This is the first chapter of my first non-oneshot story, so please be nice. I like triple chocolate chip cookies, in case you want to give me something out of pity XD Anyway, I suggest you don't read this if you don't like remembering that behind Hetalia there's history and that history is sad. Words in italics are either thoughts or words from different languages. Let me know if I made any grammar mistakes and I'll change them. Well, I think I ran out of boring stuff to say so I'll just leave you to the fanfic, enjoy!
A cold breeze timidly blew through the silent city. It danced through the leaves of the trees, but was not enough to make them rustle. It twirled over the dark red puddles that here and there stained the streets, but was not enough to produce ripples. It reached a brunette boy and played with his trembling hair curl, but was not enough to dry the tears on his cheeks.
March 1848
Flawless notes from Chopin's Ballade no. 1 filled the mansion's semi dark corridors. Elizaveta Héderváry silently stood glancing at the shoulders of the pianist she had always been so fond of. Each single movement of those elegant shoulders would drag her into a whirlpool of emotions. So would his amethyst eyes, but she was not able to see them now. She smiled softly as she thought of them and approached to her lover.
"You have been sitting here for quite a while drága" she said as she laid her head on his shoulder and gently entangled their hands together making the music stop.
"Are you not feeling satisfied?" At the sound of her delicate voice Roderich Edelstein closed his eyes and a slight sigh of relief left his lips. That was music for him. But of course he wouldn't say it, not with words.
"N-no, es geht mir gut. It's just that..."
"It's just that you don't know how to deal with him anymore. I can read you like an open book mister!" she said while caressing his pale cheek.
The man's expression suddenly became sullen, his gaze got lost into the piano score that laid in front of him.
"He has been causing me problems lately... Like if things weren't already difficult enough"
Hearing the Austrian actually talk about his worries was something incredibly rare so Elizaveta wisely decided not to interrupt him.
"He suddenly wants this and that. His abhorrent whinings won't stop. He refuses to follow orders! Just like the brat under Spain's custody. If this goes on I will have to give him a harsh punishme-"
"Now don't say so, there's no need to, babája vkinek" said the emerald eyed woman gently pressing a finger on her lover's lips.
"He's not a kid anymore, it's normal that he wishes to be treated like a grow up. Also you might" she particularly stressed this word "be damanding a bit too much from him. Try rewarding him for once and things will surely change"
"I don't know Liz, I think..." but a graceful finger interrupted him once again.
"Roderich Edelstein. Do not think." were Elizaveta's last words before their lips sealed with a kiss.
The silence of the night was suddenly shattered by the sound of breaking glass.
"You bastard! You can't even imagine how much I hate myself for loving you... how much it hurts"
Lovino Vargas sat on the floor, his back against the cold wall. His clenched fist, now covered in warm blood, laid on the photo frame he had just crushed.
"Damn it!"
Transparent drops streamed down his cheeks while red stains covered the tanned faces of the two men in the picture. Their smile soon disappeared behind the dark liquid.
Through the flowing tears Lovino glanced at the radiant eyes that kept staring at him from the photo. Intense green. The picture was black and white and yet he remembered very well that colour. Oh how much he loved those eyes, how much he loved the features of their owner... his lips, his smile. He couldn't help loving that smile. Spain's smile was brighter than the stars in the sky, warmer than sunlight. But Spain sometimes would go insane, Spain would lose control... and that smile, that bright and warm smile, would mean pain and suffering for Romano's people. That smile would accompany blood and death. Lovino couldn't help hating that smile.
"Somebody. Please. Rip my miserable heart out!" the Italian yelled to the silent night. The house was empty, Spain had left to run some errands. Romano was alone. No answer came back to him.
"Perhaps it would be less painful... This... this thing can't even be called a heart anymore!" his voice broke in sobs "It's split in two. You split it up Antonio... you are the cause of all of this. Yet I love you bastard and I should be damned for that. My peole are dying because of you and all I can do is... loving you! I should die! Yes, my heart should stop beating... T-that's what I deserve" his fist hit the shattered glass once more.
"Yet I can't abandone my people, they already suffered enough because of my weakness... No, I won't leave them alone. I'll live as a nation. I'll pay for my errors." he tried to hold back the sobs, failing.
"I hate you Spain. Soon you'll see. Soon that smile of yours will fade away... My people will stop dying. I promise."
I love you Spain the voice of a kid said inside of him.
"Good bye Italy. When the war is over I'll come to see you for sure."
"I'll wait... I'll be waiting"
Two hundred and thirty years had passed. And he had waited.
