This takes place after Death in Heaven and is sort of my own version of the Christmas Special. It also contains the Children in Need preview clip. The amazing artwork I'm using as a cover for this fic is not mine (I can draw pretty impressive looking stick-men though) it was made by the amazingly talented cardinalcapaldi on Tumblr.


There was snow falling onto the ground in uneven patches and it wouldn't be long before everything was covered in a white blanket of it. Along with bringing out all their Christmas stock, the malls and stores were playing Christmas music all around the clock. And there was an air of joy and happiness that seemed to be felt by everyone except Clara Oswald. At least that's how she felt anyway.

Clara glanced down at the list she held in her hands, marking off the names as she picked out the appropriate gifts. She just wanted to get this present shopping over with—the sooner the better. Honestly if it wasn't for the fact that she felt upheld to get gifts for the few people she cared about, she wouldn't even be Christmas shopping right now. The Christmas music the department store was playing seemed overly cheerful and shrill to her, and just served to annoy her. And everywhere she turned were stark reminders of Christmas, which would then remind her that she was spending this one alone.

Last Christmas had been hard enough with the Doctor regenerating and now with the recent loss of both Danny and the Doctor, Clara had never felt so lonely before. If she could turn back time Danny never would've died, and the Doctor never would have left. She had tried to tell him the truth: that Danny had sent a young boy he'd accidentally killed, back when he'd been a soldier, in his place. But then the Doctor had told her excitedly about how he'd found Gallifrey and she just couldn't tell him the truth. Not when he thought she and Danny would be fine, and he'd seemed so happy about finally finding his home. If she'd told him he would have probably been forced to bring her to Gallifrey with him, and it was his home not hers. Besides, she would've been nothing but dead-weight anyway.

But despite her best attempts she still thought about it. Wondered what could have been if she'd told him the truth and gone along to Gallifrey with him. She'd seen his home planet before, quite a few times in the lives of some of her echoes and she'd seen it when he'd saved it along with his past selves.

She could close her eyes and see it. See the orange shade sky, the tall mountains topped in snow, the burnt red grass, and the trees with silver leaves. And over the last few months she'd had a lot of time to think about it. If she'd given him the truth instead of going along with a lie he'd given her, and the two of them ended up on Gallifrey, everything would be different. The real question was: would it have been better than the life she was living now?

It probably would be, was the slightly bitter thought she'd had quite a few times. Anything would be better than coming home to this dark empty flat at the end of the day with loneliness that crept in and penetrated her soul. Clara had always hated being left all alone with nothing but her thoughts, and now she was. Some nights they haunted her with dreams of what could've been. Other nights, the dream was the Doctor returning for her and whisking her away from the horrible loneliness and on one of those wonderful yet dangerous adventures she now sorely missed.

Of course even if that had happened there would've been other things to consider. She couldn't have just up and left with him, even if there wasn't very much to keep her here anymore (besides her father, her gran, and her job, basically everything that's keeping her sane right now). And Earth was still every bit her home, as Gallifrey was his.

One of the hardest things for Clara though, was not having a close friend to talk to and relieve some of her loneliness. She had a few girlfriends but she'd never been as close to them as she'd been with the Doctor and Danny. Talking to them about her personal feelings and problems would just feel out of place. Then there was the most obvious fact that she could never tell any of them about the Doctor and her travels with him, which was mainly the reason why she was so miserable.

The days since she'd seen him had turned into weeks, and those into months. It had been almost six months. Six months of filling her schedule by signing up for chaperoning trips and events at Coal Hill just to fill her empty hours. Six months of coming home to her cold, dark flat and pouring herself a glass of wine almost every night. And six months of stupidly hoping that maybe... just maybe he would come back.

The truth was, of course, that Clara really didn't expect him to come back. They'd said their goodbyes and that was it. And the loneliness that she felt, well, she would just have to get used to it somehow as impossible as that seemed.

When she finished shopping and had all the gifts she would need for this Christmas, Clara walked up to the register lugging her heavy gift filled bag with her. After paying for them she left the store and waited for a cab. While she waited she glanced around at the people bustling around the sidewalks and suddenly caught a glimpse of navy blue—the same shade of the TARDIS. But it was only a paneled door belonging to a small shop.

Clara sighed. She had to stop doing this: hoping that she'd just come across that blue box somewhere on the street. Because that would mean that a certain Doctor wasn't too far off. It wasn't a good thing for her to keep hoping for something that would never happen.

