My To-Do-List by Kel Thuzad
Disclaimer:
Kel Thuzad, the Cult of the Damned, the Scourge of the Undead, Arthas Menethil and all Warcraft stuff belongs to Blizzard. I don´t own anything (I wanna have KEL!), I don´t make any profit from it (more the opposite - it keeps me from doing some important school work) and I do not mean to offend anyone. Deal with it.
Summary: Kel Thuzad, Necromancer a.d., Lich of the Scourge, Head of the Cult of the Damned, is a very busy person. That´s why he has a journal where he writes everything down.
Take a peek into Kel Thuzad´s personal journal, precisely at his to- do- list. Did I mention that it is very personal?
To do:
1. See that all of your new commandments are properly enforced
2. get yourself some huge stone tablets to have them written down
3. take said tablets, lay them in a golden box, tell some idiot to take it into a deserted temple and leave it there
4. remember bruch with Arthas tommorow
5. get your bony hands on "Summoning Spells IV: Idiot´s guide to raise the Dead"
6. fetch some new shiny chains for wristbands
7. compose a hymn for the cult
8. have someone compose a hymn for the cult
9. get an organ with creepy sceleton keys
10. teach the acolytes and the undead with intact vocal chords how to sing
11. hire a conductor
12. scratch that: kill a famous conductor
13. open portal to Hell
14. remember where you put your dictionary
15. find new hideout for ziggurat-keys than under the plant pot
16. write to Mommy
17. terminate next village
18. forge some new cool magic weapons
19. cancel TV guide subscription
20. fix hole in wall
21. get a new hammer
22. refill alchemistic potions
23. burn that witch
24. torture someone
25. invite Arthas to barbecue next week
26. summon a new graveyard
27. tell someone to clean the slaughterhouses
28. make new shades
29. kill entire population of Lordaeron
30. feed the wyrms
31. get better organised
32. make a casting for new staff members
33. train some ghouls
34. kick ass
35. write a new haiku
36. gaze mystically into the stars
37. close portal to hell
38. fire the cook
39. go to Arthas´ for Superbowl
40. set timer to record Sailor Moon
41. learn how to walk on water
42. go clubbing
43. remember her phone number
44. infiltrate Ironforge
45. kill the dwarves
46. brew some more beer
47. rent a quad
48. get rid of arachnophobia
49. go to brother´s wedding
50. get a new tenor for undead choir
51. forbid the banshees to sing soprano
52. return books to library
53. destroy Quel´Thalas
54. talk to Arthas about the vampire idea
55. get cool magic wand
56. bring popcorn to next movie night
57. tell Arthas you´re not the designated driver again
58. raid that temple and steal the holy artefacts
69. get yourself a drum-set
70. get Disney Digital DVD "Beauty and the Beast"
71. fetch some tissues
72. practice ice spell
73. tell the necromancers to stitch the ghouls better up
74. get mithril armour
75. Valentine´s day next week
76. talk to Arthas about that Gundam idea
77. go to Iron Maiden live concert
78. kill rich travelers and take mony to buy headset for team-speak
79. take that orc-language class
80. call back Marlene
81. get your Backstreet Boys album back from Arthas
72. get snacks for "Friends"-Marathon
73. buy a puppie
74. create a new dungeon universe
75. tell the sceletons to stop playing xylophones
76. try new recipe for chicken wings
77. commandeer, rape, pillage, plunder and pilfer your guts out
78. visit new hot springs hotel
79. new Hulk comic comes out on the 5th
80. nvite friends for wintersolstice
81. fetch new torture instruments
82. wash teddybear with supersoft lavender-scented new conditioner
83. go ice-skating
84. get pirate costume for venecian carneval
85. build cool castle for Arthas
86. haunt already existing castle to make previous king leave
87. get extended version of Monty Python DVD
88. let some heads roll
89. kill that blood-elf
90try turkey sandwiches
91. design new toy line with lich-plushies
92. remind Arthas of the Evil Overlord List
93. take clarinet lessons
94. burn all the woods to prevent clarinets from existing
95. answer fangirl letters
96. get new Robbie Williams album
97. visit Oktoberfest
98. get drunk
99. build doomsday device
100. take out a patent on doomsday device
101. make an audition for new members
102. get a blacksmith
103. drink blood
104. bath in blood
105. wash the stains out of robe
106. stop smoking
107. start drinking
108. shoot everything that has feathers
109. exterminate the elves
110. finally make plan for world domination
111. get Arthas to move his ass to fulfill your prophecy
112. get chocolate flavoured ice cream
113. buy a gameboy
114. Pimp your ride
115. learn Riverdance
116. dress up for Academy Awards
117. steal the Mona Lisa
118. Summon the Kraken
119. buy lots of deodorant
120. lots and lots of deodorant
121. start brewing beer
122. read "Lord of the Rings" and determine what Sauron did wrong
123. make trip to seaside
124. kill everyone you encounter
125. Tell Arthas it was his own fault
