kiss and I knew. I knew that once I left his arms my heart would never be whole again. My heart would never be whole again because I was leaving him, never to return again, and with him, I was leaving my heart.

"I love you." I whisperdly choked as I pulled away from him and joined my siblings. The four of us took one last look around, my eyes catching Caspian's as I saw the love and deep longing filling his eyes. Our gazes conveyed our very souls to each other and I knew I'd never again love. I love you I saw in his eyes, and I had to turn with my siblings before I broke down and sobbed. Together, we stepped through the portal, and once again we were at the train station, the train only just having arrived.

"Aren't you coming Phillis?" I heard someone ask, and it took me a moment to remember the lie I'd told to the annoying boy over a month ago. My siblings and I grabbed our things and boarded quickly. I found four seats together, and placed my things under the one I'd claimed as my own. I gazed stoically out the window, thinking of Caspian and what he was doing right now. How much time had passed in Narnia in these few minutes? I was pulled from my musings as Edmund pushed my arm, signifying that we'd arrived.

I spoke not a word as we left the underground and called a taxi. I spoke our destination, and then went back into my thoughts. It wasn't until later that I'd allow myself to cry. Not until I'm alone in my bed at school. The moment we arrived at school, the four of us separated to find our dorms. The moment I found mine, I quietly placed my luggage under the bed, and lay down upon it. Finally, alone in my room, I allowed myself to cry. I wouldn't allow myself to make any noise, a technique I'd perfected years before first going to Narnia. For what seemed like hours but was truly only minutes, I cried. When my roommate entered the room I feigned sleep, and successfully kept her unaware to my sobbing and heartache. Hours later, I finally stopped crying, but only because I no longer was conscious.