Truth had always been there, silent and merciless, to remember him that Holy Roman Empire... was gone. Yes, he knew that. Deep insiede of him he knew that.
Part of his heart was meant to remain buried far away, in an unknown battlefield, along with that young black cloaked boy. Forever.
He was very aware of that yet he needed a reason to live. Feliciano Vargas needed to wait. That's what he had done for the past two hundred and thirty years.
He would wake up in the morning and do the chores Austria demanded from him. Back in his childhood Holy Roman Empire enjoyed peeking at him while he did so. Thus Italy kept doing the chores. When he had spare time he would paint. The subject was always the same, the blue eyed boy wrapped in a dark cloak. Italy didn't want to forget, not him.
Each sunset he would search the horizon looking for the shadow of a cloak shaking in the wind. Each night he would wonder if stars could be seen where his lover rested. Two hundred and thirty years had passed.
The exhaust brunette entered his bedroom, hiding a white envelope under his shirt. Lately, among the many prohibitions, Austria had forbidden him to meet or even contact via letter his older brother. Luckily Hungary, who couldn't stand the shadow of sorrow in those chocolate brown eyes, secretly took care of the letter exchange between the two brothers.
Feliciano locked the door, gave a last look at the stars before closing the curtain and threw himself on the bed. As he opened the letter he thought of the last time he had seen his brother, months before. His big brother looked frail and tired, and he was thin, terrifyingly thin. Veneziano couldn't help worrying for him, yet he didn't know how to help him. Actually he didn't even know his brother very well or what had been happening to him. He just knew he was his "Fratello", he tenderly whispered that word before opening the desperately awaited letter.
Dear brother,
I hope I can still consider you that. I'm afraid after all this time you might not even remember my smile. Do I even remember it? Fratello I stopped smiling the day he took you away from me. I used to smile before that day, you know that. He knew that. He whom deliberately forgot about me.
I can't hate nonno though. All he did was deciding to save a life, yours Feliciano. You were extremely young, I was slightly older, you needed protection, I ... I could be sacrificed. That's only natural, I can't blame him for that. I never could. But I did need someone to blame, someone to hate with all my soul... that someone was me.
I wanted to hurt myself. That's what I did. When he grabbed your hand to take you far away I didn't oppose, I didn't make a move to stop him, I didn't say good bye. I turned my back on you, so that you would hate me... so that my little brother wouldn't have to see my tears.
I have never smiled after that day Feliciano. There was no reason to, you wouldn't have seen it.
Then came Spain. The bastard gave me life, a new life. Patched up and fragile, but it was life. However I soon found out the thing I called life was just death behind a mask. Everyday, in this forgotten land, mothers can be heard crying out their sons' name. Those children won't answer, they never will... hunger has killed them. But Spain keeps smiling. Soldiers, his soldiers, touch those women, they say they wanto to console them... monsters. But Spain turns his head away. Men have nothing left but humiliation and the wish to die. But Spain keeps singing. He gave me life, he gave me death.
I, as a nation, can't die. I think I could fade if I wanted, but those mothers' cries wouldn't. I realised the only thing I can do is trying to save my people, even if that means sacrificing my feelings... again.
I have been thinking about this for a long time and now I'm convinced. Although it might hurt, with this decision I didn't give up on life. I actually found a new reason to live and I want you, fratello mio, to be part of it.
Feliciano, will you join your big brother? That smile, the smile I held back for centuries, is still waiting for you.
Yours,
Lovino
Feliciano lifted the letter to his nose trying to catch even just the shadow of his brother's scent and then pressed it to his lips. Warm tears wet them.
"Fratello. I promise I will earn that smile".
He then sat at his desk and wrote down a message:
To Austria
"To Holy Roman Empire"
I'm leaving
"and whatever will happen"
I'll fight
"I'll wait"
for my brother
"for you, my lover"
Farewell,
Veneziano
Hahaha I couldn't help burst out laughing when Veneziano wrote "I'll fight", that's so not him, but apparently he did for once, I guess something strange was in his pasta XD Anyway thank you for reading 'till here, I admire you if you did, really! I don't know if I should continue this, I think it turned out to be somewhat of a sleeping drug so please let me know what you think, reviews (especially constructive criticism) are most appreciated.
Translations
Drága = darling (Hungarian)
Es geht mir gut = I am fine (German)
Babája vkinek = sweetheart (Hungarian)
Fratello mio = my brother (Italian)
Nonno = grandpa (Italian)
