Not Coming Home

A/N: My first songfic, I was going to do "She Will Be Loved" (also by Maroon 5) and make it a Seth/Summer fic but that's been done. =( I doubt Ryan's this angry with Marissa, but hey, who knows? Please leave a review!

Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. because if I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction. I don't own Maroon 5 either.

Ryan stared at the TV screen. He hadn't exactly been watching, almost dozing off. It was a Saturday night. Seth was at Summer's. Luke was...somewhere. He didn't really know. Luke hadn't been talking much recently. Theresa was back in Chino. He missed her more then before. Why did she have to come and then leave again? It was like tempting him, like she wanted him to follow her. But if she wanted him to, why'd she leave? Maybe she wanted to see how much he really wanted her. Ryan thought about where he would be if nothing had changed: Oliver hadn't come along.

*When you refuse me

You confuse me*

He'd probably be making out with Marissa, hoping that maybe tonight they'd finally have sex. He should've gotten a hint there. She didn't even trust him enough to sleep with him.

He wondered why she kept trying so hard. Why couldn't she just accept that she couldn't go back and undo what she did? He wouldn't want to go back though. If Oliver hadn't came along, something else would and their relationship would've disappeared, just like it did. Did she think he was so weak that he'd let her in again? Just to know she was there?

*What makes you think I'll let you in again

Think again my friend

Go on misuse me and abuse me

I'll come out stronger in the end*

She'd always left him alone. Yes, they spent almost all of their waking hours together but emotionally, he was alone. He had Seth and Sandy and Kirsten, but shouldn't he have his girlfriend? It was always talking about her. Did she even care about his past? But now she was alone.

*And does it make you sad

To find yourself alone*

And he wouldn't go back. He wouldn't go back to this place he found with her, it sort of felt like a home. Home wasn't always warm or welcoming or simple. But he wouldn't go back. He had promised himself. He'd become stronger then surrendering to her. She didn't try to make him weak or hurt, but she did. Why would he do that to himself?

*And does it make you mad

To find that I have grown

I'll bet it hurts so bad To see the strength that I have shown

When you answer the door pick up the phone

You wont find me cause I'm not coming home*

It hurt him to turn away from her, to tell her no. He hated hurting people, but it was time to look out for his self. He couldn't always be the protector for other people. He had to protect himself from people who'd hurt him, even if they didn't mean to. He would stay with people who made him happy and safe and who didn't hurt him. That was what he was trying to escape in Chino, and now that he had he wouldn't go back to it.

*You don't know how much this hurts me

To say these things that I don't want to say

But have to say them anyway

I would do anything to end your suffering

But you would rather walk away*

It felt good to stay alone for once. He was alone but not lonely. And that was enough. He was happy for once.