One Shot, Please review!

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Raiken was an Assault Seargant of the 3rd Company of the Black Guard. He is good at what he does, mainly flanking xenos with the rest of his squad, whom he trusted with his life. He loved his battle-brothers, Pilinæus, the Emperor, and his weapons, his bolt pistol and his power sword. Of his most precious items, old tattered photos of his childhood, a slate containing a video of himself and his friends and family, given to him the day he was selected to become a Space Marine, a charm a young 8-year old girl gave him from saving her from a Tyranid swarm, his weapons were the most precious. They had been given to him by his teacher, mentor, sergeant, and most importantly, his friend Pilinæus. As Pilinæus lay, legless, he entrusted both those tools and his position to him. As Pilinæus lay dying, Raiken called Apothecary Angelos over to tend to him before leaping off to catch up to the Ork Speed Freek warband that had invoked his wrath. When Raiken had returned, he had discovered that Pilinæus was not dead, nor alive, for that matter. He had been instilled into a dreadnought, who would be able to take his experience and friendship with his for all of eternity.

Raiken shook his head to focus on the mission at hand. His thoughts had been drifting from the present since three years ago, slowly getting longer and more frequent. Is it because I have so many other important relationships and memories outside of the Adeptus Astartes? He thought to himself. Unlike his other battle-brothers, who were roaring, singing hymns, or shouting the Chapter's battle cry, "Niger ut nex Niveus ut veneration!"(which meant 'Black as death, White as honor' in an ancient Terran language called Latin.), he was oddly, at peace. Even though there was gunfire, shouts of his comrades, an excessive amount of Orks screaming "WAAAGH!!", and whatever Space Marine equivenalt of adrenaline rushing through his veins, he was content with himself. It was as if he had served and changed the lives of enough Imperial citizens that his job was done. It felt like he had done what he had needed to do, and the Emperor was letting him retire. What a sily thought. Raiken thought. There is no retiring, only in dea- his thoughts were prematurely ended as an Ork choppa burst through his side.

As he fell to the ground. I guess the Emperor really does want me to retire. He thought as he fell to the ground. His vision started to flicker in and out of focus as he lay slowly dying. Sometimes he saw the Emperor, three times taller than a man, wearing terminator armor, and shredding enemies with an assault cannon in his right hand, while bearing a flaming blade in his right. As Raiken's vision flickered, the emperor changed to a dreadnought, then to the Emperor, and then back to a dreadnought. He looked closer at the nameplate of the furious war machine. It read: Pilinæus. Raiken gave a chuckle and thought: I guess the Emperor really does live in all of us. He coughed up more blood. He suddenly came to the reason of why he was at peace. I am satisfied with my life. He thought. I am ready to die now. Apothecary Angelos walked over to him and said:

"Brother, do you desire the Emperor's Peace?"

Raiken replied: "Angelos, I already have the Emperor's peace."

"As you wish." The bolt was drawn back, and before it was released, Raiken said: "I am satisfied"