A/N: Most of the time I stick to manga-centric facts rather than the anime, however, in the case of HotaruxRuka, the anime certainly shows more possibilities in those two compared to the manga. Upon re-reading a one shot that I found to be amusing, this dialogue ended up plaguing my mind during breakfast. This may seem slightly out of character and may be confusing to read at times, so bear with me.


It started off like any other day. Hotaru was busy pondering over some latest designs for her invention when her special Ruka radar gave her a small -beep- sound, indicating that her most popular subject was in the premises. She could feel her camera next to her pocket. A shuffling of footsteps and a flash could be heard within the blink of an eye. The dark purple haired girl could almost hear the frown as she relished in her victory.

"If a certain Genius Inventor wasn't so intent on taking discriminating pictures, one would offer a rabbit for her thoughts." Hotaru's subject said offhandedly.

"If that poor victim properly posed for said snapshots, I would tell said subject that my thoughts are certainly worth more than one rabbit." Hotaru replied, bemused.

"If that cruel paparazzi-wannabe didn't blackmail my rabbits with her photos, I wouldn't be in such a destitute state." Ruka shot back with a glare.

"It just so happened that a certain Animal Pheromone Alice is so popular with the fan girls, I on the other hand, would rather be inventing a new device than waste my time trying to take pictures of that Snow White impersonator." the Genius Inventor Alice explained lazily.

"If it weren't for that hormonal pheromone closeted freak of a teacher, I would have never agreed to such a proposal." the blonde boy countered, scowling at said memory.

"If I wasn't so bent on pretending to ignore people talking to me, I would ask what the hell they are doing so close to my personal space." Hotaru snipped as she stared at her designs again, trying to find off where she left in her train of thoughts.

"Well, some purple haired tart decided to distract me from my original purpose, which was to help ask a certain girl if she had a date to the Christmas ball." Ruka said, trying to not let his blush conquer his features as he took half a step back.

"That tart as you put it, would soon be suing a so-called blonde for slander, as she did nothing to be labeled as a tart. Also, if she wasn't suddenly busy doing that, she would reply that it would be none of that blonde boy's business as said boy is merely helping to ask." Hotaru said snidely, not looking up from her blueprints.

"That blonde boy points out that it is a free country and that he is a true friend for asking about whether a certain girl had a date or not, thus saving his friend from potential embarrassment." the Animal Pheromone Alice argued.

"Too bad I'm so busy working on my project, otherwise I'd say that the animal lover has no friends, save for that pyromaniac who is already going to the ball with a certain smiling brunette." came Hotaru's caustic remark.

"If that animal lover wasn't so busy talking to some cold hearted girl, he would reply that he most definitely has other friends besides that flame producing boy." Ruka informed, pursing his lips.

"That monetarily ruthless girl would note that a white haired rabbit does not constitute as being a friend, since it isn't even human, and that any other so-called friends should have some balls and ask her about the ball himself, instead of sending such a feminine looking pansy boy." the purple haired girl said loftily.

"If I wasn't trying to placate my pet rabbit's hurt feelings, I'd tell that miser that his Usagi-chan is most definitely a friend, and that the other friend-who does exist-did not want to approach such a sadistic girl on possible prospects about the ball, lest she single handedly rejects his proposal, causing him to become emotionally unstable." the blonde replied, slight tones of hurt could already be heard at her remark of 'pansy boy.'

"I think that sadist would have accepted that imaginary friend's proposal if said friend had asked her directly instead of beating around the bush in what is certainly an un-cute manner." Hotaru drawled.

"That definitely existing friend would shake his head in disbelief and question whether that acceptance is real or a joke." Ruka asked, eyes widening.

"I would suggest that the acceptance will cost 100 rabbits, and become invalid in 2 minutes if a certain animal lover continues to gape at me like a fish out of sea." Hotaru smirked as Ruka's mouth shut abruptly.

"That animal lover's friend would become the happiest and poorest man in the world upon hearing such unbelievable news." Ruka said cheekily as a smile threatened to burst out of his rapidly failing stoic face.

