Drugs make everything better...

Chapter One.

"Fag. You know what we do to fags around here, right?" Alex laughed as he slammed me into the lockers. "I'm not a fag" I whispered back, but to Alex, I might've well as screamed it at him. "Your not a fag? So, you don't like guys?" he spat back at me. "No, I like girls" what the fuck am I doing? I know I'm fucking gay. Why am I talking back to him? Fuck. I'm going to die now. Oh great, and now a fucking crowds gathering around us. Even teachers are here. But of course they're not gonna get involved, the never do. Not for me anyway. "Sure, even if that was the case, I fucking hate you, so nothings gonna change about the fact that I'm gonna beat the fucking shit out of you, faggot." he said as he kicked me in the knee. I just stood there, but moved my leg a little. "Didn't that hurt?" Alex asked. "No" I whispered wretchedly. STOP FUCKING TALKING, JUST SHUT UP FRANK, YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF. "Well, I'll change that for you. You hurt yourself anyway, right? Your arms are always covered in cuts." he laughed as grabbed my arms. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow, "please let go of my arms" I was screaming at him through my mind. Then he picked up his fists, and smashed them down into my jaw and forehead. Fuck, ow. He kneed me in the stomach as laughed as he moved away and watched as I sunk down to floor, my bag spilling open and spreading my books everywhere. The teachers must've decided this was boring now, because Ms Ono (she's chinese or japenese, I can never remember) stepped forward and said "Okay, that's enough now Alex, go eat your lunch. Iero, go to the bathroom and wipe your face" but Alex didn't leave, not until he'd spat on me and said "See you tomorrow, fag." and kicked me in the back. The crowd slowly dissolved and left me by myself to pick up my stuff. "Um, would you like some help?" just ignore them Frank, they'll probably help you put all your stuff away, then flush it all, like everyone did nearly all the time. I picked up my lunch box and diary, then pencil case, and as I was pushing it back into my school bag, I noticed that the person who had offered to help was kneeling on the floor, picking up my books. "Please don't flush them or burn them or something, I've already had my daily beating. Please, just this one time" I begged. I could feel the burn of tears behind my eyes and the lump in my throat appear. "What?" this guy laughed. Fuck, now I'm really gonna get it. "I'm not gonna do anything to you or your books, I just want to help. I just started this school, I'm Gerard, what about you?" this guy, who I now know is called Gerard, said, his hand outstretched towards me. "Um, I'm, errr.. Frank." I said, feebly reaching out and shaking his hand. Ow, fuck. What's the weird liquid feeling on my arm? Shit. My cuts better not of opened. Fuck, they have. God, no. "Hey, is that blood on your hand?" Gerard asked. Woah, he sounds like he's concerned, or some shit, I dunno, no-one really cares/has ever cared. "Um, yeah. It's..My.. er, pen broke." "Right. You keep a red pen in your jumper sleeve? Seems legit...Do what me to look and see what damage has been done? I did first aid in my last school? And dude, your lips busted. You know that, right?" So many questions, stop with the questions dude, you just met me. "Yeah, I know my lips busted. And so what if I do keep red pens up my jumper sleeve? You just moved here, you don't know shit about what goes on in Jersey" I said defensivly. Shit, I shouldn't of done that. Wow, he had really nice eyes. They look green in one glance, but the next they look brown. And his face looks really smooth and soft.. Wow. I wish I could look that good. But I know I never will, I'm ugly as fuck. My old boyfriend told me different, but then he left me and told everyone that I forced him into the relationship and shit.. so he can't of meant it. "Calm yourself, Frank, I only asked a simple question. And actually, I've always lived in Jersey, but now my mums forcing me to come to school, she said she can't stomach seeing me all day everyday, and I need to get an education, other wise I'll grow up to be even more of a dumber-fuck" he chuckled. WHY IS HE LAUGHING AT THIS? HIS MUM CALLED HIM A DUMB-FUCK, AND HE'S LAUGHING. What even? Well, if my mum said that to me, it would be the nicest thing she's ever said to me. "Oh, right. Look, you probably don't want to be seen talking to me. I'm gay, so everyone will just, I don't know... Beat you up probably."
"Oh, your gay? Nice. Me too. Well, not nice, cause like, you just said you get beaten up for that shit, so um... Fuck. I know what I mean."
"Yeah, I know what you mean" W-w-w-what? He's gay? What? I'm smiling. Frank, stop. Frank stop smiling. You look so much worse smiling. Stop. "Aww, you have a cute smile" What? "Um, sorry, I didn't mean..to..wait, what?"
"You have a cute smile" he said, plain and simple, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I've only just realised, but he's put my books back and done up my bag. "So, shall we get your face cleaned up? Or do you like having dried blood spread all over your chin?"
"Um, yeah"
"You like having dried blood on your chin?"
"Um..no, I mean..I-I-I want to get cleaned up.."
"Oh, I'm so thick sometimes" he said with a slanted smile. God, he has such a pretty smile. He offered me a hand up, so I accepted. Fuck, ow, he put his fingers on my wrist. Shit, fuck, he has blood on his fingers. "Um, Frank?"
"Yeah?" I said, acting like I was completely oblivious to what was going on. "Your cuts are open" HOW DID HE KNOW I CUT MYSELF? IS HE A FUCKING MAGICIAN? "W-what? What cuts?"
