This is a re-upload of a chapter from my now deleted story, A Nonsensical Compilation of Unrelated Narratives. I've decided to go for a more "organized" (In a way.) route. And thus, am re-uploading (and revising.) the chapters separately.
Anyways, this particular one-shot focuses on Pete trying to entertain the Disney Council of Villains with a little one-man show based on his Captain Justice persona. Enjoy.
Captain Justice's Quest for Peace II: Electric Pete-aloo
"In a land before time..." said Pete's voice, trying to imitate that of an action movie trailer narrator.
"In a a galaxy, far far away...There lived a hero. A hero that would save us all...From an evil demonic being!" his audience could be heard sighing in disbelief.
The big burly cat jumped onto the stage. It was a one-man show after all. He had to play every part, "And that man is, Captain Justice! This is the epic, enchanting story of Captain Justice!" with that, colorful confetti shot out of the cannons placed at the edge of the stage.
A curtain dropped. And the scene ended. Within what seemed to be a few seconds, the curtain retreated back to it's original position. A new scene was revealed. Pete, in his Captain Justice get up. Was sitting down watching what was presumably, a soap opera.
The cat grabbed a microphone and attempted to hide it from the audience. But to no avail. He murmured what was going on, "We meet our hero, Captain Justice. As he observes his...err...World Problem Monitor Detect-O-Tron Thingy! Y-yeah, that's it!"
"Oh Janice, I'll never leave you!" said a man from the television that was on. The audience could be heard sighing, "Oh Lance! I love you so much! You make me feel like a young boy again!" said a woman from the television. Kissing noises could be heard if one sat in the audience.
"...Say what?" said the man as Pete abruptly turned it off right then there. It was interrupting the play, "Anyways, Captain Justice suddenly got a distress call! He checked who it was on his World Distress Communication Device!" said Pete as he murmured into the obviously visible microphone once more. The burly cat messed around with what was clearly an answering machine. His fingers were too big for the buttons, might I add.
"It was from the most sexy mouse that had ever lived! Queen Minnie! Her so called wackjob King husband, King Mickey. Or as I like 'tuh call him, King Dickey! Or was it Prickey? Whatever. Anyways. They broke up. Even though they're married. And she realized how sexy the almighty Captain Justice was. But, this also attracted the evil Captain Dark from the planet Krypton! So in the timespan of this entire speech, He kidnapped her! Captain Justice ran out of his rented apartment and onto his magic flying chocobo!" Pete ran away from the stage with a look of determination on his face. Although he tripped on a nail that stood out, he made it out in somewhat one-piece as the curtain went down.
The curtain opened up as Pete was dressed up as a chocobo. Squawking and everything as he looked off-stage. He skidaddled as if he just saw someone and after a few zipping sounds. Captain Justice would appear on the stage. A broom made to look like a chocobo was situated between his tubby legs.
Pete galloped with the broom to a cardboard circle that had the word "Moon" on it. The background was drawn to look like space. If, you considered space nothing more than a black background with white blotches everywhere.
"It seems as if the sexy Queen Minnie was in a prison cell at Captain Dark's Moonbase! The almighty hero, Captain Justice landed on the Moon. Using his, "Mary Sue " abilities tuh breathe all right in space!"
"However, trouble was nearby!" Pete ran off screen to the left again. Somehow appearing out the right in what was presumably, Sora's clothes. Yes. His actual clothes. But they seemed to big on him, for obvious reasons. The cat even pushed the envelope by wearing a goofy Sora wig.
Speaking of Goofy, him and Donald were situated next to him. Portrayed as a rotten seagull corpse and a green broom respectively. Pete slinged his keyblade behind his shoulder like Sora would usually do, except the keyblade was just a dull, rusty, brown cane.
"Alright Captain Justice! Your reign of terror has come to an end! Me and my friends will put a stop to ya!" said Pete, failing to imitate Sora's general cheery and determined voice. He even failed to hide his own speech impediments. Pete armed his "keyblade" in Sora's usual fighting stance. But the cane slipped and flew into the eye of one the audience members.
"Aaaaah!"
"Can uh', someone go get him a doc?" whispered Pete. He grabbed Goofy and used him as a replacement keyblade, "We won't let ya rescue Queen Minnie, Captain ...Captain...er...CAPTAIN JUST-UPID!"
Pete ran off stage and came back dressed as Goofy. Using a pie tin as a shield, "Hyuck! Hyuck! Gawrsh Sora, I can't wait to see his blood splatter all over the place!" the cat repeated the routine and came back in seconds dressed as Donald. The clothes barely stuck onto him, one of the buttons snapped off and smacked the wall. It was almost as if he was naked.
"We're gwonna put 'duh hurt on ya! Wright, Sora?" said Pete, trying to imitate Donald as much as he could. Yet again, he came back as Captain Justice. Sora, Donald, and Goofy we're replaced by crude cardboard figures that barely resembled them.
"Arrow of light! And, eh, er, stuff!" yelled Pete with barely any emotion at all. He assumed a position that was supposed to be him charging a giant ball of energy. But all that came out was a sandbag that flew from off-stage. Knocking Sora, Donald, and Goofy to the ground.
The curtain dropped once more. Opening as Pete, now dressed as Captain Dark. Loomed over a crude cardboard cut-out of Queen Minnie, "Bahahahaha! No one stands in the way of the evil Captain Dark! Not when there are only about five paragraphs left in this story!"
Pete ran off the screen yet again, appearing as Captain Justice. After the most pathetic battle in history, which I inform you, consisted of Pete constantly switching between his characters and fighting himself. The cat, now dressed as Captain Dark. Fell to the ground, defeated.
Another curtain fell, and it opened again with Pete dressed in drag. Trying to look like Queen Minnie, "Oh Pete! You're so beautiful with those burly feline muscles of yours! Have my babies please!" cooed Pete in the most cringe-worthy feminine voice a man ever tried to conceive.
The cat then promptly, made out with himself.
The curtain dropped for a final time. And it rose with Pete in his normal clothes again. Bowing to the audience who felt like it was a chore to keep watching that crap. During his bow, the cat fell off the stage and conked his head.
The audience found joy in this. And the woman in front of her sighed.
"Pete."
"Yes, Maleficent?"
"Get out."
"Alright, Maleficent..." Pete sighed and slumped out the auditorium. The other Disney Villains teamed up with Maleficent to get that dull cane out of Captain Hook's eye.
I always wondered why the Disney characters never got that much attention in the KH archives aside from the countless "KHIII" fics I've seen. It's bizarre, considering the fact that it makes up about fifty percent of the franchise. Ah, whatever. I shouldn't be complaining about something I can't fix.
