Title: 雨間
Summary: In which the older Yamamoto struggles with dealing with the younger Tsuna not long after their Tsuna died, and he finally copes.
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! belongs to Akira Amano
Pairing: 8027 (Believe it or not, I started with friendship, to implied and by the time I was done with this fic, it has gone on to be officially 8027.)
Warning: Mild language
Note: Set in canon TYL; after Tsuna and gang reaches the Vongola base but BEFORE Tsuna, Gokudera and TYL!Yamamoto goes out of the hideout to look for the Guardians. Pretty much in Yamamoto's POV.
Dedicated to: Lightning515
雨間
"Yamamoto-kun!"
Out of habit, Yamamoto froze completely in his track. It was only due to the small part of his mind that was still functioning that he did not turn tail and run at the address. It was also that same part of his mind whispering, 'it's not him, not the right him' that allowed him to relax and turn to the direction where the voice came from, an easy smile already slipping onto his face.
"Yo, Tsuna." He greeted.
Tsuna (―him from ten years ago, his mind reminded him―) came to a stop before him, tilting his head up to compensate for the difference in height (―how long has it been since he could look at us without needing to do that?―) glancing at him with a frown.
"Ano, Yamamoto-kun," (―and he tries so damn hard not to flinch―) "…did I… do something wrong?"
―His thoughts screeched to a stop.
"Sorry?" Yamamoto blinked, glancing down at the younger Tsuna with a lazy, but inquisitive stare.
"B-Because…" (―he was so close to freezing up again because dammit, hi― their Tsuna's habit of scratching his cheek when he was nervous came all the way back from when he was this: younger Tsuna―) "…Yamamoto-kun… seems to be avoiding me…?"
Yamamoto nearly smacked himself in frustration, because really, it was still too damn early since their Tsuna's death for him to be able to deal with the younger one. "S-Sorry. I didn't mean to do that." He apologizes. "It's… nothing. It's just me being… stupid."
"Yamamoto-kun is not stupid!" Tsuna (―younger Tsuna―) answers, his lips curling into a deliciously familiar pout that, at the moment, felt like his beloved katana stabbing him in the gut, "Yamamoto-kun's just… bothered. By me, somehow. B-Because… I'm the only one… Yamamoto-kun is avoiding…"
And he wanted to smack himself again, because it was another one of his stupid mistake ―of course the kid (his gut twisted painfully again) would realize; the Vongola Hyper Intuition wasn't feared for nothing. And that also meant that the older swordsman couldn't lie to the younger Tsuna (―not that he could to the older one, either―) because in his current state, he would be found out effortlessly.
So he settled for the truth.
"Sorry." He apologized again. "It's just… it's been really long since you ―well, the older you― called me ―and the rest of us, really― by our family names." Yamamoto explained. "Normally, when you ―uh, the older you call us by our family names, it means that we did something to annoy you ―likely missions or some, uhh, minor destruction. And if the older you actually call us by our full name… It means you've more or less gone beyond pissed, and normally we'll run and disappear for a week or so because, honestly, even Reborn ―our Reborn― was impressed with how sadistic you can be when you're that pissed and―" By then, Yamamoto finally realized that he was rambling and he promptly stopped. "Rambling. Sorry."
Tsuna had long since stopped pouting, and was glancing at him with that concerned frown (―don't do that, don't remind me of him―) again. "I… called you guys by your first names…?" Tsuna asked. "Umm… T-Ta… Take―"
Yamamoto pressed a finger to the brunet's lips just a little too urgently, too forcefully, but thankfully, the brunet didn't notice. "It's alright. You don't have to do that." Yamamoto smiles, because he has to, otherwise he might just start breaking down (―because that's how he reacted too; stuttering, blushing…―) and he can't afford to do that; he has duties to attend to. "So, what are you doing around?" He changes the topic, praying with all his might that the younger Tsuna would follow without any question (―because he knows the older Tsuna wouldn't have let it go so easily―) and thankfully for Yamamoto's close-to-breaking heart, he does.
