Hi, this is my first fic. I apologize in advance for what you are about to read. It's a document I've been storing for a while, and I decided I was finally going to post it. I've been on FF for a while, and just sort of derped around on reviews and everything... I beg of you Reader-sama, go light on my delicate feelings.

XOXO,

Kanako

Oh yeah, if I owned SnK, our dear Corporal's shirts would have accidentally been eaten by a Titan, leaving him only with a cravat.


Admiral Irina Borscht. She was young, but had flown up the ranks with ease. Unlike the rest of the Scouting Legion, she was rarely in the public eye, and when she was, covered herself in a royal blue cloak with the wings of freedom, earning her the reputation as the mysterious Lady Blue. She would hand out her food to the people, and stop in town to kiss the children. All the while, her face hidden by the shadow of the cloak. People said she was beautiful, and they were right. Without the cloak, she had brown waves of hair, falling to the bottom of her chest strap. Her eyes were the color of brandy, and they twinkled when she smiled. On the rare occurrences she was seen, it gave hope to the people. She was fabled to be the guardian angel that kept the Scouting Legion safe. Not much was known about her, but the word was that she could hold her own against me, Lance Corporal Rivaille.

I look down at her coma-like state on my bed. She was thinking, and it mentally exhausted her. Thousands of numbers and figures could run through her head at the same time, as well as scenarios and strategies. When she sat down and thought, it was like an army of the best strategists. However, she would end up on my bed, her boots and straps on the floor, ankles crossed, and her hands clasped delicately on her chest. She rarely moved, her breathing immune to the naked eye. I would check her pulse sometimes to reassure myself. I was looking over reports that needed my signature. Her hand reaches out and rests on my knee, igniting the skin that lay below the white fabric. I abandon paperwork and hold myself above her. We had been keeping the relationship a secret for so long, we barely remembered how to come onto each other anymore. I give her a gentle kiss, before planting heated kisses on her jaw.
"Rivaille..." She breathes quietly. I move back to her soft lips, taking the angelic sound of her voice as a cue.
"Rivaille, I was thinking." She complains, sitting up.
"Think later." I reply simply.
"The mission coming up is big. I need to figure out a route." She says, pulling her hair into its usual ponytail. I push away impure thoughts as she puts her maneuverability straps back on.
"Hanji wants some nice specimens this time, so I want to plan the best strategy to get her some, as well as investigate that supposed oasis.
"Let her figure it out." I respond, brushing a strand of her almond waves out of her face.
"This is my job Rivaille." She smiles.
"I'm here because Generalissimo Zacklay brought me here. I can't disappoint my father can I?" It was a closely guarded fact that Irina was actually from an exterior district, and Zacklay took her in when she was young because her parents were killed by Titans, and she managed to survive the onslaught as a young child. Irina's only memories of her parents was her mother giving her a silver necklace with an infinity sign, and her father giving her a gold anchor bracelet with blue woven thread. The necklace and bracelet were worth a fortune due to the precious metals, yet Irina always wore them under her uniform. The infinity was her unbounded strength and endless will she claimed. Her father always wanted her to see the salty oceans, so he turned an heirloom into a bracelet. The necklace however, was from before the rule of the Titans.

"Lady Blue! Keep our soldiers safe please!" A lady pushes to the front, pleading. While my admirers were vast, the most noticeable were the young women that threw their admiration at me. "Guard them from the Titans!"
"I try my hardest." She says quietly. "Please know, even an angel's powers are limited. I will not make a promise I cannot keep."
"Thank you Lady Blue." She sobs. Irina nods, proceeding to kiss a child that was held up to her before joining me at the gate.
"Vanquish the Titans Lance Corporal!" A man shouts.
"Don't let harm come to the Lance Corporal Lady Blue!"
"Vanquish the Titans Rivaille darling." She whispers quietly.
"Don't let any harm come to me then." I say flatly, rushing out of the gates. As we ride, I watch as she breaks off to her position, flicking back her hood and letting go of the reins to tie up her hair. She gives me a small smile before falling into her formation.

"We have to survive the town before we get to the open land. I have a clear idea where the oasis might be, and some prime sampling locations for you Hanji."
"I love you Irina!" Hanji says, giving her a hug. I stiffen under my cloak with jealousy. I don't know why, they are the best of friends and have physical contact quite a bit.
"Love ya too."
"Don't let daddy hear that. If you two are done, let's get with the mission."

"As you all know, Admiral Borscht will be commanding the formation today. Her word is law on this excursion." Commander Erwin says. Somewhere along the lines, Irina had changed into a normal Scouting Legion cloak and the only hint of blue was her hair tie. Her attitude has completely changed from the angelic persona she takes on in front of the public. She was Admiral Irina Borscht, a savior to mankind.
"I expect you all to stay sharp, got it? Those who don't will end up dead. I'm not going to sugar coat it. But remember, you joined this Legion to conquer the Titans. Finding suitable living conditions outside the walls is a first step. Offer your heart to the King." She commands, pausing as the soldiers salute. She salutes with them, continuing to speak.
"Offer it to the heaven and earth. Heavens to protect you, and the earth to nurture the bold sacrifice you make for your race. Offer your heart to the protections of your loved ones, and offer your trust to me, ensuring the safety of your travels. In exchange, I offer you my complete dedication, and a bright future to all of Humankind!"
"Yes ma'am!" They shout. I see some close to tears at her speech. It's like every excursion, Irina inspires the troops before she leads them.