"The cuts on your wrist. And arm, probably, they've come open?"
"It's just my red pen." I said, as we walked towards the bathroom, we pushed open the doors and oh, thank fuck. No one's in here. "Sure, red pen. Listen, Frank, your not the only one who's self-harmed." he said as he rolled up his sleeve. There were about 14 cuts, but they were healing and the scabs were sewn up. "Why are they sewn up?" God, that makes me sound so stupid. I ran my hand under the tap and wet my hand, then wiped my mouth. "Stitches" he answered, like it was the most casual thing in the world. "Why?" I asked. Why can't it be simple to understand what he's saying? "Cut too deep. I was rushed into hosital, they had to sew them up otherwise I would've bled to death." Fuck, and I thought I did it deep. "So, like, can I see yours?" he asked after I'd dried my face on my sleeve. "Yeah, sure, but there like only pussy scratches" I told him honestly, as I rolled up my sleeve. "Fuck, they're pretty deep, well obviously not really, REALLY deep, but still some of the deepest I've seen. And there's so many of them! Fucking hell! Just, fuck. Here" he said as he pulled out some tissue and a bandage and some tape..stuff. "What, what, what are you doing?" I said, backing away from him in fear. Fuck, he's gonna give me a swirley but make sure I can't get my head out and drown... or something. "Hey, there's nothing to be scared of! I'm just gonna clean them and bandage them up! Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you! Come here" he said,ushering me to him slowly. I don't know why, but I felt like I could trust this guy, Gerard.

He put the tissues under the water. "Now, this might sting a tiny bit, sorry if it does. Just tell me to stop if it hurts too much, okay?" he said, and wiped the tissues over my bleeding cuts. Ow, fuck. "Okay, now I need to dry them" then he wiped dry tissue over them. "Okay, now I'm gonna bandage them up, alright?" "Mhm" I replied as he placed a pad, thingy, over my wrist, where the worst one's were. Then he started wrapping the bandage around them. The role of stuff finished and he placed two small pieces of tape over them. "Done, see, that wasn't so bad was it?"
"No, it stung a tiny bit when the wet tissues went over them, but y'know, nothing unbearable."
"That's a good thing it stung. That means it was starting to fight back against all the bacteria trying to infect the cuts, it means you wont get ill" he said, looking all smug. Wow, he's really pretty. Like, really, REALLY pretty. "So, Frank, shall we go eat lunch? I don't know about you, but I'm fucking hungry" he said, rubbing his belly. And as we turned to leave, Alex and all his friends walked in. "Oh, you look new, you must not now him. He's gay, don't talk to him. You look pretty cool. I'm Alex" he said reaching out to shake his hand. Gerard took a step away from him. "I'm not gonna fucking tear your arm off" Alex laughed, his arm still out. "Um, I don't really WANT to shake your hand, you homophobic fuck." Gerard said, taking another step back. "I'm gay. And you thought I looked pretty cool, Alex." Gerard smiled. "Gerard, just stop. You'll just get be-"
"Shut the the fuck up, fag." Ashely said (one of Alex's brainwashed homophobes) and pushed me into the cold, hard, metal sink. "Hey, what the fucks your problem?" Gerard said, stepping infront of me, protecting me from them. "Please Gerard, stop"
"Yeah, Gerard. Listen to your fucking boyfriend and stop acting hard. You're just a fucking fairy" Ashley laughed, completely un-suspecting of what was about to happen. Gerard kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying to the floor. Alex raised his fist to hit Gerard, and Gerard just kneed him in the balls, and when he fell to the floor, punched him in the face a couple of times. "If I'm a fairy, I'm a fucking bad-ass fairy." Gerard said, and I couldn't help but laugh. Wait, what? I just laughed. I haven't laughed since.. since.. I can't even remember. What the fuck is this guy doing to me? "C'mon Frank" Gerard said and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom. "Why did you do that? Your just gonna get it, like, 1000 times worse" I said as I started wringing my hands. "Well, you shouldn't get beaten up just cause you like things other people don't..In the same way.. Basically cause you don't like girls doesn't mean you should get beaten up" he said as we paced towards the canteen.

Chapter Two

Turns out, we have pretty much the same timetables. Apart from art. He's in a ridiculously high group for art. It's like, the best of the best. He's with all the kids who are taking art as GCSE courses. I could never draw that well. I still draw stick men. But I'm alright at drawing dogs and the Misfits skull cover art. In every lesson, he sits either next to me, behind me or infront of me.

In English, the room was suddenly filled with the sweet smell of pot. I was too busy breathing in the smell of the plant that I love so fucking much, I didn't realise the two new girls standing at the front of the class. I jumped when I opened my eyes, and I could hear Gerard's quiet giggle. "Class, these are our two new students, Arizona.."
"Um, it's Ari actually, I hate the name Arizona." the girl with black hair, blue, well red from the pot, I'm guessing, eyes, pale skin and Misfits top and black hoodie on said. "Fine, Ari and Kymberley. Please make them feel welcome. Ari, sit next to Frank, he's the small one with the blonde sides in his hair at the front, and Kymberley, your next to Gerard, the tall one behind him." I could here a few laughs and a couple of people shouting 'Unlucky' as she sat next to me. I coud here Gerard making conversation all ready, trust him. HIS first day, and he's already making friends with the kids on THEIR first day. "So..er, hey. I'm Ari, as you probably guessed" Ari said, sounding relaxed, obviously from the pot. "Yeah, Hi. I'm Frank."
