Emily and Hannah present: Leather and Stupid: The "Best" Story Never Written

Warning: Reading this will destroy your remaining brain cells. All your brain cells are belong to us!

Additional Warnings: Prolonged exposure to Leather and Stupid can lead to tiredness, dizziness, pointlessness, rabies, brain hemorrhaging, change in hair texture, severe depression, death, excessive use of dialog tags, and Corgis. In extreme cases, it can also lead to the urge to write your own little work of fan fiction. Please resist this urge at all costs. Thank you, and enjoy.

CH 1: Please respect the Leash lAws they are very important

Warning: warning: doesn't involve leashes or laws but wait... theres probably wizard laws and wizards might like walk their lizards on leashes or something...me myself and I only walk the dogs on the leashes but you know other so cites have different things that are walked on leashes like.

Charcoal Costington was 6 feet tall. He had twinkly blue eyes that lit up the room. Well most of the time they lit up the room. Sometimes they didn't, but that was very rare and is not the point. He mostly wears dark pants most of the time. They are kinda skinnyish but not so skinny that was like ewe those are too skinny! He's a wizard too he goes to Hogwarts and he's in Slytherin and that's super sexy! His hair is of the raven black variety. It glimmered in sunlight to showcase it's truly glory upon the horizon of all things sexy. He didn't dye his hair it was just super perfect and ego and sexy and he did the floppy thing with it sometimes since he is full of evil and magic and angst. Also, he is badass. His lip is pierced on his left side, and the lip ring is sliver. He wore a small amount of guyliner, which totally worked for him. It didn't look gay or anything! In fact it looked super sexii. His wand was very dark to symbolize that he is evil. His robes are green and stuff, since he is in Slytherin and likes snakes and he can speak Parselytongue. Also he wears the dark mark. That means he is a Death Eater. Duh.

His parents are both Purebloods. He is a Pureblood. Though he only lives with one parent. His mother. His dad was a Pureblood, but the good wizards killed him with a killing curse. His dad hanged hiself after the killing curse was put upon him. He knows how to cast Avada Kedavra but him only did it to animals not people he hasn't had a chance to use it on a person yet. He really wants to but then Dumbledore or someone would notice and he'd go to wizard jail. That is bad there is Demeanors there. Voldemort doesn't know that yet or something. THEY DIDN'T ALL LEAVE TO JOIN HIM KAY?

Charcoal was going to class in his sixth year after being placed in the sorting hat. Every year he puts it on and it says Slytherin they just have to be sure but he is always evil so it never changes to Gryffindor or something. He is evil because he knows all 3 forgivable curses and the 3 unforgiveables as well. He also knows 3 that are sometimes forgivable and sometimes not. They are known as the 12 forgiveables since he is evil so he thinks the unforgiveable curses are definitely forgivable.

Before he went to class Charcoal had to put his clothes on. This is a very complicated process since he is so sexy. First he put on his pants, then next he first put on his boxers which were black. The boxers had a green shiny snake on it. The boxers covered amazing things underneath. The pants were normal wizard black pants. He put on his robe. He didn't wear a shirt under his robe since he gets really hot in class because he is badass. I mean, he's always hot but this is a different kind of hot we're talking about. We're talking about the hot like panting hot not the hot like sexy hot. He also has a cool scar on his face kind of like Harry Potter only cooler. His scar goes across one eye vertical and the other horizontal. If you look at them you can see the reason for his madness. This is an angsty moment, you should feel agnst now. Also he can be a dog like Sirius but evil but it's a wolf kind of like a werewolf but since he is an am magus he can be it whenever he wants. Also he doesn't wear a leash because he is a wolf and also a person and that's just really stupid. Plus when he turns into a wolf clothes don't stay on him. Isn't that sexy?

Charcoal was going to Potions, who was taught by Snape. Charcoal wasn't that great at potions, but he still got great grades. None of his grades were bad since for the most part he is part smart. However being a Death Eater was difficult and he had to hide it from the professors. Being a Death Eater was cool, however. It made lots of girls like him even though he didn't notice, he cared too much about his duties as a Death Eater. He was too emo and badass to be into girls. He's not gay or anything, he like appreciates the female body and all, but like he just doesn't want a girlfriend distracting him, yam know? He hoped for a friendly female to join the Death Eaters, but right now there was only Bellatrix Estrange (Atusz note- yah I like notd ers more but I dunno deyz namez like gilr or somefin) and she made him uncomfortable with things. Like this one time she was eating a pear and didn't share. She was just plane rood! He sat down in potions in his seat. He looked at his partner. "Hey, I'm Charcoal Costington," he said with mild interest and boredom.