Marmageddon. The end is near.
November. 2011
Benjamin clutched his TV remote, eyes wide with shock as he listened to the news reporter.
"Officials have reported that the Marmite Factory will not be up and running til July at the earliest and as such, will not be producing Marmite. In other news the-"
The TV screen went black with a small, happy sounding bleep, as Benjamin switched it off. The kiwi man stood up shakily, the remote slipping from his grasp and he walked towards the kitchen. Opening his cupboard, he scanned the contents, his heart beat quickening when all he saw was the familiar jars of Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam residing there. He turned and pulled open another cupboard. And another. And another. However his frantic searching was proving to be fruitless as there was no sign of his beloved Marmite. One last cupboard to go. He creaked it open, almost afraid of the prospect of being Marmite-less. To his delight, sitting front and centre was the familiar red, black and gold container, filled to the brim with the sticky, black condiment. Pulling it out he let out a cry of triumph, clutching it tightly to his chest. Maybe, just maybe he could survive this epidemic…
March. 2012
"Probably just another bad campaign idea eh Jess?" He growls as Prime Minster John Key fills the screen. His border collie Jess looked up from where she was lying by the kitchen door and barked once in reply. "Thought you'd agree with me girl," He grinned at her before turning his attention back to the screen, getting ready to change the channel to 'Friends' over on Channel Two but stopped when he heard the word 'Marmite'. Jess pricked up her ears when Benjamin scrambled for the remote, turning the volume up for news about his beloved spread.
"I'm going to have to go thin I'm afraid. I have a very small amount in my office and once that runs out I'm obviously aware that supplies are very short," Key said to the reporter, his face a mask of disappointment. "But I've got to be honest I can eat Vegemite as well. I'm a consumer that can move between brands, I'm ashamed to say it," Benjamin pulled a face at this.
"He should be ashamed!" he shouted at the TV "Eating that good for nothing Vegemite…" In a huff now, Benjamin smacked the power button and got up, leaving a blank TV and a confused Border collie in his wake.
July. 2012
Benjamin switched the TV on excitedly. It was six o'clock in the middle of July! The update on the Marmite factory was going to be on the news today; he could feel it in his bones. The familiar news reporter's faces filled the screen once more.
"And after the break is an update on the Marmageddon crisis." the female reported said.
"Yes!" Benjamin leapt out of his seat with a fist pump of victory. "You hear that Jess? It's on after the break!" Jess blinked sleepily before letting out a quiet woof and going back to sleep. Benjamin continued to jump around his lounge until the ads ended and the news came back on.
"Now, the Marmageddon crisis- Unfortunately due to extensive damage in the recent earthquakes, the completion of the Marmite factory has been pushed back till Christmas at best. Now to Jim with the weather," Benjamin's jaw dropped and he sunk down into his chair.
"N-no Marmite til C-Christmas?" He stammered, in shock. How could he last til Christmas without Marmite?! He had already finished half of his last jar, despite his scrimping on the yeasty spread. "What am I gonna do Jess?" he whined, tugging nervously at his hair.
November. 2012
Benjamin logged onto the computer and immediately opened up an internet browser so he could check for updates of the Marmite crisis. He smiled hopefully when he saw a new article on the matter and clicked into it. 'Marmageddon: the end is near' the title read and as he skimmed the article he felt himself grinning wider and wider until he leapt out of his chair with a yell of victory.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" he cried, sticking his arms above his head. The other occupants of the small internet café hushed him grumpily. He reluctantly sat back down and quieted but could not keep the grin off his face for long. Closing this news tab he went into TradeMe (kinda the New Zealand version of Gumtree) and browsed the hottest sellers for anything interesting. Surprisingly the first thing that came up was a picture of a jar of Marmite, Intrigued Benjamin clicked into it, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw the bidding price was $60.50! And still going up! He watched as the little numbers went from 60.50 to 70 to 80 and keeps going!
January. 2013
Benjamin kept his eye on the news, watching for any news on the Marmageddon.
"Now, on the Marmageddon crisis," the woman reporter beamed at the camera "Officials have said that the factory has been sufficiently repaired and will be shipping out our favourite breakfast spread over the next three months."
The rest of her sentence was drowned out by Benjamin's victory cries.
This is to celebrate getting 10 reviews on 'Free Hetalia Units? Cool! Wait What's a Unit?' So go check that out if you havent already~
And yes its short but thats mainly because this was origionnally a assignment for school and I thought it was good so I was planning to pload it anyway~ Also for those who don't know. New Zealand Marmite is significantly different from English Marmite or Australian Vegemite, its stronger and in my opinion, tastes better~
Anywho, Darky Out~
