Just be warned, I may never go passed the 11 chapters I already have finished making this a permanent WIP. But I had a lot of feelings after the MSF and this was written directly after. I just kind of ran out of steam, but I hope you enjoy what I did manage to get out! I'll post a chapter a day :D Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Robert Kirkman, AMC and other affiliates except for the huge amount angst they give me. That's alllll mine.


Carol sat in the back of the van, head leaning against the cool metal, eyes closed. Every point of her body ached, and it made her think back to Jim after he was bit, saying how his bones felt like glass. They had been traveling for hours all stuffed in this van and every jostle sent screams through her. But she kept quiet, tried to keep her face steady as to not alarm anyone, especially when they were all hurting from a different kind of pain.

They buried Beth just outside of Atlanta, amongst a field of beautiful white and pink flowers. Father Gabriel spoke and it made everything seem so much more official and real than any other they had to bury. The sobs that racked their bodies were powerful, that even those in their group that never met her felt the unwavering sadness. Silently they all loaded back into that van, Abraham at the helm, and continued on.

It would be dusk soon and Rick wanted to gather supplies, and maybe find a spot to sleep for the night. He and Tyreese had insisted that Carol stay put in the van. She certainly wasn't fooling anyone that she was fine. Her eyes opened at the sudden shake of the van and watched as Daryl sat on the edge, trying to control his movements as much as possible. He sat at her feet, his legs hanging out the open doors. Gingerly he laid a hand on her ankle.

"There was nothin' to hunt," he offered after a few moments. He had bolted out of that van as soon as they had parked, under the guise of a hunt. She knew though how the stifling the quiet sobs felt. How overwhelming the proximity of the group was. He needed his time to be alone, to mourn, to try and let go at his own pace.

Carol responded with a grimace as she tried, but failed, to shift her body. She could feel her back beginning to stiffen against the hard surface.

"Ya okay?" he asked, all the care and gentleness in the world. She smiled slightly. He retreated back into himself, looking across the field they were parked at the edge of.

"Remember before…when you asked why I didn't ask you 'bout the girls? And I said it was cause I already knew what happened, that they weren't here. And then you said that it was worse then that?" he glanced over at her.

She nodded, "Yeah."

He looked back at his hands, "How? How could anything be worse than…than this?"

Carol swallowed. Maybe on that day she could have told him. If he had asked then as they stared down at the Atlanta skyline, the smallest flame of hope within her, she probably could have done it. But not now. Not when he was like this, a hollowed shell trying with all his might to regain a purpose. Not when he was holding onto her with all his might, like she was the last thing he could keep a grasp on. As if she slipped away too, then he'd have nothing.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Tyreese. He had been so supportive of her, in so many ways, since they had been reunited at Grady. As far as she knew, he still stood on his pact to not mention the girls, especially so after Beth. He didn't need to be reminded of that heartache.

She looked back at Daryl to find he was already staring at her. She tried to shrug her shoulders, but all she could manage was the slightest lift of her left side.

"…Just was."

He didn't understand but he couldn't push her. She was already beyond her limits, and he knew how much care and effort she was pouring into him. Instead of concentrating on herself and healing up, every moment she could spare was on him. He tried to reciprocate, but he just couldn't do it. Not yet.

Rummaging through the black duffle bag on his right side he pulled out a small pill bottle. The doctor was nice enough to give them some painkillers along with Carol's knife and rifle.

"C'mon, you should take one of these. It's been a long time and you look like shit," he reached towards her but Carol swatted him away.

"I'm fine."

"Carol," he said her name in a whisper.

"They make me drowsy. I'll fall asleep here and then someone's going to be stuck in this shit box with me all night," The pain was making her all types of agitated and coming out of her in snippy remarks. She tried her best to rein them in but when people tried to dote on her they came out in waves.

"I'm sure I, or Tyreese, or Abraham, hell even Michonne could carry you to wherever we're setting up camp if you do fall asleep," he kept his voice level, knowing that it was her discomfort making her so aggressive.

She closed her eyes, "No." The van began jostling again and the distortion in her face was getting harder to control. She felt him beside her, leaning agonizingly close.

"Please," he said, pressing two small pills to her lips, "just open your mouth."

Re-opening her eyes, she glared at him, but obliged. He slid the pills in and held up his canteen to her mouth. She took two small gulps, as the uncoated chalky taste filled her tongue. Swallowing with effort she began to breathe deeply. On an empty stomach these painkillers were more than prone to cause nausea. It was just another discomfort to add to her growing list.

He sat back against the van, watching her intently. Her eyes were screwed shut tightly and he listened to the deepening of her breaths. It ate him alive how much pain she was in, but watching her deal with it so openly and bravely, helped him. If she was still able to fight with such earnest then surely he had to as well. He placed his fingers against her palm, and felt her hand close tightly around them. Maybe he couldn't soothe her heart right now, with his so damaged, but he could do his best to make sure she started healing. When her breathing softened and he saw her chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm he knew she had fallen asleep.