During the cab ride home she kept subconsciously touching the bracelet on her wrist. The memory of Danny's sacrifice still fresh in her mind, even after six months. To Clara, it seemed as though everything around her was a reminder of what she'd lost.

Finally arriving back to her flat was a relief. She sank back into the couch and tossed the shopping bags away. She'd wrap the gifts tomorrow. Night was falling and it wouldn't be long until she was drinking a glass of wine to dull her mind. Laying her head back with eyes closed, she just wished the whole Christmas season would be over. The mere thought of all the people she would be seeing the next day (which happened to be Christmas Eve) exhausted her. She didn't mind seeing her dad and gran so much, they were pretty understanding, especially her gran. But Linda, ugh. The woman almost always had to find some way to criticize her and would most likely be going on about ''Other fish in the sea, dear.'' Because she clearly did not understand that Clara was still grieving. And anyway, Clara was pretty sure she was done with the whole dating thing altogether. Then there would be the hoards of cousins, which she didn't actually mind that much because she'd always been pretty good with kids. Still, there would be so much talking and laughing and questions, and children wanting her to play with them.

Pushing all thoughts of the next day out of her mind for the moment, Clara left the comfort of the couch and went into the kitchen in a search for something alcoholic. She looked through the cabinet to find a drink for her current mood, but then decided to beg off for that night. She'd just go to bed instead. Better to be well rested and bright in front of her family than tired and slightly hungover. After changing into a long flower printed nightie she fell into bed and let sleep overcome her.


A loud thump from somewhere above woke Clara, and she sat straight up with a glance at the ceiling. It could have been anything, but just what if it was... the TARDIS? No, of course it couldn't be that was impossible, but she grabbed her dressing gown and wrapped it around herself as she got out of bed.

She took the stairs as quickly as she could, all the way up to the roof, then emerged out onto it. Glancing around the snow-covered roof she excepted to possibly see the TARDIS along with the Doctor—instead she saw Santa Clause?

''Okay, properly cracking up now,'' she muttered. She must still have been dreaming, that had to be it. Because this couldn't possibly be real.

The man who looked like Santa Clause (because of course it couldn't really be Santa Clause) laughed lightly at what she'd said. ''Well of course you're not, I'm not a figment of your imagination. And I can assure you that I am the real Father Christmas.''

''Stop. Seriously,'' Clara said walking toward him as she tried to process what was going on. ''you, you're Father Christmas, you're... real?''

''Of course I'm real,'' he said, laughing in a jolly way again.

''How can he not be real, huh?'' a different voice said. Turning her head slightly she only now noticed two short men dressed in colorful clothing, both had pointed ears, and it was one of them who had just spoken. Were they elves?

''How'd you think those presents got under the tree each year? By magic?'' Santa asked, spreading his hands wide in front of him as he spoke.

''Well, I thought it was my... mum—''

''Mum and dad?'' the elves smirked, chuckling as though the mere thought of that idea was hilarious.

Clara's voice ended on a hard note when she finished what she'd been saying before she was interrupted. ''—and dad.'' She was getting slightly angry now and the way they were treating her (like she was a complete idiot) was beginning to annoy her.

''Well of course it was,'' one of the elves said. ''I mean it makes perfect sense.

''Yeah,'' the other one said. ''your mum and dad, one day a year for no particular reason just out of the blue, suddenly decide to give you a great big pile of presents.

''No, no, no, because they love you so much.'' They laughed again, a sound which was really starting to grate on her nerves. ''It's a lovely story, dear.''

''Yeah, but it's time to start living in the real world.''

''Okay, right,'' Santa said, beginning to page through a small book. ''Clara Oswald, mostly favors travel books, science kits—strict ban on hair products. Marginal for the naughty list, '93. Believer until the age of nine. Why did you stop?''

''Cause you're a fairy-tale. I grew out of fairy-tales.'' Not once as she said that did she realize just how untrue that statement was. She'd meet fairy-tales. She'd lived them. Robin Hood had just been a wonderful fictional character in a book to her, until the day she'd meet him. In fact the Doctor himself had been almost like a fairytale. Her life was a fairy-tale, at least it had been.

Santa sighed. ''Did you Clara? Did you really?''

And then there was the sound—the most wonderful sound in the world. The wheezy groaning sound she never thought she'd ever hear again. Turning, she stared wide-eyed as the TARDIS materialized and the Doctor walked out.

''Clara, I want you to step inside the TARDIS. I don't want you to talk, I want you to do as I ask, please,'' he said.

