It all started when those girls fell out of the sky. Those two girls that could have caused the end of the universe. Those weird, weird girls.

Eren, Armin, and Mikasa were all on a Titan fight in the city with the rest of the cadets. Titans poured through the wall like a shaken bottle of soda.

The Armored Titan burst through the wall moments earlier. The Colossal Titan had yet to show up, and everyone was hoping it wouldn't. Bertholt and Reiner were nowhere to be seen. Connie looked over, after killing Titan he was fighting, at Eren.

"Eren! You're running out of gas!" he yelled to his friend, the fifth best of the cadet class. Eren had been fighting hard against the Titans, so he didn't realize that he had used so much gas.

Then, things went crazy. Two girls a little bit younger than Eren and Armin fell out of the sky, fully equipped in Scouting Legion gear. The first one drew her blades and slashed at the Titan's neck. One clean slice later, the Titan was dead. The second one face planted on the rooftops.

"YAHOO! FIGHT THE CONDOMS!" The second girl yelled, standing up and rushing over to Connie with a blue marker.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Connie asked worriedly. These girls freaked him out. The second girl smiled wickedly, slowly approaching the cadet like a panther on a prowl.

"DUN… DAH DAH DUN… DAH DAH DUN… DAH DAH DUN!" She yelled, drawing a giant blue arrow on his forehead.

The other girl looked over to see what the former had done. She took one look at Connie's head and burst out laughing. Connie looked at the first girl, then the second girl, then back at the first girl.

"AANG, USE YOUR AIRBENDING TO KILL THE CONDOMS!" The second girl said, grasping his shoulders and shaking him violently.

"Um, what?" Connie asked, shoving her off of him.

"That's enough. We have a job to do, remember? Let's get to it." The first girl stated, pulling the second girl by her collar.

"But I was! Honest! Look at Aang-er, Connie's face! It's beautiful…" she retorted, struggling to draw on his face again.

"Don't make me do IT," the first girl said, pinching the second girl's ear. The former turned to the cadets. "Hello cadets. I am havarti2 and my… accomplice here is The Utterly Fabulous Z. We are here from our dimension to break your walls. Good luck trying to stop us. You'll need it,"

"ACCOMPLICE?! YOU MEANIE! I HOPE BERTHOLT EATS YER FOOT!" The Utterly Fabulous Z, aka Z, screeched.

"You. Want. To. Break. The. Walls!? ARE YOU CRAZY!? I WILL DESTROY YOU, YOU… YOU…" Eren yelled, drawing his blades and ignoring Z's comment. He flung himself at havarti, but was in for a surprise. havarti flicked her hand at his face and a banana cream pie apparated and splattered all over the cadet.

"Not those walls, silly! You are DANCER!" Z laughed hysterically. She snapped her fingers and Eren suddenly was wearing a ballerina leotard, a tutu, ballet shoes, a tiara, fairy wings, and it was all pink and sparkly.

"Feeling stupid now? Silly boy. Silly silly boy. You really need to get out more. Oh wait. You can't," havarti said, smiling at Eren. He removed the pie tin from his face and glared at havarti2, while Jean was laughing his head off at him and Connie, who was trying to wipe the marker off of his forehead with the back of his hand.

"And by the way, Connie, it's permanent. You can't get if off like that, if you can get it off at all. It's useless," With that, Connie started scrubbing his forehead even harder, while Jean fell over laughing his face off and Marco was trying to get him to stand up.

"Come forth from the depths of the pit of the insane fanfiction authoress' Insanity Force, I summon thee! Flozs!" Z chanted, flailing her arms wildly. A pentagram surrounded by fluffy oranges and Squidwards appeared in the sky and a strange creature appears.

It had a body of an octopus, with zebra legs coming out of its stomach, the tail of a squirrel, and the heads of all three. "FLOZWALD!" Z squealed, hugging the giant monstrosity that is known as a Fluffy Loud Octopus Zebra Squirrel. Aka a flozs. It made a sound similar to a kitten swallowing a dinging microwave.

"Hey. Where are Bertholt and Reiner? Shouldn't they be with you guys?" havarti looked around before settling her gaze on a random point in the distance. "OH NEVERMIND. Y'ALL GONNA HAVE A COLOSSAL PROBLEM. BETTER PUT ON SOME ARMOR... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" havarti laughed hysterically, looking concerned at the same time. Annie shot her a death glare. "Oh I forgot you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I don't like you," havarti glared back.

"Oh, so no one's questioning Flozwald? Y'all ah so kind. Who wants candy?" Z asked.

"I QUESTION FLOZWALD OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS," Ymir stated hugging Christa and chewing on her hair.