"Oh! Umm… Reborn's discussing some things with Lal Mirch, so I'm kinda free to roam around." Tsuna replies, a small smile on his face (―and he swears that in that moment, his heart had completely stopped―). "Ano, Y-Yamamoto-kun?"
"Hmm?"
"T-That katana… It's not the Shigure Kintoki, right…?" Tsuna asked, gesturing to the sheathed sword strapped over the back of Yamamoto's left shoulder.
The raven nearly froze again but quickly recovered, answering, "I rarely use Shigure Kintoki nowadays." With a smile that can only be described as nostalgic, Yamamoto gently unstrapped the katana from his shoulder and held it out in a tight grip, "Shigure Kintoki is in my room most of the time. The katana I use now is called 'Tenkyuu'."
"'Tenkyuu'…" Younger Tsuna repeated softly. "It's such a nice―"
("―such a nice name, isn't it?"―)
For a split moment, Yamamoto thought he saw his Tsuna standing in front of him, with that smile on his face that never fails to make his own heart skip a beat, but ―reality is cruel; so cruel― with a blink of an eye, it was younger Tsuna staring at him with an inquisitive glance again. "You named it." He spills out unexpectedly (―why did I say that? Why did I let him know…?―), watching as a look of surprise spread across the brunet's face. "Actually…" (―stop talking, dammit!―) "You… I mean, the older you had this katana made for me."
"R-Really…?" Tsuna asked, face still set in disbelief.
"Yeah." Yamamoto nodded. "That's because―"
("―I'm sorry for sending on you so many missions. Kyouya is busy with the Foundation, Lambo is still young and I don't feel comfortable sending Chrome out on missions, so you, Hayato and Ryo have the bear the bulk of the missions, and Shigure Kintoki… You haven't got enough time to maintain it properly, right?"
Yamamoto didn't want to, but he knew he wouldn't be able to lie to him, and so he nodded honestly.
"…Takeshi, this katana… Tenkyuu… I want you to use it in place of your Shigure Kintoki. Shigure Kintoki is so important to you… I… I don't want to see it hurt any further."
Yamamoto didn't know what to say. He simply glanced at him and the katana.
"Takeshi… Tenkyuu… use it for any mission you carry out by my order. As for Shigure Kintoki… I want you to promise me to use it only in a certain circumstance."
Yamamoto frowned, "A certain―")
"―circumstance?" Tsuna echoed.
Yamamoto nodded, but didn't elaborate. The raven quietly stared down at the katana in his hand. He slowly unsheathed it, letting the ceiling lights reflect off the well-polished blade. He had never once used Shigure Kintoki ever since he received Tenkyuu from him. He maintained Shigure Kintoki regularly, of course (―he'll be damned if he let his family heirloom go to waste out of neglect―) but Tenkyuu was also―
"―well maintained…" Tsuna murmured. Yamamoto stared with widened eyes, and younger Tsuna hurried on to add, "B-Because I w-was curious about it, I asked Yamamoto-kun about it a while back."
And Yamamoto felt his heart squeeze painfully, because (―god, has it been so long…?―) honestly, he almost forgot about that since it had already been ten years for him and the memories were overflowing and gushing up right now. And, dammit, he wanted so much to just reach out and―
"Dame-Tsuna. Get to the meeting room now. The rest of you as well ―you know who you are."
―Yamamoto chuckled humorlessly.
"Yamamoto-kun?" Tsuna called, confusion evident in his voice.
"Nothing." He answered. "Let's hurry before Reborn does something more drastic."
And as the young Tsuna turned to run down the hallway, determined to get to the meeting room before Reborn can deem him 'late', Yamamoto lingers in his spot, his eyes trailing down to Tenkyuu again.
("―circumstance?"