"Sorry about the smell, we were late from smoking a couple joints and a bong.. And watching Pewdiepie on Youtube."
"Seems sweet" Is all I could say. I mean, I could've said that I smoke too, and that I also love Pewdiepie (which I do) but all I could manage out was 'seems sweet.' The fucks wrong with me today?
"Hey Ari?" I heard Kym whisper. Why's she whispering, everyone else is talking, and the teachers asleep. Which is why I love double english. I would normally just have my earphones in and in my own world. Thinking about when I get home, I have three bags of sweet smelling leaf waiting for me. "Yeah?"
"Is it all right if Gerard comes over after school? I mean, I've asked him and he'd said he'd love too.."
"If that's all right with you" Gerard added. "Umm, yeah it's fine, I mean, I don't know why mum would care. She's probably pissed or out getting high. So yeah, sure! Frank, wanna join us?" Ari said, and Gerard, Kym and Ari turned to look at me. Fuck, I can feel my cheeks going red. It's like I'm a Freshman all over again. Being laughed at by all the bigger kids because I coughed after I took a drag from my first cigerette. "Yeah, I'd love to" I whispered and turned to face forward. "Sweet. Oh man, we can get so fucking stoned. Hey, your Gerard Way, aren't you?"
"Umm... yeah, why?"
"Oh my god. I've, like, totally met you before! I used to come round all the time to get pot off your brother, Mikey!"
"Fuck, that's you? You've changed so fucking much! What happened to your blonde hair and green jeans and yellow hoodie that you ALWAYS used to wear? Fuck man! We were such good mates!" Oh, okay then. Gerard and Ari know eachother. I guess Kym must feel as awkward as me, not knowing anyone apart from Ari, but obviously I only know Gerard. And fuck, I've only known him a couple hours, yet I feel like I could fucking trust him with my life. "Oh my fuck! That's you?! Gerard, you've changed so much! You've got a bit of a tan for a start..It's me, y'know, Kym Watson? I had blue hair when I used to come round with Ari"
"Fuck, sweet! Oh.. Fuck yes! You guys were like my best mates!" Or not. Great. I'm the loner again. "Hey Frank, I swear I've seen you around before? Like, at the park and stuff with the blonde guy and the guy with the afro?" Shit. They weren't my friends. Well, they were. I mean, Ray (the afro guy) was the one I went out with, and Bob (the blonde guy) was like his fucking cling-on mokey or some shit. Where-ever Ray went, Bob was with him. "Oh, yeah. They moved to Chicago like last year"
"Fuck, me and Kym just moved from Chicago, didn't we Kym"
"Uh-huh!" Oh, so maybe it isn't so bad. And oh, the end-of-day-bell-thing went. "Well guys, I say we go to mine and get royally fucked up!" Ari said, as she threw her book and pencil case in her black Pink Floyd messenger bag. I put my things away slowly, and was just putting my bag on my back when they were all standing up. I've never had this many people want to see me. Not that Gerard or Kym do, but I think Ari might, maybe. Or maybe they're just gonna drug me then kill me. FUCK! That's what they're planning! That's why Gerard offered to help me earlier, so he would gain my trust, and that's why Ari started that conversation with me earlier. Or maybe they do just wanna get stoned with me. "Hey, guys?"
"Yeah?" they said as we walked down the hallway to the open doors, with hundreds of other kids filling out the door like they were in a meat grinder. "Umm, your not gonna, like...er.. drug me then kill me or something are you? Not that I care.. I mean, my life isn't really worth living but.. like, yeah. I'd rather know now so I can write down in my letter to my mom what I want at my funeral" they all looked at eachother then burst out with laughter. Ari actually had to put her hands on her knee's to stop her from falling over. "Ohmyfuck! Frank, you're fucking hilarious!" but Kym must've noticed that I wasn't joking, because she suddenly stop laughing and told the other two to 'shut the fuck up, morons'. "Frank, we're not gonna kill you. We only wanna get you stoned! You don't have to come with us if you really don't want too. We're just gonna go to mine and Ari's smoke some weed, listen to music and eat and maybe drink some WKD" she said, and reasuringly put her arm around my shoulders and smiled at me sweetly. "Yeah, we're not muderers. And if we were gonna kill you, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't waste our weed on you!" Ari said, wiping tears away from her eyes, walking next to Gerard out the school gates. My face suddenly fell, so maybe just Gerard and Ari were gonna kill me AND Kym. "Shit, Frank I'm joking. Were not gonna kill you, I think you're pretty cool"
"Yeah, me too."
"And me" Gerards voice pitched in. Fuck, his voice is so.. beautiful. I bet he has a great singing voice. "So Frank" Gerard asked, siddling up next to me while Kym skipped forward a couple of paces to catch up with Ari. "What do your tattoo's say? The one's on your hands?"
