The grumbling was almost loud enough to rattle the paintings in the hall. Six ticked off ATF agents could make for an impressive wall of discontent, which explained why people were ducking into the nearest sanctuary to clear the path.
"I have never in my entire law enforcement experience been given a stupider order to follow, and that is saying something." Buck's complaints had been the loudest all morning, although JD had come up with more colourful phrases expressing his displeasure. Dumber than … was the mildest he had come up with.
Being the voice of calm reason usually fell to Josiah or Nathan, but neither man was inclined to speak up today. "When I think of the time this is wasting. I have profiles to work on for our next assignment. This is ludicrous."
"No Josiah," Nathan corrected, "this is one of the brilliant innovations from people who have nothing better to do with their time than to find ways for other people to waste their own."
After taking a moment to decipher that, JD nodded. "You said it."
Chris Larabee stared straight ahead, knowing that if he got into the discussion, all hell would break loose. Quite possibly literally. He kept telling himself it was just an hour out of their day. Plus travel time. Time they could ill afford to lose as they tried to finish reports from one stress filled assignment while preparing for another that was to start just three days from now. That wasn't enough time to debrief and de-stress. He'd made the mistake of saying that to Judge Travis while the new regional director was on the phone line. The next thing he knew, he got an email telling him the team had been registered for a stress management class the next morning. The resulting tirades from almost all parties involved only reinforced management's belief that the sessions were needed - badly. Even Josiah, who normally encouraged the team to try to relax and unwind, was unimpressed with the prospect. "You can't order people to relax. It is the epitome of a contradiction in terms. And of stupidity."
The only man who didn't object had been Ezra, and Chris had his suspicions why. With the session scheduled at 9:00, there wasn't even an icicle's chance in hell the undercover operative would be on time. Since he clearly had no intention of attending, he didn't feel the need to complain. The fact that he was missing now was the proof, and Chris swore that if they had to do this over because of his absence, life would be unbearable for the southerner for the foreseeable future, and beyond.
Vin got to the office door first. Quiet Contemplations. Enter and be at peace. Oh dear Lord, this was going to be the longest hour of his life. He looked back at the others, who appeared every bit as disgusted by what they were about to do. "You first Larabee. This is your fault."
"How do you figure that?"
"If you hadn't told the Judge we were stressed out, we wouldn't be here."
The others were nodding in agreement, but Chris was having none of it. "Oh, and the fact Buck put his fist through a wall - again - had nothing to do with it?" All eyes turned again.
There was plenty of blame to go around on this. "JD and Vin dropping water balloons out the window didn't exactly help matters."
"Yeah," Nathan agreed. "Especially when you drop one squarely on the head of a federal attorney."
"I'm a sharpshooter. I don't miss. Sue me."
"Sue you hell. You're just damned lucky they didn't fire you." Vin shrugged away Josiah's concerns, knowing it would take more than hijinks for that to happen.
JD went back to a question he had asked it before, but which never got answered. "Where the hell is Ezra? He's as bad as the rest of us. In fact, being the one undercover, he's probably more stressed out. Why doesn't he have to be here?"
"He is, and he does, and he will have to make this up. No reason he shouldn't suffer right along with us." It was going to take more than a bit of meditation to get Chris at peace with anything.
Vin opened the door and the six stepped inside. It wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting, although if pressed, he wasn't sure he knew what that was. There was a small desk with a chair near the door, but no other furniture in sight. If there was a real office, it was hidden, likely behind the somewhat camouflaged door in the corner. The room was painted a soft blue tone, and the piped in music was almost too soft to be heard. Unfortunately, that was only almost, and he could make out flutes and harps that already were setting his teeth on edge. The floor was bare at the entrance, but a few steps further would have them on a padded surface. Obviously they were expected to sit on the ground, which was going to push more of Josiah's buttons.
"Welcome to our gathering friends. My name is Lara Hayes." The woman behind the desk stood, smiling. Under any other circumstances, Buck would already be plotting how to get her phone number, but in this mood, it didn't even cross his mind. "I have been advised that you were not coming here of your own volition and with little enthusiasm, but I hope you are coming with open minds and a willingness to consider the possibility this could be of assistance to you."