She gripped his arm and looked up at him, she almost couldn't believe he was really here

As though he knew what she was thinking he continued on. ''Yes, I'm really here, I'm back. Now get inside the TARDIS.

Clara walked into the TARDIS still in a daze. Was this really happening? Was the Doctor really outside talking to Santa Claus? She'd touched his arm and he'd told her he was really here, shouldn't that be enough? Because he'd never said that in any of the dreams or ever been so real. But she still wasn't quite sure, so slightly pushing the sleeve of her robe up she pinched her arm lightly, hissing as she felt the small amount of pain. Yep, definitely real then, not a dream.

The doors of the TARDIS opened, letting in a gust of cold air as the Doctor came inside. In complete silence he walked right past her to the console, and started typing coordinates in and flipping switches.

With a deep breath, Clara tried to figure out just what exactly she was feeling right now. She felt both happy and sad, two conflicting emotions at once. I'm malfunctioning, she thought as she remembered what the Doctor had said once before on the Orient Express. She couldn't help smiling a little at that. I've probably got a sad smile on my face right now. Clara lowered her head quickly to hide her face. One look at her sad smile and teary eyes and he would be able to tell. He would know. But chances were if she stayed silent he would also be able to tell. She had to say something, especially since it appeared that he wasn't going to be the one to say something first.

''So what's going on? Was that really Santa Clause up there on the roof?'' she inquired, straightening her expression and turning to glance at him.

''No.'' he said quickly. ''Maybe,'' he added. ''I'm not sure,'' he finally admitted.

''Is Santa Claus a Time Lord? I mean that would explain everything. Did you meet him on Gallifrey?'' Wow, her voice seemed so steady and casual it surprised her a bit.

''No, he just barged into the TARDIS, I'm not even sure how he got in here.'' He paused for a moment before he resumed talking. ''Are you okay?''

''Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

''Well... he said you weren't.''

''And I suppose you believed him.''

''No, not completely.''

''So, Santa Clause, that's new,'' she said, trying to direct the subject away from her well-being. ''Where are we going by the way?'' She couldn't help grinning as she asked the question, she'd missed this so much.

There was a serious look on the Doctor's face as he walked toward her. He lowered his head to be at level with hers and gripped her arm tightly, in an almost protective way. ''Clara, where we're about to go may be the most dangerous place we've ever gone. There's no telling what we might find, the dangers we might encounter.''

''We're we going?'' she asked in a whisper.

''The North Pole.''


When they landed the door was swung open by Clara and she stared out at the snowy planet. ''And this is the North Pole? The real North Pole—Santa's workshop is here?''

''Maybe,'' the Doctor said as he turned away from the console and joined her at the door.

Clara tentatively took a step forward out of the TARDIS and into the snow. She squinted her eyes as she glanced around but could see nothing but the snow falling, which was obscuring her vision. The Doctor stepped out beside her and closed the TARDIS door with a quite thud. Clara watched him bend down and scoop up some of the snow into his hand. With the other he whipped out his sonic screwdriver and began scanning it.

''We're on a different planet, right?'' she asked. The Doctor gave a curt nod in reply.''So does that make this alien snow?''

''That's the question, isn't it? If this is such a different planet why does it have so many of the same properties as Earth? It's almost as if someone's tried to duplicate your home planet. But that's a very dangerous and unstable thing to do—cloning planets.''

''Okay, are we here to fix that then?''

''Yes, because whoever cloned this planet was either entirely stupid with nothing in their brain but pudding, or they knew very well the risk they were taking,'' he said. ''Which would make them extremely dangerous too.'' Brushing the snow off his hand and tucking his screwdriver back into his coat, he stood up and surveyed the area.

''Can you see anything?''

''No, nothing but snow. There's nothing around here,'' and he started walking off to see if he could find anything. Clara had to run to catch up with him: something which was very hard to do while wearing slippers and repeatedly falling in the deep snow. And the cold which she hadn't noticed so much earlier was now biting at her, making her shudder.

''You're shivering,'' a gruff Scottish voice said. It was the Doctor, and since Clara was now currently picking herself up off the cold snowy ground after tripping, she hadn't seen him turn around and walk back toward her.

Standing up and dusting the snow off her dressing gown, she gave him a disgruntled look. ''Yeah, well it's freezing out here and I don't know if you've noticed but I'm only in a nightie and a robe.'' She rubbed her arms trying to warm herself up, when she then felt a slightly heavy weight on her shoulders and suddenly began to feel much warmer. With a turn of her head she saw that he'd draped his coat over her. It was so long on her petite body that it came down below her knees.