"Oh, these one's, when I put my fingers together, spell out 'BOOKWORM' and these one's say 'HALLOWEEN' cause that's my birthday" I said. "I've always wanted tattoo's, but I have a huge, and I mean, like, MASSIVE fear of needles" he said, looking either sad or thoughtful, I couldn't tell. "We're here! Come in" Kym called, from what I gathered to be Ari&Kym's house. Me and Gerard walked in. "Just dump your bags and whatever here. Oh, and take your shoes off" Ari said, as her and Kym dropped their jumpers, bags and shoes in the middle of the hallway. I carefully stepped out of my shoes, then put my bag down, and then rested my jacket on my bag. I was the only one who did it neatly. It's not that I'm a clean freak, I just prefer if things are... presentable. We trailed behind Kym and Ari into a room that when you opened the door, you were kind of slapped in the face by the smell of weed. "Come in, sit where ever. The black beds mine, and the purple one's Kyms" Ari said as she paced over to her bed and sat down crossed legged, with her back against the bat made out of black, twisted metal that was the headboard, where as Kym sat with her back against the wall. Ari's side of the room was pretty much all black, apart from a red bed-side table and a desk with a mirror and make-up and a hairbrush put neatly on the left side. The other had about five piles of cd's (each with about 9-10 on each pile) on it. Their was a spinny, blue computer chair and a black laptop in the middle of the desk. Kyms was pretty much the same, but her bedside table and desk was black, whereas the rest of her side of the room was purple, and instead of posters (like Ari) Kyms walls were covered in pictures of her with what I guessed was family. In the middle of the hundreds of pictures, there was one of Kym, Ari and what I've gathered to be they're mum and dad and gran and grandad. The rest were of Kym with friends and animals and a couple of bands playing live. On Ari's bed-side table was a bong, 17 reseable packets of weed, spliff papers, normal papers, baccy, a couple of needles and tablets labeled 'ONE AT A FUCKING TIME, THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO GET HIGH' and a lighter and lighter gas fluid, and a lamp and a picture of man that I realised was her dad. "So, do you guys have different dads.. or..." I asked, I felt kinda harsh for mentioning it. "Yeah, my dad died a few years ago, Kym stays with hers at the weekend" Ari said, as she reached under her bed and pulled out four bottles of purple WKD. She passed one to me, one to Gerard, and as she went to pass one to kym, Kym said "You know I hate the purple one's" and made Ari go back under the bed to get a blue one. "Thank you" Kym said as she caught her bottle, and they both ushered for us to sit down. Gerard ended up on Ari's bed and I ended up on Kyms. "John Lennon okay with everyone?" Ari said as she got up and turned on the CD player, in the middle of the back of the room. "Yeah!" we all replied. Who the fuck is John Lennon? I've only ever listened to rock or heavy metal. Those three started humming along to, what I later found out was 'Imagine', as Ari rolled us all a joint and passed one to Gerard, put one on her lap and made Kym get up to get ours. Kym lit ours as she was over that side of the room, and as soon as I took a drag, I felt my head go a little funny. I felt the usual feeling of weed fluttering through my veins and cradling my body, and relaxing me. And that was when I realised this was gonna be one of the best Mondays of my life. We were late for school everyday that week, and I was always late home.

Chapter Three

On Saturday, I woke up earlier then usual. Well, early for me. It was 12:45 , but y'know.. Still early. I decided to go to Gerards, I figured we could go to Ari's, seeing as she'd be alone (Kyms at her dads, and her mums..out). I knocked on his front door and his mum (I think) answered. "Oh.. um, hi. Is G-g-gerard in?" "Yeah. GERARD! GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" I heard a fumbled noise and then some swearing, and then Gerard appearing at the top of the stairs. He was dressed and everything, in his skin-tight jeans and American flag t-shirt and black leather jacket, but he still hadn't brushed his hair. "Oh, hey Frank. Come on up" "Oh, um o-o-okay..." I muttered as I stepped through the door and climbed the stair way, to the top, where I saw one door open and Gerard sat leaning against the wall. "Shut the door after you" he said lazily as I walk/tripped through his door, very ungracefully. I did I was told. "So, er, I was, like, thinking we could go round to Ari's? Y'know, cause she's alone and all..." I stuttered. "Yeah, lets go now, if I stay in this fucking house any longer I swear I'll cut again..." he said as he reached down next to his bed and slipped on a pair of black Air-walk trainers. "I'm going out, maybe out all night. Not that you care" Gerard called as he slammed the door. "I fucking hate her sometimes" Gerard said as we paced quite quickly to Ari's, which was only a five minute walk from (what seemed like) everywhere. We knocked on the door, and heard some banging and a little rolling noise, then Ari say 'Ow, fuck' and then she prised open the door. "Oh, hey guys! I wasn't expecting anyone over... I kind of ermm, yeah. Whatever, it doesn't matter, come in!" she said with a huge grin on her face. Ari was still in her pyjamas, black leggings with white moustache's on them and a black and deep purple top with barbed wire on it, but when she opened the door, I noticed that she quickly pulled the sleeves down, and I could see certain parts of it starting to look damp and sticking to her wrists. As we walked into her room, I noticed there was a small trail of red sploges on the floor, and a blade and tissue splayed out all over her bed. She, like, ran over to her bed and pulled up the covers, covering whatever it was