Waiting
By: DarkBlue Mint
Disclaimer: Don't own Mai HiME (as if I needed other cause for my depression)
Notes: So I'm kinda like really depressed and I thought that writing something would lift my mood… sadly it seems that my mood ended up doing the writing. Also, wanted to see if I could do a 500 words fic (aparently I still can).
She's leaving again as she has been doing for years; she comes to your door, looking for a place to stay and a friend to take care of her, and then she just leaves with the excuse that she needs to investigate something or other, telling you that the fight may be over but the mysteries and the danger are still there. You want to tell her, sometimes when the feelings of depression turn to anger, that she's being paranoid, that SEARSS has been silent for years, but you always keep quiet.
You have most of her speech memorized, she changes it from time to time, but it's always the same; she's doing this for you, for the rest of the girls, that Sugiura-san can only do so much research. All excuses, pretty words to deny the fact that she's more scared to stay than you of her leaving. It has been this way for years, your relationship always in the brink of being over, but she always dangles the possibility of something more, and that's a good reason to stay… to wait for her.
"I don't want to hurt you, Shizuru." And you wonder if she knows that you were diagnosed with depression last year, that you didn't leave your room, or clean it, or do much of anything for a month. She doesn't know that if it weren't for Reito you will still be like that, that even Haruka took to call you twice a week with the excuse to challenge you at something, anything as long as you're outside for a while. "I don't want to hurt you," she says and yet nothing hurts you more than waiting for her, and that makes you angry, angry enough to change the choreographed script that you two have been using for three years.
Normally, you would have said that you knew, that you understood, pretend to tease her to get a blush out of her and then let her leave; letting her know that you'll be here, you'll be hers, whenever she choose to come back. This time you look at her with the ice that used to be the core of her powers.
This time you decide is over, that you won't be waiting anymore.
"I'm moving back to Kyoto." And you see how the words surprise her, but before she can say anything you keep talking, keep pushing against the voice in your head that tells you that maybe you shouldn't be so rash, that you should beg her to stay, but you used to be strong before and you need to be whole again. "I don't want you to look me up."
You move past her, to the door, and you notice that her eyes seem lost; you want to reassure her tell her everything will be okay, but you need this. "Goodbye, Natsuki. Don't be here when I come back."
You close the door behind you, and you let your heart be destroyed by sorrow.
End.
More Notes: If a lot of people asks me maybe I can do a sequel with a happy ending… usually I like happy endings.
