Justice for Rollins
this is my take on what could have happened after the Forgiving Rollins episode
I don't own any SVU characters
3 weeks after the Patton trial
Amanda walks into the precinct, late, with a huge cup of coffee and sunglasses
Chapter 1
"You're late and it's your first day back," Liv states as she passes Amanda on the way to her office, already annoyed with the younger detective. She doesn't know the full extent of what she went through with Patton.
"Hey Rollins how was your staycation?" Fin asks with a sheepish smile.
"mmm. It was fine," she replies with a slight, secretive nod. She repositions her sunglasses and subconsciously scratches at her wrist which doesn't go unnoticed by Fin.
"Hey what's with the glasses slick? You're inside now you can take them off you know." He says suspiciously. A look of fear flashes over her face as she realizes that she has to take her glasses off. Trying to avoid the inevitable, she turned around and sat down at her desk as she took off her glasses.
"Woah! Rollins what happened to your face!?" Nick exclaims as he walks closer to fully see her face. She has a split lip and a right eye as black as night that looks like she tried to cover up with makeup.
"It's nothing. I just got in a fist fight with myself while trying to get dressed yesterday," she evasively says while looking away. This isn't enough to convince Fin but as he's about to say something Liv walks up and tells them,
"Hey, new victim said she was raped in Central Park while she was walking last night. Rollins. You and me are going to the hospital to question her. Fin and Amaro go to the scene." And with that they ended the conversation and left.
Benson and Rollins walk into the hospital in an awkward silence. Olivia had enough and asked,
"So why did you run out of Lindstrom's office?"
"I decided I was fine and I didn't need it," Amanda replied with.
"Amanda you need to deal with what happened. He convinced you to.."
"Hello detectives Ashley Roan, 17, is in room 138 and she already did a rape kit," The nurse interrupted as she walked up.
"Ok. Thank you doctor. Lets go Rollins," said Olivia, pleased to go and meet the victim. Amanda follows her, thankful that she doesn't have to tell Liv anything and reveal another huge secret that no one should ever know about.
Liv and Amanda enter the room and immediately see the damage that the rapist did to her. They feel sickened at the thought of what Ashley must have gone through.
"Hello Ashley I'm detective Benson and this is Detective Rollins nice to meet you," Liv starts with, "Do you mind telling us what happened?"
"I-i was walking home after practice and h-he came up behind me in the park. It was empty, why was no one around?" She looks at the detectives with pleading eyes. Olivia looks at Amanda for support on what to say but she looks incredibly spaced out and her face is slowly crumbling.
"Sweetie no matter what happened just know it's not your fault. It's that bastard who raped you, it's his fault." Liv finishes taking her statement and they leave the hospital.
On the way back to the precinct Liv asks Amanda, "What was that? You didn't say one word to her. Not one word. What's going on with you?" Amanda turns to her and opens her mouth as she contemplates telling Olivia. Liv saw this inner turmoil and took her chance,
"C'mon Amanda you can tell me. I can help!" Amanda opens her mouth again to speak just as her phone buzzes and she jumps. This doesn't go unnoticed by Liv and she also sees Rollins pale immediately.
"Amanda. What is it? What just happened?" Liv asks very concerned. Amanda doesn't answer because she's too busy trying not to cry or throw up all over Liv's car. How can anyone trust me anymore? They can't know. How can I be an Special Victims detective when I'm such a disgrace? They probably all think I'm a stupid whore. Stupid stupid whore. I deserve this. This is all my fault. Liv notices that Amanda is going down a dark path in her thoughts so she tried to take her out of it.
"Amanda, honey, where are you? What happened?"
"Nothing. It's nothing. I can handle it by myself. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing," she keeps repeating as to try and convince herself it was true.
"Amanda, Amanda, honey tell me, I can help! Just let me help," Olivia says soothingly.
"There's nothing that I need help with. Sarge can you drop me off here? I'm going to take the rest of the day off. Thank you," Amanda replies curtly. Liv reluctantly drops her off against her better judgement and Rollins starts walking away.
She walks away from Benson's car as fast as humanly possible with her hurting body. She can't wait to get home and release the pressure she's feeling. I hope my team doesn't figure out what happened last night. They don't need to know that Patton sent his two men to threaten me and knock me around. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. I can't wait to get home. Once she gets home she greets Frannie and walks straight to the bathroom to find what she's looking for. Once she finds her trusty razor she pulls up her sleeve. She hasn't done this in so long and she feels so bad. She cuts into her skin, not deep enough to need stitches of course, and feels some of the pressure release. Just this once she thinks to herself. She cuts in four more spaces just for good measure. Then she sits in her living room nursing her new wound and watches television. She eventually nods off.