on her bed. "So I'm guessing you guys wanna get stoned or high or..?" She asked, reaching for her bong, a packet of weed, her lighter and papers. "You guys should know how to roll by now, so go ahead" she said as she put the flame next to the pipe-thing bit and inhaled, then breathed out smoke. I almost didn't notice Gerard place the joint in my lap, and then Ari throw the lighter at me. I placed it in my mouth and breathed it in, then out. By now I was used to Pink Floyd, John Lennon, Bob Marley, all the usual stoner music, so I wasn't suprised when Ari put on Pink Floyd - The Wall, and sat back down. "Ari" I heard Gerard ask about 10 minutes later. "Yeah?" she replied, blowing out smoke as she did-so. "You know there's blood dripping onto your leg, right?" "Shit, fuck..Shit..." Ari said as she reached under the covers for some tissue and rolled up her blood-soaked sleeve, smearing blood all up her arm. She hadn't tried to kill herself or anything, she just wanted to cut. Plain and simple. I know she's not suicidal. It's just if your stressed, and you cut, it can feel so good. I know it sounds weird if you don't do it, but it can be so relaxing after you've slit open your arm, and feel the thick, warm substance slowly trickle down your arm. It's weird. Kinda sadistic, but very theraputic. She placed the tissue over it, then pulled her sleeve back down, sliding her thumb back through the..well.. thumb hole. Gerard just nodded and took another drag from his fag. By now, we were all completely stoned. But then Ari pulled this small sachet thing of white powder and placed it on the bed. Then another two and grabbed a book, already with a slight layer of the dust on it. "You guys up for it?" she questioned. "Oh my fuck! I haven't done coke for atleast three weeks now! Lets do this!"Gerard almost shouted. He was fucking extatic over the fact that we were about to snort coke. Coke. Coccaine. I've never done coccaine before. I've seen people do it before, like on Scarface and shit, but I've never actually done it. I was kinda shocked, and I realised I was just staring at the packets, open-mouthed. "Frank? Hello...? Earth to Frank?" I heard Ari slur. "You up for it?" "Um.. yeah! Completely I've just, er... never actually.. You know, done coke before.." I said, I could feel my cheeks turning red and my face going hot. "Hey, it's fine! If you don't want to, you don't have to. But if you want and just don't know how, watch me and Gee first" she said, and emptied a packet out one the book. She placed her nose just above it, and moved her head whilst she.. well.. snorted coke. Then I watched Gerard do the same. "You see, it's just that simple" Gerard said touching my leg. He emptied out the sachet and handed me the book. "You sure you want to do this? I mean you don't have to..." But before he could finish he sentence, I grabbed the book and snorted it. I could feel the weird powder creeping up my nose and seeping into my blood stream. I don't think anythings ever felt so good. "So, anyone up for some heroine?" Ari asked, now turning around to grab three, long needles. "No man, I can't handle needles.. I have this fucking massive phobia of them. They just creep the fuck out of me.." Gerard stuttered. "It's fine, I have this, like, numbing cream that you put on your leg and you can't feel anything.." "No, I wouldn't be able to watch..."
"It's fine! I can do it for you! You wont have to look or anything"
"Oh, well fuck yeah!" I just sat there and stared. Me and my old boyfriend, Ray, used to smoke weed and take abit of acid every now and then, but I've never been stoned, high, and then whatever the fuck heroine does to you.

"Fuck it's cold! Fuck fuck, so cold!" I heard Gerard whimper. I hadn't even realised that they had their trousers down. Not much, but just above their knee's. "Okay, so just tell me when you can't feel you leg" Ari said as she turned to face me. "You joining in Frank?" "Yeah..yeah, I just..Yeah, whatever..I..It doesn't matter" I stuttered. "You know Frank, you can say no if you dont want to..." Ari said, but then went quiet after I sent her a joking-around death glare. "Just pass the fucking needle" I said, but I didn't really want to do it, I just didn't want to look like a fucking pussy infront of Ari and Gerard. If it was just me and Gerard, then I wouldn't of taken the coke or heroine. It's just infront of Ari, she looks like the kinda friend who would laugh at you, take it herself then be all like 'Oh, it's okay, you do what you want to do...' and just, yeah. She takes drugs like it's her fucking first nature. It's the same with Kym, but Kym seems more gentle and kind. Not that Ari doesn't seem kind... It's just... Ugh. I know what I mean. So, I just, kind of stabbed it through my jeans. I mean, I'm not getting my legs out. No, never. Not for anyone. Except Gerard... Fuck! Did I just think that? I've known this guy four days, and I'm already having sexual fantasies about him. I mean, the other day I even rubbed one out, looking at a picture of him on my phone. I took it of him, cause he said he wanted to see what it looks like when you just don't breathe in and let it float around everywhere... I pushed the plunger of the needle down, releasing the liquid into my body. I quickly pulled the needle out after it was done and threw it in the bin. "Fuck. Why's the room spinning..?" I asked, I couldn't keep my eyelids from fluttering down to cover half my eyes. "Okay, I think Franks a bit fucked... Time we start? Not fucking... I mean, with the needles..." Ari said, quietly laughing at herself. Gerard joined in the little laughing thing, but I couldn't. I felt so fucking high... I felt like I was floating. If I pass out, I swear.. I will never do Coke, Heroine and Weed all at the same time ever again. Well, I say that.. I'll probably do it again tomorrow. Shit, I think I'm gonna throw up. "Guys! Guys, I'm gonna be sick..."