"Since I'm in such a good mood, I'd remind a certain blonde boy that his friend should pick his date up at 7 pm sharp, since I know that this particular girl hates tardiness." the Genius Inventor mused as she scribbled on her calculations.

"If I weren't busy trying to thank a certain inventor, I would be running off to my friend to inform him of the good news." Ruka grinned.

"Well, if I were that blonde baka, I would quit while I'm ahead before I make some stupid gesture that would cause me to be on the receiving end of a rather nasty hoof stamp." Hotaru hinted as she took out her baka hoof and started to polish the edges.

"I would think that the blonde boy should be making his exit now and hopes that the Genius Inventor Alice would have mercy on him and give him a 10 second head start." Ruka gulped, backing away as he said that. A dust cloud could be seen as the animal lover vanished. Moments later, another set of footsteps could be heard approaching Hotaru.

"What did Ruka-pyon want, Hotaru?" Mikan asked innocently as Hotaru focused on her work.

"Hm? Nothing much." Hotaru said idly, engrossed in her work.

"If you say so." Mikan replied with a slightly scrunched face.


Two weeks later

It was just coincidence that Hotaru Imai happened to be on the arms of Ruka Nogi. Her so-called 'date' totally abandoned her and sent Ruka in his place. Yes, that was it. Nothing to be so shocked about. The purple haired girl narrowed her eyes at the blonde who seemed like he was enjoying this more than usual. Her hands twitched towards her mini-hoof, safely snuggled in her purse.

"Ehh? Ruka-pyon, when did you ask Hotaru to the ball?" Mikan asked with her eyes in wide curiosity as Natsume locked eyes on his best friend with a quirk of his eyebrow. Ruka blushed slightly, then puffed up his chest and opened his mouth to speak.

"He didn't. If my date had showed up on time, I wouldn't be on the arms of this dateless loser here." Hotaru drawled, causing the animal lover's face to be crestfallen.

"If your date had shown up, he'd point out that it wasn't his fault a certain inventor had set up a money grubbing entrance fee to her door and that I am definitely not a dateless loser." Ruka rebutted as his grip on Hotaru tightened.

"I would think that my original date would have been much more of a gentleman than this manhandling ninny here. If he had shown up, he wouldn't start blundering and instead grab me a plate of those delicious looking pastries on those tables there." Hotaru said simply, eyes dancing with just a smidge of mirth as Ruka immediately went to grab two plates of said pastries.

"I think my friend would be eternally grateful that I'm saving you from those vultures-I mean wealthy vultures." the blonde replied as he rejoined the group, handing Hotaru a plate.

"Your friend would rather see me drop you in the middle of the dance floor to fend yourself from hungry wolves-I mean fan girls." the purple haired girl threatened with a smirk as Ruka blanched.

"My friend would take note of this and refuse to ask you to any future events." Ruka replied with his empty threat.

"Too bad I'm preoccupied trying to drag my date to the dance floor, otherwise I'd say that your friend is a horrible liar and a bad dancer, so I would be fine if he didn't ask me to future events." Hotaru said idly as she tugged her flustered date towards the dance floor. Mikan and Natsume sweat dropped.

"What's with them?" Mikan pondered.

"They're both nuts." Natsume replied finally as he yanked his brunette date towards the dance floor.

"You'd think that they'd be able to speak directly instead of running around in circles like that." Mikan remarked as she eased into the dance pattern, eyeing the blonde and purple haired pair.

"I think you should just stop staring at those two and pay attention to your date." Natsume said with a slight growl to his voice.

"I just think they look cute together." Mikan laughed as Hotaru's heels definitely did not just accidentally stomp on Ruka's foot. Natsume scowled as he followed her gaze.

"Eh." Natsume shrugged as he cupped his hands on Mikan's face and pulled it facing his crimson eyes.

"Fine fine, I'll pay attention to my date." Mikan gave in as she smiled brightly.


A/N: Just to clarify, Ruka really wasn't asking Hotaru for the sake of his 'friend' but you knew that right? :) Questions, thoughts, comments are greatly appreciated.