This was supposed to be an one shot but I like to live dangerously. It's just a small multi chaptered fic (5/7 chapters) to have some fun, no drama on this one, promise...
Enjoy!
"Have you all just suddenly gone stupid?"- House barked at his team. - "Seriously, tell me! Cause I can see no other explanation why you would suggest Fucosidosis as a diagnosis on a 22 year old man!"
The team looked like frightened little children getting yelled by their father for not doing their homework, Taub was looking at the ground whilst Thirteen and Chase were glancing at each other with helpless looks in their eyes, kind of silently crying for help.
"In case you idiots didn't know, a gene for this fun disorder is found on chromosome 1, and a similar gene sequence can also be found on chromosome 2. An individual must inherit two copies of the defective gene in order to develop Fucosidosis. Now, here's the tricky part: Fucosidosis is a rare storage disease found in children between the age of three and eighteen months!"
Wilson sat in the back of the differential room, he was supposed to take House out for lunch but noticing his mood, he decided to just quietly sit in the back and wait till he finished dismembering his team.
"Sometimes I wonder if you went to med school at all!" House rubbed his hand on his forehead, trying to sooth the throbbing head ache that was stubbornly pissing him off since he'd woken up that morning.
"In order to spare your idiot souls of embarrassing yourselves further, I want you all to disappear from my sight and only come back when you have a decent explanation for our patient's angiokeratomas. Now, shoo!".
Wilson waited until the room was cleared of all the ducklings to move from his strategic place. He made his way to the coffee machine, asking House if he wanted one in the process.
House just grunted and nodded at Wilson, with the ginourmous pain in his head caffeine was something rather appealing to him at the moment and if he didn't have any self control he'd kiss Wilson right the second he handed him the black nectar of Gods.
"Rough day?" Wilson asked smirking.
"You'd think those idiots were able to do their jobs without me having to rip my head off out of frustration!"
"Relax, House… So the Scobby gang wasn't on their A game today, there's no need for massive murder, I could swear Taub was praying for his life."
Wilson couldn't deny that he found the whole thing very amusing, of course he felt sorry for House's minions, but the evil side of him couldn't help but to love watching grown adults metaphorically pee their pants in fright.
House just glared at his friend's annoying smirk, making his way to the comfortable environment of his own office and, instead of taking a hint, Wilson followed him in.
"So… I take it we're not going to lunch anymore…?"
Before House had the chance to send Wilson to a certain place, a knock on his office door drew his attention off of his soon to be former best friend.
"Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm Arnold Dubois, I'm looking for Dr. Gregory House, I was told this is his office."
Ah, great - House thought - Cuddy was punishing him again by sending clinic patients to his office. Someone, somewhere decided that today was the day everybody would put his mental health to the test.
Not bothering to pay much attention to the elderly man, House dismissively replied - "Sorry, Dr. House is not here at the moment. Come back never."
Arnold Dubois had been told about Dr. House's charming bed side manner so it didn't take a genius to realize the man he was looking for was the one currently lying on the ottoman chugging down a cup of coffee.
"I'm the attorney responsible for Ms. Gertrude House's will…" - he made his way inside the room , sitting on the opposite chair of the glassed desk.
The mention of that name spiked both House and Wilson's attention.
House stood up, headache forgotten for a slight moment.
"Carry on…"
Arnold smirked "I see I've caught your attention Dr., maybe we should discuss this in private.." - he glanced at Wilson.
"James here is my secretary, he can stay"
Doing his characteristic superman pose, Jimmy rolled his eyes and glared at House. He made his way to his friend's previous place and sat there, attentively listening to the man across the room, sipping on his coffee. After the secretary comment he should have left but curiosity took the best of him, he couldn't help but to succumb to his prying tendencies and wait for the mystery to unwind before his eyes.
"Okay then…" - Arnold started - "As I said before, my name is Arnold Dubois, I represent Gertrude House and I'm here to discuss some aspects pertaining to her last wishes."
House's brain was automatically searching through his name database in an attempt to identify Gertrude. She was obviously family, the name kind of gave it away, but he couldn't match anyone to it. He just nodded for the attorney to continue.
"Unfortunately, Gertrude passed away a few weeks ago and I was hired by her sister to make sure her will would be executed according to her wishes."
"I don't remember ever meeting Gertrude." House was trying to orderly fit ever puzzle piece to its rightful place.
"Right, Gertrude House was your late uncle's wife. Jack House, your uncle was your father's brother."
Realization hit House's face.
"Anyway, I was told to come meet you, Dr. House, to let you know that you're entitled to some of Mrs. House's possessions. I have something I ought to read to you, if I may…"
The doctor nodded.
Arnold cleared his voice - "Something not of your concern… umh… let's see…" - he scammed through the sheet - "…oh, yes… and I wish half of my money to be left to my nephew, Gregory House, accompanied by my two properties in Jersey , under the conditions stated on the attached letter."
Both House and Wilson were dumbfounded, so House got a rather large amount of money from an aunt he used to visit when he was 9 years old, and by rather larger he meant really really large.
"What?" - was all House could muster - "So, what you're saying is that I'm ridiculously rich?"
Dare Wilson say, he saw a smile grace House's old, beat up face.
"Well…" Arnold started
"I'm rich!" House repeated, already reconsidering the whole not believing in God thing.
"Well…" - Arnold tried again - "There's just one small catch…"
House scoffed "Of course…"
"As you might be aware, your aunt was a very religious person. She sates here, on the attached letter concerning your part of the will, that in order for you to get access to the money, you must be married and devoted to the work of the Lord, or the money will go to one of her favorite charities."
The look on House's face was one of terror.
Arnold continued "You must me married to a respectable woman who…"
Without even realizing he was speaking, House blurted
"I have a wife."
Wilson's eyes almost popped out of his face and instead of saying something he'd surely get his ass beaten for, he chose to innocently sip on his now cold coffee.
"Oh, that is wonderful news. When can I meet Mrs. House?"
As if on cue, House's office doors stormed open, no one but Lisa Cuddy walking in, oblivious to the matter of discussion at the moment.
Without even hesitating…
"Here she is now!" House said cheerfully, pulling his best poker face.
Wilson chocked on his coffee, the black liquid spilling all over his shirt. He couldn't believe what House had just done, there was no way he could survive this… Cuddy was going to kill him! She was actually going to kill him dead. Oh boy…
Scrunching her face in confusing Cuddy stood, looking at House.
After smiling at Cuddy, Arnold turned his attention back to House and spoke - "Well, Dr. House, this will be easier than I expected! All we need to do is arrange an hearing where both you and your wife sign some papers and we'll be all set."
Upon hearing those worlds, Cuddy opened her moth to speak, only to be stunned to silence when House grabbed her by the waist and planted a quick kiss on her lips.
Wilson was just about ready to die.
"I'll call you tomorrow." - the attorney stated as he grabbed his briefcase - "Dr. House, Mrs. House, I'll see you both in the next few days."
House, with his hand still on Cuddy's waist, pulled her further towards him, dragging her away from the path leading to the door, letting Mr. Dubois leave the room.
The next chapters are already written but I can still use some suggestions, oh, pissed off Cuddy is so much fun to write eheheh.
Ps: updates Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays sound good? lemme know.
