New story! I'm excited for this one, and I hope you guys like.

Note- I'm planning on returning to The Optimist and the Mildly Misanthropic eventually when my writing skill improves. I don't know when exactly because-SURPRISE!- this story is going to be more than just fluff. There's going to be villains and dark magic and all that jazz. Anyway, this story's probably going to take a while.


Celia Kilmer's Word of the Day: Idiosyncratic

It sounds insulting, but it just means quirky. No one else has to know that, though, if you're ever in an argument and can't think of a good insult. Chances are your opponent won't know what it means, and you will emerge victorious.


I have a bit of an obsession with words. I blame my mum. She gave me a dictionary when I was eight. I read it out of sheer boredom at one point, and I swear, I haven't been the same since.

I still have the dictionary. Along with eight others. I keep them in a box with the rest of my valuables.

Kennedy claims stuff like that is why I can't get a boyfriend. Kennedy's slept with approximately all the boys in seventh year, and at least a few in sixth, so I assume she's knowledgeable about these sorts of things, and I should probably listen to her advice.

On the other hand, she's also the kind of bitchy person that will tell you that your logophilic tendencies are preventing you from getting a guy to your face, and her advice is to "dumb it down a little, sweetie", so fuck her.

See this is the thing about living with four other people. When you live with yourself, there's no one around to care if you take out a dictionary, flip to a random page, and memorize the coolest word there.

When you live with other people, things like that are weird, and you have to do them when those other people are asleep.

I bet if I was beautiful, no one would think I was a nerd. Or I'd be an endearing sort of nerd. It worked for Lily Evans. Wowee, I am bitter.

"Partyyyyy!" Genevieve yells as she jumps into my arms. Unfortunately, I'm not particularly strong, and she's not particularly light, so we both fall over.

"I literally just got out of the shower, Gen. I still have to get dressed, and put my books into my bag, and dry and brush my hair. Can we talk about parties later?" I say, picking myself up off the ground.

"I wanted to ambush you in the morning while you were sleepy and confused." She says without a hint of remorse. "When did you start taking showers in the morning?"

"It's just for today." I cross the room, and grab my uniform. "I woke up early."

"Of course, you just had to wake up early today." She grumbles. "The day I was planning to take advantage of your befuddled, pre-breakfast state."

I wrinkle my nose at her. "That makes it sound a lot more sinister than it actually is."

"Parties are very sinister." She says sagely. "But they're also lots of fun. Which is why you should come."

I groan. "Wait 'till breakfast at the very least, Gen."

"Fine." She says. "I'm waiting. This is me, waiting."

"Don't you have to get ready too?" I say, glancing at her pyjamas, and the haphazard jumble of hair at the nape of her neck.

She blinks. "Right." And then she's flown into the bathroom.

Everyone else in our dorm is still sleeping, and I debate waking them up. Last time I tried to wake them up, though, two of them had called me a bitch simultaneously, one of them had thrown a pillow at my head, and none of them had gotten up.

I decided I'd just let them be late to class.

By the time Gen and I left for breakfast, they were still sleeping.

Their loss.

I sit down at the Ravenclaw table, and Gen slides into the seat across mine, immediately starting to talk.

"I think you would have lots of fun. It's a chance for you to loosen up, y'know?"

I pile my plate up with food, while addressing her. "I think what you mean is that It's a chance for me to make sure you don't get too drunk to get back to the dorm, and then escorting you back when you inevitably do. I have absolutely no interest in being your Hogwarts equivalent of a designated driver."

"Well, then you get drunk too!" She says. "Talk to people for once!"

"I talk to people!"

"Only when you have to! Broaden your horizons, Celia!"

"I don't want to! I'm perfectly happy with the amount of people I talk to now, so why don't you just take your broad horizons and shove them up your-"

"Excuse me." Someone interrupts my rant.

I look around scowling, and blink when I see Sirius Black standing there.

"I'd appreciate it if you moved seats so I could sit with my girlfriend." He continues.

Blink.

I feel like he's trying to communicate some hidden message with his eyes. I'm bad with hidden messages.

Blink.

"Right now." He says, sounding a little frustrated. There is definitely something he's trying to tell me.

Blink.

Then I look down to make sure I haven't accidentally sat down at the Gryffindor table again. I haven't. What is he talking about? I look back up at him.

There! A small, almost imperceptible shake of his head. He widens his eyes slightly for extra emphasis. Nice.

I'm guessing he doesn't want me to move, but I want to be sure. I pointedly look under the table, and his gaze follows mine. I point at myself, then at an empty seat, about three seats down. I look back up at him and give the slightest raise of an eyebrow.

His head shakes again.

A small part of me is dying with excitement right now. It's like being a spy, with super secret messages, and almost indiscernible hand gestures. The name's Kilmer. Celia Kilmer.

"Sorry, this is my seat." I say to him apologetically. His whole body relaxes. Relieved sigh in 3, 2, 1… He doesn't give a relieved sigh. Lame.

"I don't see your name on it." The girl beside me has decided to offer her opinion. Oh joy. I scramble to remember her name. Eva Taylor. Seventh year. Ravenclaw. Probably his aforementioned girlfriend.

"That's because I'm sitting on it." I say to her. I shift over a little, so they can see my name sloppily carved into the wooden chair (a result of a phase I went through in first year when I just had to have my name on everything). "It's right there, see?"

"I see." Black says, the corners of his mouth twitching as he turns to Taylor. "Sorry love, guess I can't eat breakfast with you today. Maybe some other time?"

He doesn't give her a chance to reply, opting instead to practically sprint back to the Gryffindor table, leaving me with his angry girlfriend.