Chris did his best to stay civil, reminding himself this was not her fault. "Who gave you that kind of warning?"
"Your colleague." She pointed behind them as she answered. They all turned and froze in place at the sight.
Ezra sat cross-legged on the floor near the back of the room. No, not cross-legged. It was more convoluted looking than that as his legs seemed to intertwine somehow. His arms rested gently on his thighs with his hands dangling free just beyond his knees. His eyes were closed, and he seemed oblivious to their arrival.
"Ezra? What the hell are you doing here?"
One eye opened, and a coy smile replaced the tranquil neutrality that had been on his face. "I believe this was a team project Mr. Wilmington, and to my knowledge, I am still a part of the team, am I not?"
Chris took a few steps forward but stopped when Ezra raised his hand. "Please gentlemen. Respect the property. You should remove your footwear before treading further into the room."
Numbly, they all followed the request then moved closer. They were stopped short again when Ezra stood to greet them. He simply rose from his position. No pushing off the ground, no twisting, and no sound. Just standing, his legs straightening with no effort.
Vin found his voice first. "Who are you, and what have you done with Ezra Standish?"
Lara laughed softly. "You did not exaggerate Master Ezra."
Nathan stared, certain he had heard that incorrectly.
"No. I knew I didn't need to. Their ignorance of my practice of the art was bound to be reflected in this manner."
"Your practice? You mean you do this stuff a lot?" Buck couldn't wrap his mind around that. He knew that Ezra Standish was into a lot of things, but something like this never would have crossed his mind.
"Master Ezra is most definitely knowledgeable on the subject. He could be teaching this session."
Ezra demurred. "On the contrary. While I have much experience, I am not at your level of teaching for the overall skills required for such a task."
Knowing for certain what he'd heard that time, Nathan reacted. "Master? What the hell is that about?"
"Oh, you misunderstood. Master is not a term of his standing over any other. It is rather to recognize that he is a master of his own mind and body."
JD was stunned. "Are you like some kind of Guru?"
"Hardly Mr. Dunne. That is a level of enlightenment and teaching that is far beyond my reach, I fear. I am simply well versed in the practice. Now, I believe we are here for a purpose far more important than a discussion of my interests. Shall we begin?"
"Hang on." Vin had the feeling there was a little more to this title discussion. "Are we supposed to start calling you Master now?"
"Don't be absurd."
Lara smiled in her soothing manner. "There are other titles that could be used instead, although your friend did express a decided reluctance to share that with you."
"Their reaction would be - inappropriate."
When Ezra refused to elaborate, despite six pointed stares drilling into him, Lara again interceded. "You could address him as 'yogi'."
The inevitable occurred. "Oh, cause he's smarter than your average bear?"
"No JD," Buck grin was broad and just a little evil. "Because he always carries a 'pic-i-nic' basket."
Ezra sighed deeply, looking apologetically at their instructor. "I rest my case."
Chris closed his eyes as he offered yet another quick prayer for patience. "You'll have to forgive the children Miss Hayes. They are hard to control without their milk and cookies."
"Yes. Well, perhaps we should proceed. Gentlemen, please find a comfortable position to sit in."
Josiah looked around in vain for a seat, and reluctantly accepted he was going to have to get down. As he moved toward the wall, Lara brought her chair to him. "Mr. Standish indicated you might feel more at ease on this." He looked at the chair for a moment, then smiled in gratitude. "Thanks, but if I'm going to do this, I might as well do it right." He lowered himself to the ground. It wasn't the most graceful descent, but it wasn't as difficult as he had feared. Getting up might be another matter, but he had an hour until that issue came up.
Ezra lowered himself back into his meditation pose with the same ease he had risen earlier. JD watched carefully, and deciding it wasn't nearly as hard as it looked, mimicked the move. He landed hard on his ass. A soft word from Chris stopped Buck before he could comment.
After a few minutes of fidgeting and readjustment, accompanied by some under their breath cursing, the group had settled as much as they were going to. Vin and Nathan appeared to be trying to make the best of a bad situation. Whether or not they were succeeding remained to be seen. JD was a bit more curious than he had been, spurred in no small part by Ezra's obvious attraction to and expertise on the subject. Josiah was surprised to find he also was becoming at least interested in what was going to happen. However there remained two firm holdouts, as Buck and Chris were taking the 'let's get this over with' approach to the session. Ezra was unnaturally quiet and serene.
