This was written under the title of 'ANGST', which basically says everything you need to know.
Well. There I present you a little of an inverse situation in the age old coffcoffphantasycoffcoff What If situation of Valerie killing Phantom. It's short. I'm not sorry.
(As my younger self wrote after creating this: 'Ok I'm just a sadist I admit it don't look at me like that'.)
Enjoy!


He loses control.

He pants, heavy, labored breaths, as he looks at the floor, eyes open wide. Adrenaline starts to dissolve, leaving behind the hollow sense of something wrong. He knows there's something that isn't quite alright, but he can't place what, he can only breathe and watch the red recede from his eyes, wait until he regains control of himself.

When he does, he wishes he'd never lost it in the first place.

His breathing quickens, and he nearly hyperventilates, a silent string of 'nononononono' choking in his throat. He flees from the place at top speed, phases through the walls to his room and then to the bathroom. He doesn't dare look at his reflection, and his hands tremble, soaked in red. He leaves a trail of blood behind him as he enters the bathtub, and the cold pressured water of the shower only serves to make him choke. Still, he stays like that, under the freezing water, gasping for air and trembling like a broken child. It isn't until after he's stood a good ten minutes after turning back to human that he closes the water, and just falls down, sprawled in the bathtub with glassy eyes.

What has he done?

The memories of a smooth dark terrible voice assault him, and his fist makes contact with the wall almost instantly. He doesn't even feel the pain, too numb and too cold.

He's too cold.

(And it wasn't his fault. He was low on sleep, and had already fought five ghosts. He was hungry, sleepy and only working by adrenaline. He was so scared (so scared so scared) and he didn't want to die not again not like that and everything just turned red before he realized it he's so sorry so sorry...

she would have killed him)

And he looks at his hands, clean and pale, a slight tinge of blue in them. They are still trembling. They are still dirty.

He knows.

He knows.

It's too cold.