Warning: slash, detailed sex, strong language, consensual underage sex with an adult.
Chapter one
Harry was lying on his bed, he could hear his uncle snoring loudly, he knew his aunt had walked past the door half an hour ago, ready to head to bed and Dudley was already in his room. He got up and put his ear to the door, when he didn't hear anything he slowly opened the door and looked out, nothing he thought. So he called Hedwig down and she landed on his arm, then he quietly stepped out, closing his door then made his way downstairs and picked the lock on the cupboard under the stairs. He grabbed his wand and cloak from inside his trunk, then headed outside.
'Take that straight to Sirius,' Harry said handing Hedwig a note, then let his owl fly off before putting the cloak over himself, then he moved down towards the end of the street and sat in the park to wait. He knew it would be at least fifteen to twenty minutes and knowing Sirius, he wouldn't take time knowing Harry was out of the house late at night and alone. He sat there staring around, waiting, thinking about what he needed to speak with Sirius about and wondered how he would feel. He didn't want anything to ruin their closeness, Sirius was the best thing that had ever happened to Harry. He looked around when he heard the sound of apparition, when he noticed Sirius was alone and looking around, Harry pulled off the cloak.
'Blimey Harry, what are you doing out here?' Sirius raced over, 'Are you okay?'
'Yes, I'm fine Sirius, but I really need to talk to you. Can we go to wherever you're staying?'
'Why, what's going on Harry?'
'There's just something I need to say, so can we?'
'Alright, I'll bring you back later, it's already late,' Sirius took Harry's arm then turned on the spot. They arrived in a small park, 'Here, read this, Albus got it ready for everyone, we all have one in case it's needed.'
'What is it?' Harry looked down at the note.
'Permission to get through the fidelius charm. We're using this old abandoned muggle place until we can work on a permanent place.'
Harry read the note then looked up and the small house appeared before him. He followed Sirius across the street and through the door.
'It's doesn't look very nice.'
'It'll do, now what's going on?'
'Is anyone else here?'
'No, Remus left earlier to do some work for the order. Harry, you're making me nervous here, what is going on?'
Harry slowly walked down the hall and saw a living room then stepped in but kept his back to Sirius.
'I've worked something out, well, I worked out a couple of things and I'm not sure what to do. You're the one person I know I can tell anything to.'
'Yes, you can tell me anything.'
'Let me explain first,' Harry took a deep breath, 'Lying in the hospital bed after what happened in the graveyard, not long after you left, then everyone else finally left, I couldn't sleep. Seeing the Cedric die, the graveyard, seeing him come back, almost dying, the pain,' Harry shuddered, 'I needed to get that out of my mind because I was so scared. So I started thinking about something, well, someone and something happened that's never happened before, I know it's been months, but I had to work a few things out.'
Sirius sighed in relief then stepped over to Harry then made him turn around to they were facing each other, but Harry was looking down.
'Something happened, you got turned on because you stared at someone, is that it, some girl, Hermione maybe?'
'No,' Harry's head came up, 'Hermione's just a friend, but no, not a girl,' Harry looked down again, 'Is something wrong with me?'
Sirius sighed again, then took Harry's hand and sat him down, 'No, there is nothing wrong with you, you're gay, that's normal.'
'But I've only seen men with woman, so why am I like this, dad wasn't gay, so how come I am?'
'It's not genetic or anything Harry, it's just the way some men are born. You've heard the stories from me and Remus about what I used to get up to at Hogwarts, well, that wasn't entirely true. We just met and I wasn't sure I should say anything because I wasn't sure how you would react.'
'I don't get what you mean Sirius.'
'I'm gay Harry, I never shagged any girls at Hogwarts, I shagged boys. First time was when I was fifteen, he was sixteen. You're dad and Remus knew, they kept it a secret because back then it wasn't really accepted, but it's getting there today, more people are accepting gay people. So you have nothing to be ashamed of, it's who you are, who we are.'
