Practical Jokes
It was Sanzo's birthday and, from the guidance of Hakkai they decided to throw him a party. After many drinks Gojyo was rather tipsy and decided to do something quite mean. Shortly later Hakkai dragged him out shopping leaving Sanzo and Goku alone in the inn.
After finishing his beer, Sanzo decreed that clothes were very restricting. He pulled them off yelling "Freedom" and threw them at Goku.
Now wearing only his underwear, his favourite song began to play on the radio so he put his underwear on his head and started to dance.
Goku's eyes opened wide and he asked "What the hell is that!" pointing at a dark patch on Sanzo's upper leg.
The dark patch was at the back of Sanzo's leg, and so, while trying to see what the monkey was talking about, he turned several times before falling flat on his backside. And that was when he got a clear view of the patch.
"Oh, that" Sanzo giggled before explaining, "It's a birthmark". Suddenly, the music changed and became slow. A love song.
Clumsily, Sanzo stood up. When he looked at Goku, the monkey was taken aback by his expression.
"Get on the bed, monkey" Sanzo's voice was husky.
"Uh, Sanzo? Are you okay?" All he got for an answer was Sanzo's lips on his own.
After pushing the blonde man away slightly, Goku looked at him. "Uh, Sanzo, you're, uh, a little, uh" Goku tried to get a point through,. Words failing him, the monkey held up Sanzo's discarded robes.
Sanzo swatted the robes away. "take your pants off."
"What?"
"-Sigh- for a cutie, your not all that bright." If it were not for the words he was saying, he would have sounded almost back to normal. "Now take off your pants."
Hakkai and Gojyo chose this moment to enter the room. "Oh my" was Hakkai's reaction, while Gojyo just stood there, his mouth open in shock.
"Shit. When I spiked his drink, I didn't think he'd react like this."
Hakkai disapprovingly looked at his companion. "You spiked his drink?"
"He needed to lighten up." The reply was said with a shrug.
"Hey, you guys, help!" Goku called from the bed. Shying away from an advancing (naked) Sanzo, Goku quickly ran out of room to run. Backing up against the wall, he called out desperately. "Hakkai! Gojyo! What the hell's wrong with him?"
To which Sanzo replied, "My dear sweet monkey, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I just wanna explore you."
This caused the monkey boy to go very red indeed. "Sanzo, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Ch, can't you take a hint? Alright, I'll spell it out for you. I'm incredibly horney and I want you!" the priest moved closer.
"Okay!" Goku said with a grin. "But first you gotta tell me what that means!"
"Oh boy." Gojyo said from the door, a hand over his face. "I'm gonna get blamed for this."
"It means," Sanzo said slowly, "that I wanna screw you."
Goku visibly gulped. "Uh Sanzo," Hakkai began. "I don't think this is the time or the place."
Sanzo pouted. "But I wanna screw the monkey."
Hakkai didn't seem too surprised. "Some other time perhaps." Sanzo turned to face Goku.
"Will you wait for me?" Hakkai (thankfully) led Sanzo away before the boy had to answer.
"So… you and Sanzo, huh?"
"Shaddup, ya damn water sprite!"
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THE NEXT MORNING
"My ass hurts!" Goku called as he entered the dining room causing Gojyo to look at him strangely. Sanzo just kept his head on the table and groaned.
"I told you not to say anything about that."
"But Sanzo, did you have to be so rough?"
Sanzo groaned again. He lifted his head in time to get splattered with the food Gojyo had spat out at Goku's last remark. Grimacing, the monk wiped his face. A cup was placed in front of him.
"A hangover remedy." Hakkai explained. Sanzo gratefully accepted the drink.
After they had all eaten , Sanzo stood and walked to the door. "Let's go."
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ON THE ROAD
"So, what did you two get up to last night. I heard from someone that our corrupt monk sneaked back into your room last night." Gojyo was bored and wanted to tease the monkey.
"Nothing." The boy was being unusually quiet.
"No really. I wanna know."
"Nothing happened. Can you shut up for a while, I'm trying to think."
"Well that must be hard. Considering the size of that monkey brain of yours."
"…" Goku stayed silent, not taking the bait.
"Okay, I'll give. What're you trying to think about?"
"Well, last night, Sanzo told me to keep my mouth shut about what we did." Goku blushed at the way the priest did so. 'Hey, sweet-mouth. Tell anyone 'bout thins and I'll have to bite your tongue off. On second thought, tell anyone you want, that way I get to taste you again.' "And this morning, he remembered that. If he was so drunk to make me play- uh to make me do what we did, shouldn't he have not remembered? It got me thinking, maybe he wasn't that drunk, or even drunk at - ugh!" Damn that paper fan!
"Baka." Sanzo muttered as he returned to his seat.
"You know," Gojyo said loud enough for them all to hear. "the monkey has a point. Were you drunk or just trying to get into his pants?" Goku coloured slightly at this. Sanzo just stayed quiet.
Some time later, when the others were squabbling, Hakkai turned to Sanzo. "You can tell me. Were you drunk?"
Something told the monk that the brunette already knew the answer. Well he thought to himself as he shook his head slightly no point in lying.