''Thank you,'' she said quietly, but he was already walking away again, Clara wasn't sure if he had even heard her. She noticed though that he was now walking much more slowly, he must have noticed that she'd been struggling to keep up with him.

Now that she thought about it she couldn't ever remember seeing him without this coat. Well, except for a few instances: right after he'd regenerated, when he'd been under 'deep cover', when they'd been on the Orient Express, and when they were on the moon. She couldn't help thinking that it was almost as though it was his armor in a way, and he'd willingly given it to her to wear. It was a meaningless thing but it still seemed to warm her up inside and out more than the coat itself. She smiled at the thought and trudged after him.

They'd been walking for some time when they finally came across the first sign of life they'd seen so far: a large tree, it's branches empty of leaves but covered in snow. Clara leaned against the tree as the Doctor took his sonic out once again. While he scanned the tree, she looked around curiously, wondering why there would be a tree here but no other signs of life. And that's when she saw it, a sprig of a plant covered in what looked like white berries hanging from one of the branches. It was mistletoe.

Clara couldn't help jerking away from the tree, only to be stopped by an invisible barrier. Tilting her head in confusion she looked around to find what had stopped her, but there was nothing there. Carefully and hesitantly she pushed her hand at what looked like nothing but air to her, and watched as a ripple appeared under her hand. ''Oh come on,'' she urged.

''Oh dear,'' a distinct Scottish voice muttered behind her.

She whirled around to find the Doctor on the ground, scanning the barrier all around with his sonic. ''Don't 'Oh dear,''' Clara said.

''Why?'' he asked, standing back up and turning toward her while pocketing his screwdriver.

''Because, whenever you do it means something bad.''

He scoffed. ''Well it was already bad, me saying so isn't going to make it any worse.''

''But I know now so that does make it worse,'' Clara huffed. ''Okay what is it?''

''It's mistletoe.''

She huffed again. Well that was certainly obvious. ''Yeah, I can see that.''

''No, it's not ordinary mistletoe. It's well—it's got a force-field that won't let us go until we—''

''What, what do we have to do?'' she asked with a growing feeling of dread, even though she was pretty sure she already had an idea of what they would have to do to get out.

''Kiss!'' he said through clenched teeth. And he turned away from her, choosing instead to look at the snowy ground.

Unbelievable! Of all the stupid situations they'd gotten into in the past this was probably the most awkward and uncomfortable one they'd ever gotten into. And the worst part was that it wasn't like she'd never thought about kissing him before. In fact she'd thought about it more often than she would've liked to admit: wondered what it would be like, if he would be rough or gentle, or if she suddenly out of nowhere kissed him if he would resist and pull away or draw her closer. Those were thoughts she hadn't been particularly proud of, one's that had made her feel guilty because she'd had a boyfriend—and it wasn't him. Before, in one of her echos' lives she'd kissed his past self, but it had never truly been her kissing him. And he was in a completely different body now.

''Okay, um, okay,'' she stuttered. It felt as though her face was burning with the thoughts currently running inside her mind. ''So, uh, what do we do?''

The Doctor finally turned back around and looked at her with an intense expression on his face. ''That's an absolutely ridiculous question, you know exactly what we have to do!''

''Yeah but,'' she said weakly. ''isn't there something else we could try instead? Sonic it or something, that usually works.''

''This is very advanced technology, it would take the sonic years to be programmed for it and as I don't think you would prefer to stay here better get kissing, Clara Oswald! Although I suppose P.E. will probably be bothered by you kissing me, but he wouldn't want you to be trapped here either.''

Now it was her turn to glance at the ground. And suddenly, before she could even stop herself, she blurted out in a flat voice, ''Danny's dead. I don't think he'll mind very much.''

Clara gasped, she'd never intended to tell him.

''But the bracelet?" he asked, pointing at the mentioned item around her wrist.

''It was used to bring someone back. It just... wasn't him. Back when Danny was a soldier, he accidentally killed a boy and that's who he let come through.''

''I'm sorry,'' he said quietly.''

''Yeah, well, I am too. And just so you know, I was never going to tell you that.''

''So you lied?''

''Yes, I lied!'' she shouted. ''Why are you even here? Why did you even come back? You found your home again, and probably your family and friends too! Shouldn't you be there instead of here?