'Oh, so it's okay for me to…?' Harry shrugged.
'Yes, it is, you saw some bloke that you liked the look of and got a hard on, that's normal.'
'Sirius,' Harry blushed as he looked down, 'I never have before.'
'Because you never realised who you were attracted to before,' Sirius realised how little Harry knew about sex, relationships and life, those muggles never taught him anything except how to be cruel, Hogwarts has been full of Voldemort for Harry, he needs a parent or an adult he feels comfortable talking to, that's him. 'You went to the yule ball with a girl and I heard you wanted to go with a different girl, tell me about that.'
'Cho, I thought she was pretty, but I think it was because that's what I always saw and I knew Ron liked Hermione, Ginny always liked me, boy girl, so I went with it,' Harry slowly looked up, 'You had sex at fifteen, I just turned fifteen.'
'Yes, you heard how I was Harry, I did a lot just to upset my mother. Getting a letter from Dumbledore about me being found with a boy in a compromising position would have definitely upset her,' Sirius gazed at Harry for a minute, 'What else?'
Harry sighed, 'I told you how I feel, like I'm older, I don't feel fifteen, I feel more like fifty.'
'Yes you did and I get it Harry, with what you've had to put up from those muggles to everything you've been through at Hogwarts, now seeing him back, knowing he's going to come after you, well, after all of us, I feel like I've aged too.'
'Yeah,' Harry sighed, 'But ever since that night, when that happened,' Harry blushed, 'it's always happening. I just think of him and it happens.'
'Even though I really shouldn't say this, but I'd be a hypocrite to stop you since I did it. But if you keep getting turned on by this boy, then just do it Harry, you'll feel better, unless he's not gay.'
'He's gay, but,' Harry looked down again.
'But what, he doesn't like you, what, tell me?'
'I have no idea if he feels that way about me, but I don't think he does. It's because he's older, a lot older. I know why I'm attracted to someone his age, because I feel his age. He probably thinks I'm just a kid,' Harry shrugs but doesn't look up because he can feel his body heating up again and he didn't want to give himself away.
'How much older and please don't tell me it's Snape?'
'No, not Snape, but he's age,' Harry said quietly but he still wouldn't look up.
Sirius finally understood, 'Harry, you know I care about you, I love you, but you're my godson, my best friends son.'
'So, shouldn't this be how we feel, and nothing to do with my father.'
'Why, explain this to me then, why you're attracted to me and not someone else or someone more you're age even if you do feel older?'
'You don't treat me like everyone else, but it's more than that,' Harry sighed, 'I look at you, think of you and it's there, it's not something I can help or control,' Harry slowly looked up, 'You said that to me, remember, you can't help who you fall for.'
'No, you can't, but I really don't know what to say here Harry. Your fifteen, just turned fifteen, I'm twenty years older than you,' Sirius runs his fingers through his hair, 'I need to think about this Harry because the last thing I want to do is hurt you, in anyway.'
'I get that, this is a big decision.'
'Yes it is and something I can't just decide right now, I have to take everything into consideration. But I should get you back, it's late. Oh just so you know though, Albus thinks we'll be moving to a permanent place in a few days, I'll write and let you know.'
'Okay even though I want to stay here, I do get why I have to stay there.'
'Come on,' Sirius stands and waits for Harry, 'I'm glad you told me Harry, give me time, okay?'
'I will, but I needed you to understand, I also don't want anyone to know, about me, or how I feel about you.'
'No, we can't let anyone know about that, you're underage and Albus is trying everything to get my name cleared. But you don't have to be ashamed that you're gay Harry, it's who you are.'
'I know, but no, I don't want anyone to know. I get enough attention now and I'm always in the papers, it's just going to get worse now he's back. So please Sirius, keep it between us?'
'I will, you never have to worry, now come on, I better get you home.'