"Please stop doing that…" Christa squeaked, looking up at Ymir.

"SQUAGLES ARE F***ING ALIVE!" Z shouted before getting interrupted by havarti.

"As is Marco apparently." havarti said, finger to chin, staring intently at Marco. He tilted his head and looking at her.

"I'LL EAT THEM ALL…" Z growled in a condescending voice.

"Please don't eat Canada's pancakes. Again. What are you going to eat, the Titans or those three day old fish sticks I found on the sidewalk?" havarti asked.

"NEITHER. I'M GOING TO EAT-" Z started, but havarti cut her off.

"Austria."

"NO! HE'S AN ANGRY PIANO PLAYER WHO WEARS THREE WEEK OLD UNDERWEAR! AND HE'S GOT WEIRD HAIR!" Z paused.

"I'M GOING TO EAT-" Z started again, but havarti once again interrupted.

"That onigiri from Japan's magical toilet shop."

"NO. WHAT!? I'M GOING TO EAT-" Z yelled.

All sounds stopped except for a cheesy ringtone. "D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-Dora!"

havarti looks directly into Z's eyes and burst out laughing.

"GODS OF OLYMPUS DAMN IT! STOP INTERRUPTING ME, UNIVERSE! YOU DON'T GET SENT FLOWERS!" Z flipped off nearly everything in sight.

"Then what are you going to eat? I've been waiting twenty minutes." Annie complained.

"I AM GOING TO EAT 206 TUBES OF LIP BALM!" Z screamed triumphantly.

"WHAT, WHY!? OUR MISSION IS TO WREAK HAVOC, NOT BREAK YOUR INTESTINES! YOU'D BE ON THE TOILET FOR HOURS!" havarti yelled at Z, waving her arms frantically.

"Actually, I'd puke it on the Titans and be like, 'Acid Lip Balm!'."

"WHAT." Reiner said, showing up (finally…). Mikasa shook her head and Armin opened his mouth to ask him where he was, but before he could say anything, he was cut short by havarti2.

"Go eat an acid pickle. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I don't like you." havarti hissed at Reiner.

"AHEM. WHO ARE YOU TWO AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY NEW RECRUITS?" A very short man said with a gravelly voice. havarti turned to see who spoke and became face to face with Captain Levi Rivaille (Ackerman).

Z closed her eyes and opened her mouth. She stuck her hand into said mouth and withdrew a yellow bazooka. She lifted the bazooka at Levi.

"What are you do-" He started, but was cut off by a blast of mustard. To the face. Yellow mustard dripped down from his hair and face onto his freshly cleaned uniform, staining the fabric for probably eternity. Or the next time he washed it.

The cadets looked around at each other, eyes wide. Connie, Marco, and Eren were trying not to laugh, while Sasha and Jean were rolling around in midair laughing so hard that they were crying.

"Um… How are they doing that?" asked Erwin, who came from nowhere. havarti looked over at the captain and screamed.

"OH MY GODS IT'S CAPTAIN AMERICA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GO FIND THE REST OF THE AVENGERS AND GET CONFUSED BY A COMPUTER OR SOMETHING. YOUR EYEBROWS ARE ENORMOUS," havarti laughed and ran in circles around the now extremely confused Erwin.

"EXORCISM!" Z yelled, pulling a gigantic tube of Wet-Ones hand wipes out of nowhere and chucked one in every direction.

"OH MY GODS DON'T HIT ME WITH THOSE. OH MY GODS DON'T HIT ME. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" havarti ran away from the storm of Wet-Ones, hiding from the cleaning wipes.

Several of the wipes hit Levi (who cradled them like children), Armin, Mikasa, the rest of the cadets (spare Marco and Eren) and several of the Titans in the face. "EXORCISM!" Z shouted, pulling a certain son of Satan out of thin air.

"What the hell?!" Rin looked around, eyes resting on Z and havarti. "Z! havarti! Send me back, dammit!"

"When did the Titans get here?" havarti asked, looking around.

Z waved her hand and Rin disappeared. "Bye bye!" She then turned to havarti. "They were~ already there~!" She sang.

A dead chicken fell from the sky at that exact moment. "Ferdoop. Ferdoop. Lol cats are invading the Chinese restaurant on Main Street. Troll in the dungeon, just thought you should know."

"Puke rainbows, Magic ninja, freaky chicken!" havarti yelled.

"Can we actually develop a plot line?" Z asked, tilting her head. Everyone turned to look at her.

"What?" All, save havarti, asked. havarti gasped and grabbed Z's shoulders.

"You. Just. Jeopardized. Our. Mission." havarti exclaimed, shaking Z violently.

And at that exact moment, the world exploded into Cheetos.