"Oh fuck, I can't handle sick. If he's sick, I'll be sick" I heard Gerard say, but obviously on too many drugs to actually care that much. "He's gonna pull a whitey, that's all. It's not actually sick, just like this weird, liquidy stuff" Ari said all matter-of-factually, passing me the black, metal chain bin, with a plastic bag in it. "Frank, what have you had to eat today?"
"Nothing" I said, spitting into the bin. "Drink?"
"One glass of water" I said, starting to retch. "It's all good Gerard, dude. It's only gonna be water and a bit of white, liquidy stuff"
"Oh, thank fuck for that" Gerard mumbled, as he breathed in the smoke from Ari's home-made bong. And just as Ari had predicted, the only thing that came up was water.. and white, liquidy stuff. "You okay Frankie?" Gerard said, as he rubbed my back and took the bin away from me. "Yeah, I think I just need some water" I said, looking at Ari. "Okay, I'll go get some"
"I'll come with you...I need a drink too!" Gerard said, literally throwing the bong at me and running after Ari.

Seeing as I was all alone in Ari's bedroom... I decided I needed a few supplies. I mean, mine were almost gone, and Ari has so much, she wont miss a small bit of weed and some papers going missing, right? So I opened a draw on the desk thing, and grabbed two bags of pot, two needles and some pills labelled 'The Fucking Bomb.' and okay, two bags of coke and something with LSD written on it? Whats LSD? Oh well, I'll find out later, and I shoved them all in my jacket pocket, along with a John Lennon lighter that I found. Fuck, the draw looks pretty empty. I heard them walking back up the stairs and shut the draw as quietly/quickly as possible, and sat back in my original position. "Hey, um, I gotta go.. I'll probably see you in a bit Frankie, thanks for having me round Ari, remember, not until AFTER I've left the door, and you can see me through the window, okay?"
"Okay, see you in abit Gee"
"In a bit gee" I called even though the door was closed. Ari changed the cd and put The Cure in. I fucking love The Cure, haven't actually listened to them in a while. She looked out the window and I guess she saw Gerard, sat back down and handed me the water. "Okay, so, Gerard really likes you!" I nearly spat my drink back out, but I have manners, so I swallowed it, and coughed for about a minute afterwards. "What?!" I said, I couldn't help but let a smile spread right across my face. "He really, REALLY likes you! He said he thought you were pretty cool on the first day you met, and he never stops talking about you in Art! He says you've got beautiful eyes and a very drawable complexion. He also said you have, like, a perfect body." Ew, what? I have beautiful eyes? No. I have a perfect body? FUCK NO. I'm fat. My family tell me enough. I never feel right in my own skin. Ever since I was about 7 I've never found a place I felt I feel, and never really met anyone who I thought gave a shit.. And now I'm 16, and still think the same. Apart from around Gerard, Kym and Ari. They seem like they actually care, and I sort-of always feel relaxed around them. "Really? He said I have beautiful eyes?" "Uh-huh!"
"And a perfect body?"
"And a very drawable complexion!" Ari said. Why was she so fucking happy? I mean, I'm fucking exstatic, but why is she? "Well, Gerard has, like, amazing eyes, and a beautiful face, and I think he's fucking perfect... I've thought that since I first laid eyes upon him. I realized he was more beautiful then anything else on the planet. He just, I would date Gerard Way. I really, really would" I admitted. Woah, I've never EVER admitted my actual feelings to anything, not even writing them down, or whispering them into my pillow at night, I just keep them all locked away in my head. And they, like, eat me from the inside out. And then I strum a few chords on the guitar and I feel better again. "And I would date Frank Iero" Gerard said, stepping in smiling. WHAT? SINCE WHEN WAS HE BEHIND THE FUCKING DOOR? I THOUGHT ARI WASN'T ALLOWED TO TELL HIM UNTIL SHE SAW HIM LEAVE? HOW COULD THEY FUCKING DO THIS TO ME. I could feel my face turning hot, and I knew I was going just as red as my eyes. He walked over to me casually, stood infront of me for like, 3.2 seconds, and then placed his slimy, pink lips on mine. Then, I felt his hands reach to the back of my head and start to run themselves through my blonde bangs. I think Ari fell off the bed, cause there was this loud bang, then Ari saying "Ow, fuck." But at this moment in time, I didn't care at all. And then I had to pull away, because skin-tight jeans really don't hide anything. "Awwwwwwwwwwwww! Oh my fuck! Oh my fuck! Awwwww my god that was so cute! Okay I'll shut up now.. I think celebratory Bongs for all!" Ari said, reaching down for one neon green bong and a neon orange one, she already had her neon pink one. "Three cheers for sweet... Frerard! Oh my god, that's totally what I'm calling you two from now on!"
"Okay Ari, calm yourself women!" Gerard said, raising his voice jokingly. So that's what happened until seven, when me and Gerard had to go. We smoked and drank, and laughed and shared stories, and passed out for like twenty minutes, then waking up not knowing what the fuck happened, then remembering and like dieing of fits of laughter that lead into a fit of coughing and phlemgh. But through the hole thing, Gerard kept smiling at me, and me smiling back. "Thank-you so much for having us round Ari, same again tomorrow?"
