I was in the depths of hell. I was facing deaths itself, the gay bastard. He wasn't worth a fraction of my presence. That low life should have been trapped on earth with the rest of them homofobes. I pushed him out of the cage as he screamed in his girlish scream like sassyfaggotvoiceass a.k.a Justin Beaver.
I cursed myself. The only reason I was here was because the god damn gay sparkly vampires were declaring war on us. The stupid sparkling fairies. My general had order me to grab Gumball out of hell and take him up to rape them. And believe me, I wouldn't have done it, if I hadn't been threatened to be condemned a virgin for eternity.
I punched him to the ground, knocking him out. That should shut him up until I got home.
Two hours after the shit.
I thought he was knocked out, but I soon found him groping me. As I carried him on my back, I took his arm and slung him over a ledge. I held onto him and said, "If you do that again, I'll kill you even if it means the death of me!"
He said, "I'm sorry ma'm. I won't do it again." He mumbled his crazy Fiona song, and I slapped him.
"Now shut the fuck up before I blow your penis off."
He sealed his lips.
For five seconds, it was the most beautiful fine second of life, seeing his eye bloody and him grasping his crotch after I kicked his tallywacker off the face of hell, and into heaven for eternity. "Now come on shit bag, let's get outta here."
Finally, we got home and I slit his neck. He was bleeding, but not dead sadly. I shoved into a cage with no condoms, and I put a rapid peace of shit that looked like Justin Beaver in there. I prayed to the gods that he would die by morning, but he couldn't because he had to rape Edward Cullen.
Then when he was done fucking the shit sadly, I placed Justin in there for my enjoyment and watched the gay asses make love. It wasn't pretty. They both moaned and fucked each other like two fucking machine guns. No cum came out of their prepubecenet dicks. And I thank the gods that Justin Beaver lost his sad gay ass virginity to a bitch called Gumball.
After I was done with my beauty sleep, though I'm not sure how I did that with them moaning the whole fucking night, I hauled Gumball out of his cage, while Justin begged me to keep him in.
"Go fuck yourself," I spat venomously.
Justin Beaver growled and bit my finger.
I snapped and threw him onto the ground. I grabbed a knife and stabbed his tiny vagina to shreds. It was beautiful. His blood splattered everywhere and when his entire stomach ripped open, I realized he had no sperms or eggs.
"Such a waste of sex." I scowled and threw the knife down. They could just fuck themselves in hell. Maybe when I got home, I'd send them a cucumber package.
Gumball stayed silent for the rest of trip luckily, and I was in the best mood you can be with him on your back.
I eventually made it back to my home, and my general smiled at my success.
"Fantastic job! I already captured that bitch Edward, so you can just go in the back and throw Gumball in."
I nodded and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. I eventually made it to the back room and threw him inside. Gumball suddenly leaped forward and grabbed Edward. He threw all his clothes and at first Edward struggled.
A minute later, he moaned and started fondling Gumball right back. They licked each other and rubbed themselves. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. But fuck man, it was terrible.
There was no dominance. At first it was just Gumball doing all the work, but now they were just like statues. They were lying on top of each other without doing a single goddamn thing. What a waste of virgins.
Now what happens next will only be read by the incredibly idiotic. In other words, only read this if you are bored or aching to read about cunt ass hobos.
Suddenly, Justin Beaver burst in the room. It was a terrible sight to behold, since he actually seemed attracted and turned on by the scene.
"I wanna join!" he screamed like a little girl.
So it became a threeway of cunt ass sparkly fairy, guy who thinks he can sing, and Gumball of the gays.
At that point I fell down, blinded. I barely got out of it alive.
Now what killed me.
Neil Pattrick Harris burst in the room wearing a Justin Beaver shirt. I died. I fucking just died. I am writing this in hell by the way. Neil was there to see JB. Justin welcomed him and they somehow managed to have a four way.
I fell on my back dead, and my general came in. He shook his head. "Poor kid," he muttered. "Should have just threw him in and left as soon as possible."
He reached into my pocket and took my wallet. "Oh well. I needed the money."
So here I am hell plotting my revenge. My revenge against the general, Justin Beaver, Neil Patrick Harris, and Gumball of the gays. Screw them all.
