Title: Services

Genre: Romance/Humour

Rating: MA for sexual themes

Summary: Picture this, a noticeboard, and in the middle, there is a stack of business cards. Anyone can take one of these cards, except for those under 15, and over 60 years of age, because they are either too young, or too old to have sex.

Picture this, a noticeboard, and in the middle, there is a stack of business cards. Anyone can take one of these cards, except for those under 15, and over 60 years of age, because they are either too young, or too old to have sex.

And look, here comes a 5th year Ravenclaw girl now. She takes a card, Want a good time? Contact Ron Weasley. This strapping young lad can be found in the Gryffindor Common Room, the kitchens, or you could just owl him telling him where to meet you. ;).

"Ron Weasley? Gross!" And so the card is flung aside.


"I had a great night last night!" A Ravenclaw 7th year told her friends in their respective Common Room. "Dean Thomas is great in the sack!"

"How did you bed Dean?" The 5th year girl from earlier asked.

"By those cards on all the noticeboards, the kind I told you to get one of." The 7th year said rolling her eyes.

"But it said Ron Weasley!"

"He sets you up with Harry, Dean, Seamus or Neville."

"Oh…"


Meanwhile, Ron Weasley was sitting in his dormitory flicking through the appointment cards, organizing the boys' schedule for the weekend, also known as tomorrow.

"Dean, you're getting up at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning mate, Lavender needs a wake-up call. Seamus, you're lucky, you can sleep till midday, when Hannah Abbott wants a comfy screw at 1." Ron said to the anxiously waiting four.

"Damn, I wanted Lavender!" Seamus said, "I heard she puts out well."

"Luck mate, luck." Dean grinned.

"Okay, Neville, you're getting a 3 p.mer, Luna Lovegood… You might be there for a while… Or so I've heard."

"Or found out yourself, ay Ron?" Harry laughed making Ron's ears go red.

"Harry, you have Ginn– WHAT? MY SISTER! Oh no, no, no, no, you're NOT gunna sleep with my sister!" Ron shouted, Dean giggles, Neville does too, and Seamus just bursts out laughing, while Ron and Harry look at each other stunned.

"But think about it, Ron…" Giggle, "Wouldn't you rather-" Another giggle, "Her sleeping with your best mate, rather than some random?"

"Harry! Tomorrow, 6 p.m. you're fucking my sister!"

"Whatever…" Harry says diving under the covers of his bed so his dorm mates wouldn't see his red face. Ginny wasn't the one he wanted… It was –

"Harry! C'mon, we're going to dinner!" Seamus called opening the door. Harry calmed himself and joined his workmates/friends.


A/N okay, that's the first chapter of this wonderful sex story, Sevices. We, the writers of this just thought we'd tell you, there are two of us, as our name suggests, we hope you enjoy our stories.