"Fuck yes! See you in abit guys" Ari said, and she sounded, like, suddenly all depressed and sad and shit. And then I remembered that her mum probably wasn't coming back at all tonight, and she'd be home alone all day, until tomorrow morning, when her mum would get back and probably hit her. Did I forget to mention that? Ari's mum and Ari's mums boyfriend beat her. If she has friends home, if she doesn't have friends over, if she's late home, if she's early home. If she speaks to fast or slowly, they find a reason to hit her. One of the reason for a black eye and a chipped tooth was because Adrians glass of water was, like, one centimeter away from the top. "Shit, um Ari, do you, like, wanna stay mine or something? It's just.. er, cause of.. um, y'know, your mum and Adrian..?" her face lit up. Like literally. Her dull, sad blue eyes were suddenly brighter then the sky ever fucking gets in Jersey. It was like someone had switched on a light behind her eyes. It made me really pissed that her own mother had taken away that spark. The same person who carried her around for 9 months, then gave birth to her and, hopefully, looked after her for a few years. But I doubt she looked after her as a baby. So can you grow up if you weren't raised? I don't know, to much thinking. "Yes! Oh my fuck! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou Frank!" she squeaked as she ran over to me and hugged me. "Your the best!" she whispered and kissed me on the cheek. "Uh-huh, thanks" I said, a slight grin creeping onto my face. "Okay, I'll just pack my stuff, and then we can go!" Ari said, as she grabbed her school bag, tipped it upside down (spilling the contents of it everywhere, which included a few bloody tissues, a blade, some used needles and a lighter, and also school books) and she reached on the floor, grabbed a pair of black skinnies, a Bob marley top, a Nightmare Before Christmas hoodie, pants and socks. And then she threw in her make-up, hair brush and tooth brush. "Okay, so, I er.. Need to get changed, so if you put your shoes on, I'll be down in a sec!" we heard her call as we trailed down the stairs. Me and Gerard just stood staring at eachother, with stupid grins on our faces and then Gerard stepped forward, pinning me against the wall and brushed our noses together. "Hey Frank" he said and breathed a laugh. His breath was warm against my slightly chilled skin, and it sent a shiver down my spine. "Hey, Gee" I said as my nose rubbed against his, and then our lips touched, only slightly, but that was because we heard Ari trip out of her room then roll down the stairs to land at our feet. She had red vans on, what looked like a black military jacket with shiny buttons and white strips on it, also and Eminem top and black skinnies. "Seriously, how many pairs of skinnies do you own?" I asked, helping her up. "Ow, alot" She smiled. "Okay, shall we go or are we just gonna stand in my hallway?" she said and we squeezed through the door. Gerard parted on his own journey back to his, not after a quick kiss with me and a hug (which involved Ari being picked up in the air, then placed back down softly) and 'Bye guys, see you tomorrow!'. "Okay, so I've got shit loads of weed, a bit of Ketamin, some coke, two bottles of vodka, four WKDs and two bongs. Oh, and lighters and a few albums? Is that okay?" Ari said. "Yeah, oh man. Tonights gonna be perfect" and just as I said that, everything sort of flipped upside down. Kinda like Ari's bag earlier. "Hello, faggot! Oh, and who's this? Oh my god! This is the skank that lost her virginity at 10! Hahhahahahaha! Oh my fuck, this is gonna be good." Alex laughed, as he walked over to us and pushed Ari over onto the grass. "I didn't lose it by enjoying it, I was raped, you fucking dick" Ari spat back, literally spitting on him as she got up. "Oh, doesn't change anything, you dirty whore"
"Hey, leave Ari the fuck alone! She's never done anything to you!" I said. My lip was still healing after Tuesday, but he didn't dare touch me when Gerard was near, cause Gerard, well, he kinda busted his nose. "What? Sorry, speak up? I couldn't hear you from all the way up here, short-ass freak" he said and kicked me in the stomach. That's when I saw something that suprised me even more then Gerard on Tuesday. Ari dropped her bag, kicked Alex in the back of his knee, sending him flying to the floor and hitting his head on the table behind him, then she started kicking him in the ribs and stamping on his chest. She stopped just before Alex started coughing up blood. "You fucking leave me and Frank and EVERYONE the fuck alone, or I will fucking kill you. I don't care about going to prison, nothings going in my favour out here anyway. Fucking homophobe" she said, and we walked started to walk off (after she picked up her bag) but Ari still had one more thing to say. "Oh yeah, and tell your dad thanks for the twenty, but I don't think I'll be seeing him again. His dick is fucking tiny, and it stinks of cheese" and then we ran to my house. I don't know why we ran, this happened on my doorstep. Well, pretty much my doorstep. Not literally my door step, but the little park on the other side of the street. We fell through my door laughing like we were mentally retarded seals or something. "Fucking hell Ari! Your just...Oh god!"
"FRANK? DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING FRIEND OVER?" my fucking mom called from the living room. "Yes mom, only one, and she's staying the night"
"IT'S A SHE? WELL, MY FUCK. I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FAGGOT, BOY. Good thing me and your father beat that bullshit out of you a few months ago"
"Yeah, well, okay, were going upstairs"
"You'll have to use your money to get your dinner, I only cook for me and your father, you know that"
"Yes, I haven't forgotten, mom" I called, and pulled Ari upstairs. As we reached my room, I scanned it for somewhere Ari could sleep. "Frank, I'll just sleep on the floor, it's fine. Or we could top 'n' tail, I don't care, I just really want to get stoned. Shall I put on some John Lennon?" and that's what we did, until about half eight, then we trailed to Mcdonalds, and spent nearly fifteen quid on food. It wasn't our fault we had the serious fucking munchies. Then, back at mine, we smoked alot more and drank and did coke and heroine and all until we passed out, sprawled out all over my bed.