"Wow, the samples we have are so amazing!" Hanji squeals. "That oasis is so beautiful Irina!"
"I thought so. If the oasis was a place humans would like to live, Titans gathered there too. A watering hole of sorts."
"You are so perfect Irina! Pretty, strong, and smart!"
"I'm not that great." I laugh.
"You even eat with the cadets!"
"If I put myself so above them to not eat with them, how can they entrust their lives to me?"

Irina plants a light kiss on my lips as she untucks and unties my cravat.
"You worried me when you went after that abnormal."
"You knew that I could take it."
"If I jumped off my horse in Titan territory to protect you from a 20 meter class that was clearly your jurisdiction, would you get worried?" I don't have a response, and she runs her fingers through my hair.
"Exactly. Don't let emotions get ahead of you."
"It was in my territory."
"Was not." She giggles, slipping off my shirt to reveal all of my scars, as well as my toned physique. "If you were to hurt yourself needlessly, I don't know what I would do with myself."
"You take every death personally." I say, my biceps springing to attention as her hands runs over them. My hands stay put at her waist as she speaks, holding her close to me.
"They entrust me with their safety." She whispers.
"You cannot overvalue, or undervalue human life and sacrifice."
"There is no value on something so priceless."
"You think with your heart most of the time."
"Then Rivaille, what is the value of my life?" She asks, running her hands up my neck, cupping my face in her palms.

"Oh come on! You're the only woman alive that's short enough for him!" Hanji teases as they supervise the newbies training.
"Hush! I'm 152cm!" I stalk up to them, anger radiating off of me in waves.
"My office. Now." I snarl. Irina looks around at the cadets, some of which who stopped to see what was going to happen next.
"Lance Corporal, I am your superior officer. Was that a request, or an order?"
"Admiral Borscht, requesting your presence in my office." I growl, trying hard not to beat something to a pulp.
"I'll be there in shortly Lance Corporal. And I'll overlook your disordinance too. Cadets, you are dismissed for the evening."

"The Shiganshina district?! Did you just forget to mention you were reassigned?!"
"They are a prime location for a Titan attack. I have to give them hope. While many are complacent, others are beginning to think an attack is going to happen soon. We need the faith of the people."
"They don't need you to go there."
"It's only two years."
"Have some lowly cadet go."
"Is that really going to assure the masses?" She asks, pursing her soft lips.
"You can't go."
"And why not love?"
"You can't."
"I can. And no way would I give up Lance Corporal Rivaille for some civilian if that's your fear. If your worried for my safety, you know why you shouldn't be. Petra is coming along with me anyways, even more so why you shouldn't be worried."
"That's not the point. You just don't get it."
"Then what is? Enlighten me. I don't care if you are Mankind's Savior, and I don't care how many you have killed! I can care for myself too! I'm not a helpless little kitten!" She says, her voice rising in hysterics. "You don't own me. I'm going to miss you, but that doesn't change the orders."
"Don't you dare leave me to fight alone!" I shout, throwing a thick book against the wall. Her eyes widen at my lapse of character.
"Rivaille..."
"When we first met, I asked you what your fear was! It was fighting with no purpose! Don't you dare leave me without my purpose!" Tears stream down her face as she looks at me with wide eyes. She can hold her own against me, but nobody can once I'm angry.
"Then fight for me to come back." She says, leaving my office.

I watch without a word as she and her right hand, Petra leave on their journey. Cadets beg to go with her, and her squad members salute her stiffly. It was always like this when she left. Our eyes meet briefly and she gives me a small smile. It was her true goodbye.


~Year 855~
I run along the rooftops slaying stray Titans, scanning for her almond toned hair. I see Petra on a rooftop, and quickly join her, a pit of fear in my chest as I see her holding a towel to a deep wound. Tears are streaming down her squad member's face as her commander's blood oozes over her hands.
"Report."
"There was this Titan... it could look over the wall. It didn't have skin either. It kicked down the gate and let in an army of Titans. Captain Irina helped as many as she could escape, slaying Titans as she made her way across the town. She was aiming to kill the large one. It grabbed her as she made her descent for the kill. It was like she was an annoying fly! I-It flung her all the way across town into the opposite wall. I tried to stop her momentum... I-I can't stop the bleeding sir! I really can't!" She sobs.
"I'll meet you back at the wall. Calm yourself." I command, and Petra speeds off, tears falling behind her. Irina cracks open her eyes and looks at me. She reaches up to touch my face, before seeing her blood covered hand. Her hand falls back down to the rooftop with a thud. She knew I hated germs. I grab her bloodstained hand and press it to my cheek.
"Rivaille..." She says quietly through labored breaths.
"Don't leave me here alone." I growl.
"You'll be alright. 20 less Titans can harm you."
"That wasn't your job."
"Just close your eyes. I'll always be there, your Lady in Blue."
"I won't let you go." She shakes her head slightly.
"I'm sorry. I said things I shouldn't have when I left."
"It's unimportant." She struggles to take off her bracelet and necklace, placing them in my hands.
"Infinite strength. Vanquish the Titans Rivaille."
"Losing you!" I shout. "You asked me what my fear was when you told me yours and I never told you. My fear is losing you Irina!"
"I'm sorry Rivaille." She says and her eyes glaze over, her hand dropping from my cheek.
"Damn it Irina!" A few hot tears escape my eyes and fall onto her corpse. It was the first time I ever cried, and definitely my last. I'm going to kill those bastards.

I look over the possible cadets as Commander gives his speech. Petra had joined my squad after that day. I look into each of their eyes. I can tell who would stay and who would leave. Eren Yeagar, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Artlet, and Reiner Braun just to name a few that would stay. Train them like dogs so that one day, every single Titan will be dead.