Harry and Sirius leave the house, Sirius apparates Harry back to Little Whinging, they hug, then Sirius watches as Harry puts the cloak over himself, disappearing. He stands there until he sees Harry wave before hurrying into the house. He has a lot of thinking to do, the last thing he wants to do is hurt Harry, he's been hurt enough.
Once again Harry is locked in his bedroom with only Hedwig as company. The Dursleys have all headed out to some garden award ceremony, something like that, not that Harry cared one way or another, he hated the lot of them. He was thinking about Fudge refusing to believe Dumbledore about Voldemort, he was thinking about the dementors that turned up and tried to suck out his soul and his cousins. Who sent them, Fudge or Voldemort, Harry had no idea, but after what he saw and heard in the cemetery he was scared and he'd only told Sirius that. He hadn't heard from Sirius yet, Harry hoped he would have, and he still couldn't get him out of his mind and that caused his body to react all the time, so much so that he'd started to relieve himself.
As Harry lay there he thought he heard something, then his door unlocked and opened. Harry grabbed his wand, which he hadn't put back, he needed it now and it made him feel better knowing it was always with him. He slowly made his way to the door, then looked out, he could just hear faint voices and wondered if the house was being robbed. He made his way to the top of the stairs and saw a heap of people, then he heard the familiar voice of Remus Lupin.
After proving they were each other, Remus introduced Harry to some of the order of the phoenix members before a young woman with bright pink hair helped him pack. He let Hedwig out of her cage before following everyone outside and they took off on brooms.
'Read this,' the gruff voice of Mad-eye Moody said thrusting a piece of parchment into his hands.
Harry read, 'The headquarters of the order of the phoenix is located at number 12 Grimmauld place,' Harry looked up and saw the large house materialise in front of them, then he was being hurried inside. The first person he spotted was Mrs. Weasley and then Sirius which made his heart lurch, but before he could go to him, Mrs. Weasley was hurrying him up the stairs to his friends, Hermione and Ron.
After all the weeks of not hearing a thing from anyone, now this, Harry was pissed off and he couldn't help showing it. After settling down, he spoke to Hermione and Ron about what was going on and who all the people were. Finally he was hearing some news, any news was good to Harry.
They were called down to dinner by Mrs. Weasley and the first thing Harry did was hug Sirius, then gave him a look and got one back which made Harry's body heat up, Sirius smirked then chuckled.
After dinner and with everyone trying not to tell Harry too much but Sirius wanted to, he takes Harry into a room with a large family tree. The moment the door closes, Sirius kisses Harry, very passionately, using his tongue making Harry groan which made him press his body against Sirius'.
'Easy Harry, nothing like that is going to happen. We can be together in secret, but no sex, you're too young and I could get into serious trouble if we get caught. I don't want to end up back in Azkaban.'
'We'll keep this secret Sirius, blimey I missed you though, why didn't you write? I've had no news about anything.'
'Albus, he believed it was best not to say anything in our letters, their being intercepted. But are you okay, after the dementors?'
'Yes, I wasn't, almost lost my soul. Do you know who sent them, does Dumbledore?'
'No, I think he has a suspicion, but he's not saying, probably because he wants proof.'
'Yeah, probably, but Sirius, when I head back to Hogwarts, I want to be able to see you. You're the only person that is making me feel better, I'm so scared but with you I'm not.'
'I'll be around, or Padfoot will be, so look out for him. I'm sure your friends will want to go with you when you're in Hogsmeade, so I will sneak into Hogwarts to see you. I'll be near the forbidden forest, so keep a look out for me.'
'I will, oh god Sirius,' Harry wrapped his arms around him, 'You make me feel safe, he's back, he wants to kill me.'
'I know, but I won't let him. It's late, you should head to bed.'
Harry stared into Sirius eyes, then their lips were joined in a very hot, wet and passionate kiss, both revelling in the feel of the other, both realising how much they did want the other and from then on, nothing was going to get in their way.