A deep look of sadness appeared in his eyes, and Clara wondered if had been there all this time and she'd just missed it.

''Oh, Clara, but you're not the only one who lied.''

''What?'' she asked. Had something happened to Gallifrey again? She couldn't think of any other reason for the sadness lurking in his eyes.

''You see, Clara, you and I we're both liars. You lied for the exact same reason I did, the happiness of the other even if it meant you'd be miserable. The truth is I don't know where Gallifrey is. The coordinates she gave me—there was nothing there.''

''Oh my gosh!'' she said. ''All this time we could've been traveling together, but we've both spent it all alone.'' The realization was sweeping over her, making her realize that both of them would've benefited if the truth had only been told long ago. She could've laughed at how ridiculous it was if she still hadn't felt sad about everything that had happened.

''Doctor, permission to hug? And this time we won't be saying goodbye, we''ll be saying hello.'' She didn't know what made her say it, she just knew she needed to hug him. Needed to know that he was right there and was never going to leave again—at least that was what she was hoping.

''Permission granted,'' he said lowering his head slightly, and Clara thought for a moment that she'd seen him smile slightly. She bounded forward and and reached up. Standing on her toes she put her arms around him and hugged him tightly—closing her eyes as she inhaled his scent and tried to etch this moment into her mind forever. He'd put his arms around her, and she could tell that he was trying to store this moment away in his mind too.

When they finally broke apart from their hug, Clara pulled him forward and kissed him, pressing her lips gently to his. And it was every bit as wonderful as she had imagined it would be. Better than all the universes and wonders she'd ever seen, like a taste of a star.

She felt the Doctor stiffen slightly, and briefly she feared he might pull away—she didn't know if she could stand that if he did—but he didn't. He kissed her back—more gently than she had expected—and cupped her face with his hands.

Both of them were so completely absorbed in the moment that neither one noticed the mistletoe disappearing, or that the invisible force-field had lifted.


On Christmas day Clara awoke happier than she'd felt in months. Most of her happy mood was attributed to the fact that she could see the TARDIS, from where it was sitting in the living room, through her open doorway—a wonderful reminder that the Doctor was back. Briefly she wondered what he was doing. He was probably inside it bustling around, maybe working on updating the TARDIS or perhaps reading a book, or he might even be sleeping, although she knew he didn't need a lot of it.

Laying comfortably in bed she watched as the TARDIS doors opened and the Doctor stepped out. He walked through the hallway toward her bedroom, glancing up and meeting her face when he saw she was awake.

Clara sat up in bed, a large grin spreading across her face when he walked into the room

''You certainly look very... happy,'' he said, taking note of the grin on her face.

If it was possible, she would have grinned even wider. ''Well I've got a lot to be happy about. It's Christmas day, you're here, and... well we're finally being honest with each other.''

''Yes, well, I suppose that's true.''

''Come here,'' she insisted, patting a spot on her bed.

He hesitated a moment before walking over slowly and sitting on the bed, directly across from Clara. She grabbed his hand and intertwined her fingers between his, then suddenly leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. ''Merry Christmas, Doctor!'' she exclaimed as she sprang away from his face, happiness she didn't even try to disguise leaking into her voice.

When she looked back at his face, his expression was one of surprise.

''What, seriously?'' she asked. ''After the kiss-fest we had last night, one peck on the cheek and you go all dumbstruck?''

''I... well... just... didn't... expect—'' he stumbled over the words looking very flustered. ''You're laughing! Why are you laughing? Stop it.''

''Sorry,'' Clara gasped out as she tried to control her laughter. ''It's just—the look on your face, you looked so uncomfortable. Still not use to this, are you?''

''No, not yet. And... I think we should take things slowly, not rush into anything.''

''Doctor, you better not be suggesting what I think you are,'' Clara said in a warning voice. If he'd been leading her on last night and was now telling her that they shouldn't be together...

''No, no, not like that,'' he said rushing to correct himself. ''I just—well, it's been a while since I've been in a relationship like this, and I don't want to mess it up or hurt you.''

''Bit rusty in some areas, need a manual, huh?'' she suggested a sly grin on her face.

''Yes, exactly like that.''

Clara slipped her hand once again into his and gave it a soft squeeze, then laid her head on his shoulder. ''Going slowly doesn't actually sound so bad.'' And it was the truth, as long as she was with him she wouldn't mind how slowly they were taking their relationship, just being with him was enough. After all what's Christmas without spending it with the one you love?