"…Shigure Kintoki… I know that Tenkyuu will never be able to replace Shigure Kintoki in your heart and I never intended for it to; Shigure Kintoki is your pride, and I want it to remain that way. That's why… Takeshi, I want you to promise me that you'll use Shigure Kintoki when you are fighting for your pride. When your pride is on the line… Only Shigure Kintoki will be able to unleash your true strength. That… is what I want from you."
"…But, Tsuna…―")
"―You are my pride…" Yamamoto murmured. "More than anyone, more than even Hayato… You're my pride, Tsuna… How… How am I supposed to go on when my pride is gone…?"
"Is it really?"
Yamamoto glanced up from Tenkyuu and stared into endless pits of obsidian. "…Reborn."
"Is your pride really gone, Yamamoto?" Reborn asked again, calmly staring back at the swordsman. "Who was just with you a minute ago? Who was the one who had been smiling at you so fondly? Who was the one who deliberately seek you out just because he wanted to?"
"Tsuna…" Yamamoto whispered. "But… it's different!"
"How?" Reborn asked back quietly. "Just because the one you love is the older Tsuna?"
Yamamoto didn't even bother asking the infant just how he knew about their relationship. The swordsman fell silent, glancing at anywhere but the Sun Arcobaleno.
"Ten years earlier or ten years later… Tsuna is still Tsuna. You already saw bits of the older Tsuna in him just now, didn't you?" Reborn questioned. Without waiting for a response, he continued, "Yamamoto, there aren't many things that are constant in this world. The Sky is one of those that are. Storms come and pass; Lightning flash and go; Rains fall and dry; Sun rise and set; Clouds form and dissipate; Mist gather and disappear… But the Sky will always be there. Think hard about that."
With those words, Reborn turned and headed down the way he came, leaving Yamamoto alone in the hallway once more.
As the words slowly sank in, the swordsman chuckled bitterly, raising a hand to grip at midnight black locks.
("Ne, Takeshi?"
"Hmm?"
"You know how we keep getting accidents from the Ten Year Bazooka, no matter how many times I ban it, right?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"If I switch places with my younger self permanently, what would you do?"
"Wh―"
"―Ah-ah. Don't ask why. Just humor me."
"…I'll fall in love with you all over again. I love you, Tsuna, and not your age. Even if it's the younger you, it's still you ―the same person that I fell in love with. Sure, the age thing might be a problem, but then I'll just fall in love with you all over again."
"Takeshi…! Ne, Takeshi… Don't forget that, okay?")
"Yamamoto-kun?"
The raven blinks and found Tsuna (―younger Tsuna―) in front of him again.
"Umm… Reborn sent me to find you." Tsuna explained. "Are you alright? Did I upset you earlier? I'm sorr― A-Ah!"
Yamamoto couldn't hold back any longer. He reached out with his longer arms and pulled Tsuna tightly against his body. Arms wrapped themselves around a petite waist while he buried his face in fluffy brown locks, taking in the familiar scent, because really, ten years and his scent still smelled the same.
"Ya-Yamamoto… kun…?"
"Sorry…" He murmurs. "Just for a bit… Let me hold you like this for a bit…"
Dammit, Tsuna… I miss you so much… You have no idea how much it hurt when I saw your younger self. I want to see you… but I can't anymore. It's alright though. I remember now. Tsuna… You're my pride, and I'll do everything to protect you. It still hurts to see your younger self, but I'll manage. I'll cope. I'll get better.
Ne, Tsuna. Is it alright… that a small part of me still wishes that I can see you, though?
I love you, Tsuna.
Translation:
雨間: Break in the Rain
Tenkyuu (天泣): Rain from a cloudless sky.
A/N: Poor Yamamoto. My first 8027 fic! Thought I'll give this a go too. Sorry about the style; I saw something similar a while back and I wanted to try it out... It's not my permanent style, but do give constructive criticism!
Dedicated to Lightning515, who managed to inspire me with one random line. Stop sending the bunnies after me!
That's all for this time! Ciao Ciao~
