Author's Note: I just got back from vacation, like, yesterday, and I unfortunately couldn't post while I was there, but I wrote maybe like four one-shots on my iPod, of which this is one, and I'll be posting them all this weekend probably, or so. I'll also update Life Goes On, I won't abandon it even if it isn't a very popular story. So, this story's title is the first line of 'Wanted Dead or Alive' by Bon Jovi, and just read the story to find out the rest. Review!

Chandler threw open the door to his apartment and strutted in. He was in a particularly good mood today.

"Hey, Joe!" he called out, tossing his keys onto the table by the door. Joey grunted lamely in acknowledgement. Chandler hadn't even seen him in the room, but now he spotted him, stretched out in a recliner with a bottle of beer, staring somberly into the distance. "Everything alright?" Chandler's brow creased in concern and he came forward tentatively. Joey shrugged his shoulders, uninterested. Chandler chose not to worry about it, deciding Joey was just in one of his moods, and grabbed himself a beer.

He relaxed in the other recliner and turned on the TV, right on time for Baywatch, and lightly chatted to Joey about his day. But when Joey didn't respond at all, and wasn't even watching the TV, just staring past it, Chandler knew something was really wrong.

"Joey, tell me what's up." He tried again. Joey ignored him. Chandler tried to talk to him a few more times, but just got brushed off each time. He sighed audibly and went across the hall for help.

When Chandler first told Monica and Rachel what was up, they said what he had initially thought: that Joey was just in one of his moods, and that it'd pass. Chandler tried telling them it was bigger than that, and finally gave up and took each of them by the arm, bringing them back to his place so they could see for themselves. When they saw Joey (who hadn't moved since Chandler had left), they recognized what Chandler meant. They looked at each other worriedly, and Chandler sighed in exasperation, giving them looks. They glared back defensively, but then decided to let it go. Rachel walked over to Joey and put her arms around his shoulders, massaging them softly.

"Joey, honey, what's wrong?" she drawled at him, trying to get him to cave with her sugary-sweet tone of voice. He didn't respond, and just continued staring straight ahead, not saying a word. Rachel leaned back onto her heels, but kept her arms around him to comfort him. Monica came over to him and knelt in front of him, taking his free hand in hers and rubbing it softly. He made no effort to help her, but he also didn't object to it, nor did he try to shrug off Rachel's arms.

"Joey, sweetie, you can talk to us, we're your friends." Monica told him, looking up at him with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, man. You're scaring me." Chandler sat back down in the other recliner, now facing Joey, resting his chin in his hands and observing the two girls trying to get his best bud to cave. He knew from experience that Joey could be very stubborn if he wanted to be, but he was hoping he'd come around sooner or later.

Eventually they were interrupted when Ross burst in and told Monica and Rachel to come back over to theirs, saying he had something to show them. They reluctantly left Joey, who Ross didn't even notice, and followed Ross back out the door, leaving Chandler alone with his roommate.

"Well, I'll be in my room." Chandler awkwardly told Joey and stood up, letting Joey stay by himself. He decided it was no use right now, and they could try talking to him again later. Maybe he would have made a decision to tell them what was going on by then.

About fifteen minutes later, Chandler got a little bored and decided to go across the hall and see what all Ross's fuss had been about. On his way out, he told Joey where he was going and asked him to come along, but Joey just gave a slight shake of his head and went back into his trance-like state, staring off into the distance. Chandler shrugged unsure of what else to do, unsure of what else he could do, and made his way over to Monica and Rachel's.

Once over there, he disappointingly found out that all Ross had wanted to show them was a rat in their apartment, causing panicky hysterics from both girls. He shut the door behind him, looking troubled. The other three looked up from where Ross was trapping the rodent when they heard him walk in.

"Any luck?" Rachel asked him, although they could tell by the look on his face that nothing had changed. He shook his head, and at Ross's confused expression they filled him in. A minute later, Phoebe walked in, and after she'd cooed over the rat (yes, Phoebe being Phoebe, she thought it was cute), they told it all again. Phoebe said they should check on him, but they said it was no use and to wait a while.

After two hours, in which Joey still hadn't showed, they decided to go see him.

Phoebe ushered them all out the door and shut it, and speedily went across the hall to apartment 19. When she saw Joey, who apparently still hadn't moved one bit, her heart went out to him and she immediately rushed to his side.

"Joey, talk to me, please." He only stared on, stony-faced, no signs of emotion. The others watched warily, cowering in a corner of the room. Phoebe tried softly coaxing him a few more times, and when that didn't work, she started to get angry. "Joey Tribbiani, you stop ignoring me RIGHT NOW, do you hear? Now tell me what's wrong!" She whined the last part. Joey shook his head bitterly, but he took a deep, shaky breath and Phoebe thought she saw his bottom lip quivering, and maybe the start of tears forming in his eyes, if you looked closely. She sat down on the armrest of his chair and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Joey, I'm sorry for yelling, but please, you're killing me! Say something. For all of us." She tried one more time, but again all she got was a shake of his head as a response. She sighed. "Can you at least tell me why you won't tell us?" Joey hesitated for a second, but finally brought out a word, his voice sounding shaky and slightly croaky, and very quiet.

"It's embarrassing." He looked away, but at least he was done staring unto the distance. Now he and Phoebe were joined by the other four coming closer, all trying to comfort Joey, but also trying to find out what could have happened. Joey looked around at all their concerned faces, and it broke his heart. He decided he would tell them, because they were his friends. He looked pained. "Oh, alright, I give up. But you have to promise not to laugh at me! I trust you guys." They all promised, and eagerly listened, wondering what it could be.

"I had an audition today that I've been waiting for forever. It was the lead in this really cool new movie." He shook his head at the memory, and a miserable mix of sadness and anger settled on his face.

"That sounds great, Joe! What happened?" Chandler asked him, concerned.

"I didn't get it." Joey sniffed.

"Well there have been many auditions where you haven't gotten the part! Why is this different?" Ross asked."

"Well, it would have been really cool. And…" Joey trailed off, ashamed.

"And?" Monica prompted.

"Well, they were really mean about it! They said I was a great actor and all—"

"Wait a minute, this isn't your old trick where you pretend you didn't get it even though you did, right?"

"No!" He exclaimed honestly, causing the girls to shoot Chandler poisonous glares for his insensitivity. "Anyway, they said I was a wonderful actor and that I was perfect for the part except for one thing." The others looked at one another, wondering. "They said I was too stupid to work with!" Joey cried out, and buried his face in a pillow. Everybody else started comforting him, telling him he wasn't stupid, but he wasn't buying it.

"Oh, please." He said. "Everyone makes fun of me! Even girls have called me stupid, even when I'm great in bed. Even my family has done it. All my life. Everybody thinks I'm dumb."

"No, Joey! We don't." Monica told him, but Joey wasn't having it, shaking his head, distressed.

"Joey, listen to me. Joey. Look at me." Phoebe told him firmly, taking his hand. "You are a genius. Don't you ever forget that. And besides, you're full of other good things! You're loving and kind. They call you stupid because you think differently than them, but what do they know? They're stupid, all of them. They're all the same. They all suck. So don't EVER believe that you could be stupid ever again! Do you hear me?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Joey!" she said warningly.

"Okay, alright!" He gave in, and his friends all muttered encouraging things to him, hugging him, telling him they were his friends, they wouldn't laugh at him, they'd love him no matter what, and finally his face broke into a smile, the first since the audition. They were right; he just saw things differently than others. Laughing now, he pulled everyone into a group hug and stopped worrying.

He wasn't stupid.

Author's Note: Leave reviews! Make my day! Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it.