The Unicorn in the Blue Room by Camilla
The Unicorn in the Blue Room, by Camilla10
Summary
This is the third one shot in the series "Growth". I wanted to explore what really happened between Bella and Edward in the Blue room. Would some black lace and a please be enough to make him relent? Or something else was needed?
Foreword
This story owes everything to "No regrets" by Withthevampsofcourse, posted on twilighted net. There have been many versions of the first night on Isle Esme, but hers is the one that intrigued me most. It is dark, exciting and…. believable. The point is that during their passionate lovemaking Edward loses it and bites Bella on the inner tight. It is a small bite, and almost immediately he sucks the venom and seals the wound. Bella is so far gone in pleasure that he thinks she never even realized what he had done. I think that the bite, more than just bruises, explain why the morning after Edward is horrified and says "no more". Unfortunately, the author never wrote a follow up, to my frustration, because I hoped to learn why Edward eventually relented and was able to make love to Bella without hurting her. Surely some black lace and a "please" would not have sufficed. Since no other explanation is forthcoming, I try to give my own. It is rather OOC, while afterwards the story could continue exactly in the way Stephenie Meyer wrote it.
Story notes
The first lines in Italics are taken from Breaking Down.
Many thanks to EclipsedbyJacob and Alice Dances, my pre submission Beta.
Bella
He stared at me with confused, anguished eyes.
"I'm s-s-s-orry," I mumbled.
But he pulled me to him then, hugging me tightly to his marble chest.
"I can't, Bella, I can't!" His moan was agonized.
No, he was not going to relent, and I was going to implode. Here, in this room, in this bed, unless…
"Please, I want to tell you something," I said, turning in his arms so that my back was pressed to his chest, my cheek resting on his bicep. I knew that I would never have the courage to speak if I looked him in the face. "You know I love you," I continued, "but you don't understand how I love you and now you are going t o listen while I explain it to you.
At first, I was drawn in by Beautiful Edward, with his dazzling good looks, velvety voice, sweet scent, and the mystery surrounding him. Then I got to know Gentleman Edward, with his proper manners that are so out of place in today's world, but just make them that much more endearing, and the precise, perfect way in which he does absolutely everything. But in the end, it was MY Edward, with his beautiful spirit, the soul he denies even having, and the way he loved me, that made me love him - love YOU - forever."
Oh God, how was I going to say the rest to him?
Breathe, Bella, I told myself, and let it out.
"There's more, though. And this may shock you, but, Edward, I love you because you're not only my angel, you're also…an animal."
I felt his body stiffen next to mine, but I went on. "You crouch like the predator you are. You growl, you hiss, and that, my love, turns me on. The strength you could use to snap me in half, the deadly weapons hidden behind your beautiful lips, the primal thirst you fight constantly so you don't kill me … all of that turns me on. The nights you went hunting, the one thing you keep from me, I fantasized about it, and I was so aroused that I could not keep my hands still... Yes, I lust not only for the man, but for the mythical animal I've captured.
"Like a unicorn, you rested your head in my virginal lap, but the danger, the deadly horn, is still very much there. And it excites me."
I felt him relaxing. Maybe comparing him to a unicorn rather than an animal was better. I had to finish before my courage faltered, as I owed him the undiluted truth, all of it.
"What do you think happened to me the only night we made love, Edward? Do you think I regretted the bruises? Do you think I didn't realize you had bitten me?
"I did, my love, I did, and I almost came again in that moment. I was scared, I was elated, and I was aroused . And you didn't kill me. You couldn't kill me, because you love me too much. That night, my angel and my predator were together in my bed, and I relished both of them, because they're both part of who you are."
There. It was done. My own heart of darkness was laid bare, and there were no shameful secrets left. My head and shoulders felt very hot. Certainly, I was blushing fiery red. Had I said too much? Had I revolted him? He was, after all, very prude.
Cool lips kissed my neck. He was trembling, ever so slightly. Very gently, he turned me around, so that I was again facing him.
Edward
I looked into her eyes, and I could not find my voice. My beautiful, passionate Bella, how brave she was! I did not deserve her, but I would not deny her.
Not anymore.
I knew that I would not hurt her this time. She had given me the truth; she had allowed me into her mind. To know how absolutely she loved me, man and monster, was setting me free. Free of my self-hate, my doubts, my fears. I was no longer afraid of myself, because she wasn't scared of me, and nothing of me was disgusting for her.
Yes, violence is born from fear, and without fear I knew it could be kept at bay. My demons were retreating.
If I was her unicorn – how marvelous and apt the comparison was – then the deadly horn could be the instrument of our pleasure, not of pain or death.
Could a dead heart be full of joy? Could a stone body feel light as a feather?
Because she accepted me so unconditionally, the desperation that had been my constant companion was quickly evaporating, and I felt whole for the first time in my long life.
I took her burning face in my palms.
"My dear love, once again I have been a fool," I whispered "I'll be all yours tonight, if you'll have me."
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