"Now gentlemen," Lara began, "I realize this is a new experience for most of you and far outside what you are accustomed to. Please let me reassure that nothing we do today will in anyway make you look foolish, or stretch you, physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your comfort zone. Sadly, we do not have the time for you to learn any of the yoga skills your friend has mastered, although I am certain he would be happy to share those with you should you request it of him. What we will focus on today is simply the art of mediation. Learning to control your responses, centering your thoughts on the peaceful and positive aspects of your day."
"She does get we go after bad guys - right? Not a lot of peace and positive in that." Buck's stage whisper to Chris echoed in the quiet room. He didn't look the least embarrassed by that.
Taking a soothing breath, Lara continued. "When peace is not evident to you, you must seek it. That is what I hope to assist you with today. We will start by closing our eyes and focusing on our breathing. Slow, calming breaths. Allow the cool fresh air to fill your lungs, then expel the heavy, unsettling aspects of your being."
"I mastered breathing a long time ago. Do I still need to be here?" Vin and Chris snickered.
"Quiet Buck." JD whispered angrily. "Give her a chance."
Clearly the difficulty of dealing with these men had been understated. Taking comfort in the fact she could lose herself in a healing infusion of lavender and jasmine when this was done, she tried again. "Perhaps the best route is for you to find your peaceful place. Close your eyes and imagine yourself on a warm beach, the waves lapping gently at the shore."
"I don't like the water."
"Seriously Nathan?" Chris was getting more frustrated, knowing each interruption increased the likelihood they would have to do this again
"I can't relax if I don't like where I am."
Lara tried to regain control. "You don't need to be on a beach. A meadow, with a gentle breeze moving the flowers in a slow, graceful dance."
"Josiah has hay fever. That sneezing is nowhere near peaceful." Vin knew he shouldn't have said anything but couldn't resist the temptation.
"OK, that's it. You guys will sit still and relax. Next guy who doesn't is going to be typing everyone's reports for the next month."
"Mr. Larabee, I'm not certain that is the ideal approach to achieving the tranquility we are looking for." Lara had never had a class bring her this close to tears before.
Ezra rose from his position. "Why don't you take some time to centre yourself while I have a few words with my colleagues." She hesitated briefly. "Please, it will take only a moment, and I promise you will be grateful that you did." Nodding, she stepped back into a private room. When Ezra turned back, all semblance of serenity had vanished.
"Regardless of your opinion of the process here today, that woman has done nothing to earn this treatment from you. She is not a criminal you are trying to break, or a bureaucrat you seek to punish. She is trying to help, a task which it is clear no one in his or her right mind should undertake."
Chris was not used to being lectured by anyone, least of all his most problematic agent. He stood to refute the claim and stopped when he realized he had no way to do so.
"Hell Ezra, we are not cut out for this. We don't relax. We don't know how to."
"If we did, we wouldn't be who we are." Vin added.
Buck was on his feet as well. "This is gonna take away our edge, and that's dangerous. We gotta stay sharp - not mellow."
Ezra gave a single nod, then bowed his head. "I understand. I am somewhat chagrined to discover you do not consider me sharp, or with sufficient edge to be a part of the team. I will, therefore, notify Judge Travis of my intention to resign."
Conversation ceased for several seconds before he was bombarded with responses.
"What the hell?" "Nobody said that." "You can't be serious." "Why would you even joke about it?"
"I was not joking Mr. Tanner. I have been doing this - the yoga, the meditation - on a daily basis, almost every day of my adult life. Rarely have I been in a circumstance where I have not been able to make the effort, and where I have not found it worth that effort."
Buck wasn't buying it. "You're telling us this kind of hooey works for you?"
It was Ezra's turn to look on them in disbelief. "How did you presume I deal with what I have to so readily? Do you think it is my nature to remain calm and in control while facing down the wretched examples of humanity that I spend so much of my time with? Could you believe for a moment that even Maude could have trained me to survive the onslaught of degradation that I ensconce myself in for most of our cases? That it was shear willpower that allowed be to spend hours tied to a chair surrounded by explosives, or to…"
Josiah interrupted softly. "We get it son. You go through hell, and this helps you survive the trip."