She glares at me but, thankfully, she doesn't say anything. I'm not good with confrontation. I prefer to insult people in my head, where they don't insult me back.

Gen quirks an eyebrow at me. Refusing to switch seats isn't like me. Not because I'm too nice or shy to refuse, but because I just don't see the point. There was a seat right beside her, so I could've moved. She knows something's up. I shrug, look at Taylor beside me, and mouth the words 'I'll tell you later'.


Defense Against the Dark Arts is regarded as a fun subject by many. Not by me. Though, if I'm being honest, that's probably because I'm not very good at it. Is that petty? Yes. What can I say? I like things I'm good at. I like to succeed.

There's a new Defense teacher again this year, and he reminds me of Einstein. Or what I imagine Einstein to have been like. He's certainly got the hair to pull it off. It's a magnificent, white, gravity defying, jumble of hair. And his mustache! I aspire to someday command the same amount of attention and respect as that mustache.

He sits down at the desk and regards us all with a somber expression.

After a while he speaks up. "Right. So… we'll start with roll call, and then… we'll see what you lot know…" He has a lackadaisical, unhurried way of speaking that makes me grit my teeth.

I speak fast. It's not a conscious decision, I just do. So when people speak at a normal speed, it seems slow to me. And when people speak slowly, it makes me want to scream at them to just get on with it. It's not fair. They can't help that they speak slowly, just like I can't help that I speak fast. My hatred of slow speakers is completely illogical and I know it. That doesn't make me feel any better, but I am aware.

Professor Einstein- I start to turn to ask Gen for his real name, but then remember that Gen isn't in this class and that I am a loner sitting by myself in a two person desk- starts to take roll call, and I can feel my right eye start to twitch.

A hand taps my shoulder, and a girl's voice whispers "Are you alright? Your eye is twitching."

I nod without looking up.

"Are you sure?" The girl presses.

Somewhere in the background, the professor starts to take his time to pronounce a particularly long name, and my eye starts to twitch faster.

"It's moving faster." The girl provides helpfully.

I look up and meet the concerned gaze of one Lily Evans who, to my surprise, is also sitting alone. Smiling as politely as I can, I assure her that I am perfectly alright.

"Marly's eye twitches sometimes too. Mostly when she has to deal with her idiot ex-boyfriend. Here." And before I can protest, she has moved to sit next to me, her hand is covering my eye and her fingers are pressing down in a few seemingly random places. When she takes her hand away, my eye is perfectly still.

My mouth drops open. She wiggles her fingers and grins. 'Magic!"

I can't help but grin back. "Thanks."

"So, what's your name?" She asks.

I open my mouth to answer, but Wizarding Einstein beats me to it. "Kilmer, Celia." He drawls.

"Present." I say, before turning back to Lily.

Her eyes widen and so does her grin. "Aren't you the Wilkes Walkout girl, from back in fifth year?"

I wince. "I try not to think about it."

"Why not?" A new voice says from behind me. I turn to see a messy haired, bespectacled boy looking at me with an expression of shock. "You were my hero."

Everyone knows James Potter because of the many, many bets placed on when he and Lily would get together. They still haven't, but they have moved from hatred (on Lily's part) to friendship, which most people take as a good sign.

Beside him is Sirius Black. Everyone knows him because of the many, many, howlers he receives from his bitchy relatives, and because of his womanizer reputation.

Seated at the table beside them is Remus Lupin who everyone knows because he is the most sarcastic little shit to ever set foot in Hogwarts.

Next to him, is Peter Pettigrew, who everyone knows because he associates with the rest of them, which is sad, but true.

Together the four of them make the Marauders (still not entirely sure how or when they got that name) and they're four times as well known. One time they made it snow in the Great Hall in May. When everyone showed up for lunch, the four of them were knee deep in snow, having a snowball fight. The snow was cold, it didn't melt, it felt like snow, it tasted like snow (according to reports, I personally didn't try it), and the teachers couldn't get rid of it. Or maybe they didn't want to. I'm pretty sure I saw McGonagall discreetly throw a snowball at Dumbledore so…

Anyway, it was pretty great. My point is, these people were very popular, and I was very confused as to why they were talking to me, because despite my fifteen minutes of fame during the Wilkes Walkout incident, I am not even close to popular.

It's that exact moment that I zone back in, only to hear Potter say "Kilmer, who do you think's right?"

Panic.

"It's alright, Celia, just give us your honest opinion." Lily says, kindly, but completely misunderstanding my wide eyed stare.

"Um." I say.

Thankfully I'm saved from saying anything by Professor Einstein, who tells us to pick a partner with a gleam in his eye that only exaggerated his resemblance to a mad scientist.

"In your pairs," he says, "pick a Partner 1 and a Partner 2. Then find a place to duel. Partner 1 will attack, Partner 2 will one of you loses, you can switch. You will start when I say start, and not a moment sooner. You are not allowed to do anything painful or anything that will be painful and/or difficult to reverse. Other than that, no limitations."

I'm about to look around desperately for a partner when Lily grabs my arm. "Partners?" She says cheerfully.

I nod.

"I partnered with Marlene until fifth year, but she chose Care of Magical Creatures instead." She chatters happily, as we find a secluded corner. "In sixth I partnered with Ellen Patsky but ever since that practice duel we had last year, I think she's been avoiding me."

I don't get a lot of time to focus on that rather alarming statement, because in that same cheerful tone she says, "I'll be Partner 1, alright?"

I nod, and pull out my wand, distracted by the extreme determination that takes over the formerly grinning face as she takes hers out.

Einstein Professor says start, and Lily's eyes narrow.

She attacks.


Please review. It makes me so happy. Tell me what you think! About the characters, about the plot, about my grammar, just throw it at me!

(But please don't be mean)