Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a host. They're all friends there... They have fun, play games, charm girls. Charming girls... I wish I could do that. But I'm not in America anymore... They'd find it weird.
I watch from my quiet table. No, not really quiet... Mori and Honey always attract a crowd. But I'm in my own quiet world, an observer of this perfect land. Where sometimes, they're in a rainforest and others in a hot Egyptian tomb.
The other girls find me odd. I can tell. Most likely because I don't respond to the boys as easily, not nearly as excited as them. Their eyes linger as we exit the room and head to our classes. Let them stare, wonder. I don't care about strangers' opinions.
I often wonder about Haruhi... There's something off about him. He's sweet, understands girls. It's like he is a girl. But that's silly... He's a host. Hosts are guys. It's silly to search for other crossdressers in a crowd of normal people. I'm the oddity, I shouldn't drag others into it.
Maybe the reason the girls find me odd is because I dress like a guy. They should be used to it by now... I'm already the weird one. The American transfer, all the way from the Bay State. I'm nothing like them, I'm an oddity.
Again, I enter music room three, even though I know I won't be thrilled. I don't know why I always end up here... I just enjoy hearing conversation, I guess. I used to contribute to the idle banter, but after awhile I got tired of the surprised blinks as I was noticed. More stares as they notice my odd attire.
Today, I take a risk and sit at Kyoya's table. He looks up at me and I glance away. I don't blush, I never blush, but I do fell awkward.
"Would it be ok if I sat here? I just like watching the events, not being in them."
He smiles... no, smirks at my question and nods, causing me to let out a silent sigh of relief. I watched the girls giggle at the boys, their eyes twinkling and dresses shaking. The scene is captivating and exciting. I have no part in it, but it energizes me all the same.
Life is beautiful.
Kyoya looks up from his laptop again.
"Why do you wear the boys uniform?"
"Because dresses are uncomfortable. You have to cross your legs when you sit and you can't walk down stairs easily." I answer smoothly, amused smile slipping onto my face. "And I'm not used to them either. I've never had to wear dresses before. Girls don't take you seriously in a dress. It makes it hard to get any attention if you don't stick out."
Kyoya nods, mulling my answer, I guess.
"So you're the American exchange student, I assume. Katie-san."
"Just Katie." It slips out before I think. I actually blush this time and glance down at my feet. Kyoya chuckles, and murmurs my name without a Japanese honorific. I glance back up and smile sheepishly.
"Sorry if that was rude, Kyoya... san." I stammer, quickly fixing my American slip ups. "Damn honorifics." I add quietly, chuckling softly. I hear a keyboard clacking and I see that Kyoya has returned to his computer. I look up at the ceiling, rolling back my shoulders and throwing out my chest. I grunt as my bones crack and I return to my normal position, cracking my fingers and wrists.
I glance at the other tables. They bustle with life and excitement. Lucky them. They fit in and are happy with friends. I'm alone... but I don't mind.
I sneak a look at Kyoya and he looks up at me. I lift a petite teacup I took from Tamaki's table, and giggle, muttering "To friendship."
He looks at me for a long moment, and continues typing. I frown for a second, until he says "Why not. Friends it is."