"Look Ezra," Chris softened his tone as well, "I'm glad, really glad, you have this, especially since it seems to be keeping you sane."
"Relatively." Nathan grinned. "You still want to hang with us, so you have to be a little crazy."
"But that doesn't mean it is going to work for us."
Ezra looked him in the eye. "How could you possibly know that, given the effort you have put forth? Will you allow me to lead the session, and make a sincere effort to follow my guidance? If you still reject the practice after that, I will convince Miss Hayes to provide a suitable report of the experience to ensure future gatherings are not required."
The six looked at each other in silence. If another 45 minutes of their time would smooth over the inadvertent insult they'd hit him with, then it was a small price to pay.
"Do we have to call you Master?" Vin asked smiling.
"I believe we can dispense with any formal terms of address."
Try as he might, Josiah couldn't stop the laugh that comment brought. "You do realize the irony of that statement coming from you?"
"Look, can we at least stop with all the breathing stuff?" Buck pleaded.
"Yeah, he's already an expert at heavy breathing." JD dodged the head-slap and moved to a safe spot to take his seat. The others sank to the floor as well, casting warning glances at each other to keep it together while Ezra summoned Lara back to the room. He conferred quietly with her, and after a moment she smiled and nodded before facing the group.
"I am quite happy to turn you over to someone who may have a better understanding of the appropriate approach. I shall enjoy observing from a distance." She moved to a far corner and settled into her lotus position.
They watched Ezra lower himself again, still marvelling at the agility the move required. "We will start with something simple and basic. Close your eyes," they all did, "and make your minds completely blank. That should be something you can do with ease." Buck and Chris both opened their eyes again and glared. Nathan made the same comment by opening only one. When Ezra remained silent, waiting, all eyes closed again.
"Now, you are in a field." He could see the fidgeting beginning. "It is behind Chris's ranch, overlooking the valley. The sun is just beginning to disappear behind the tree lined ridge on the west. You ride toward the small serpentine creek that feeds into the river far below."
Ezra watched as the men stopped shuffling. In a few minutes, he was able to see the tension start to disappear from JD and Vin. As he progressed, Chris's shoulders lowered slightly as well. He kept talking, describing the ride they were on, the gentle gait of their four-legged companions, the familiar surroundings, all lulling them into the first stages of serenity. He kept the smile from his voice as he noted Buck adjusting his hands as if holding onto the reins. Each reference to a favoured location or accustomed action by the horses moved them a step closer to the goal. Nearly thirty minutes later, he guided them into the stables, and allowed them to dismount, and open their eyes. It took a moment for them to comply.
"If I hadn't seen it myself, I never would have believed it." Lara rose and made her way to the desk.
Josiah stood far more easily than he had expected to be able, feeling none of the tension he'd had when they arrived. The others followed the action, moving in a slow, easy manner. JD was the exception, as always, bounding to his feet. "That was - wow. That was awesome Ezra."
A sheepish grin was almost visible underneath Buck's moustache. "Kid's right. That was something else. Thanks Ezra."
"No, thank you - all - for the opportunity to help you discover and share in something I take pleasure in." He allowed himself a moment of contentment when Chris gave him a look that acknowledged his unexpected approval of the experience. The rest of the team was equally amenable.
"Think you'd be willing to share a bit more of that experience son? I wouldn't mind having another go at it some time."
"Yeah Ezra." JD rushed to his side. "Could you teach me how to - what was it Miss Hayes said - master my body and mind?"
Nathan and Vin seemed to be anxious to hear the answer as well. "I am always willing to expand someone's horizons JD. But you need to prepare yourself for a long journey. I have been doing this since I was in my teens, and still find new things to learn on a regular basis."
Chris looked around at his team. "I think we're all finding things to learn Ezra."
M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7
The End
NOTES: For the record, I consulted with three friends who all do yoga, and got three different answers on when it is appropriate to refer to someone as Master, in this context. For obvious reasons, I have picked the one that worked best for my interests. As Vin stated - sue me!
;-)
