A Thousand Shards

It was funny, in a way.

Not ha-ha funny, but odd funny.

It was funny that in all those thousand times she had shown up in my life, I had only chosen to remember her twice.

I always believed that there was a reason for what she would always say to me, "Run, you clever boy, and remember." And she did, every time she saw me. She always remembered, if only for a second... a vague flicker of recognition in her eyes, right before death. But she would, that clever girl.

No, Soufflé Girl.

Clara.

My Clara.

My impossible girl...

Sometimes, I still can't believe what she did, jumping into my time stream, and all to save me, an ancient, scatterbrained man with both hearts broken. All the while, the time winds were picking her up and splitting her into a thousand shards of Clara. She never stopped. She didn't even think twice, she just- sacrificed herself. For me. There's nothing I can do to ever thank her. She didn't even want to be. And I can tell, she never ever expected me to save her back. But how could I risk loosing her? She's perfect... just perfect...

And she's been there through it all.

Everything.

She was there on Gallifrey- a Time Lady!- as I grew up; she was there to lead me to my TARDIS as I fled from the government's corruption. Clara was there watching as Susan and I hid on Earth known to me then as Sol III, after landing on that planet for the very first time.

She was there in my greatest battles- against the Cybermen, the Master, the Zygons, the Daleks, the Rani, Omega, Sontarans, everywhere.

My Clara was even there in the calmer moments, as I walked down a quiet solitary beach on a planet in a distant galaxy, as I browsed through books in The Library. She was there patiently watching as I shared my lifestyle with each of my companions.

And every time she saved me.

It wasn't always obvious, the way she would intercede. She would sometimes just save me in the littlest of ways. I now can recall a time in my first incarnation, when I was fuddling around with that old walking cane, and its tip got caught in the edge of a sidewalk. I almost tripped, I remember. But there was this young girl, a human brunette, who caught me by the shoulder and smiled at me. I didn't pay much attention then, but I do now. It was Clara.

In my second incarnation, as I left from watching an opera, I remember a young woman running after me to hand me my TARDIS key, which I had left in my seat. Reflecting back, it was obviously Clara.

In my third incarnation, there was a petite brown-haired woman who helped give me directions back to the main road when I visited a small town for UNIT business... And it was Clara.

Traveling all the way through the next thousand or so years of my life, she was there protecting me and helping me, even if I didn't know it. Seeing her now in front of me, my impossible girl, makes me feel thick for not realizing it sooner.

She's loved me the whole of my life, every day I've ever lived. And while I'm rubbish at admitting it, I'm beginning to feel the same. After all, she'll always be my impossible girl, my Clara... The woman who continues to save me even now, everyday.