Chapter Four

When we woke up in the morning, Ari was on the floor, half under my bed, half in like, starfish mode on my black rug. I kicked Ari gently in the side and she shot up, hitting her head very, very hard on my metal bed frame. "OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW FUCKING OW!" I couldn't help but laugh at my friend. "I need weed to make the pain go away" Ari said, reaching for her bong. "Yeah, drugs make everything better" I said, as I held the orange bong in my hands and breathed in. "FRANK, A GUYS HERE FOR YOU, HE SAYS HIS NAMES GERARD, I SENT HIM UP SO YOU TWO BETTER BE FUCKING DRESSED" me and Ari just died of laughter, causing us to then die of coughing. "Wow, you guys look fucked" Gerard laughed as he came in and sat at the end of my bed. "Yeah, um.. weed." was all Ari could reply. "Here, have mine Gerard, I need a shower" I said as I walked out of the room and towards the shower.

After my shower, we all decided to go to the park... But not without about 20 joints pre-rolled. When we turned up at the park, turns out there was people there that go to Ari's old school. "Oh my fuck. Is that you Ari?" we heard people call, and then those people running. They finally reached us and pushed Ari over. "So, still a fucking druggie?" they asked her laughing. "And who the fuck are these two? Since when did you get bangable friends? Scratch that, when did you get friends?" said the girl at the front. She was fat. And when I say fat, I mean (by estimate) about 14 stone. I have nothing wrong with fat people. I fucking love fat people. They just eat all the time and don't give a fuck about it. But her, I fucking hate her, and she's only said two sentences. "Fuck off Myron, you fat shit" Ari said as Gerard helped her up. "Who said you could get up?" one of the skinny people from the back said. Then this really short boy, Ben I found out his name was, came running over shouting 'ARI!' and jumped on her, hugging the fuck out of her. "OH MY GOD ARI I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ARI!" good, she needs to know people do love her, and not everyone hates her. "BEN I'VE MISSED YOU TOO! I LOVE YOU AS WELL BRO!" Ari said, hugging Ben back then letting him go. "Ugh, Ben, why the fuck do you like this worthless shit?" the skinny one said. All in all, the group was made up of Myron, three really skinny, short girls, one tall skinny girl, two boys (not including Ben) and one really tall girl, who looked our age. "Georgia, shut the fuck up. I love Ari, she's my sister.. well, like my sister. Basically my sister" okay, so one of the skinny girls is called Georgia. "Oh, alright dude's?" Ben said to us. "Alright?" Gerard said, then he looked at me. "Oh, um, hi?" I said, more of a question then anything else. "So, whats you guys' names?" "I'm Gerard, and this is Frank" Gee said for me, cause my brain has seemed to put a lock on my mouth, probably in self-defence, cause if I say the wrong thing I'll probably get beaten up. "Sweet, nice to meet you Gerard and Frank! Listen, Ari, I've gotta go, I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH! And Georgia, Megan, Ocea, Grace, Emily, Myron, Beau and Kane, leave Ari the fuck alone. See you soon Ari" Ben said, giving Ari one last squeeze then running off again. "Well, now Ben's gone..." Ocea, one of the skinny, short girls said. "We can get back to beating you up!" she said. You could kind of see the fear in Aris eyes, but not really, it was hidden under all the pinkness from the weed. Beau held me back and Kane held Gerard back, while the girls started punching Ari and pushed her over. Obviously, there wasn't really anything me and Gerard could do, because we can't hit girls. It's fucking wrong to hit girls. Or anything with a vagina, in my opinion anyway. After Ari's nose was bleeding and her sleeves were up and cuts torn open, the girls and boys started laughing and then walked off, like nothing had happened. Ari got up and just kind of stood there. "Well, now you know one of the reasons I moved schools" she said. "I need weed, you guys want one?" Ari said, reaching in her jean pockets and taking out three doobies, lighting them up and handing them to us. "Sorry we didn't get involved, those guys have a pretty strong grip, and it would've been hitting girls. I'm actually so so so so sorry, you get in enough at home" Gerard said, hugging Ari. Blood was running down her arms dripping on the grass, staining some of the blades red. "It's fine, I wasn't expecting you too, I was just waiting for them to get bored" and that was true. She hadn't moved or flinched or let out any noises. The only noise she made was a bored sigh when Myron first sent her fat fist flying into Ari's face, and then another one when they pushed her over. Ari's phone started ringing, filling the air with the sound of John Lennon's 'Give peace a chance'. She picked it out of her pcoket and answered. "Hello? Oh, hey Kym. What, why are you home so early? Mums pissed off with me? Oh okay, I'll be back in five, love you too. Hey, don't sound so scared! Just remember, stay in our room whilst we argue" Ari obviously liked protecting Kym from seeing her get hit by her mum and step dad. She told us yesterday that she 'used to get beaten up for kym, I don't want anything to ever hurt her. She fucking self-harms enough'. "Well, Frank, shall we goes yours so I can get my stuff?"
"What? Oh, um, yeah.. s-sure" I replied. It was a silent walk home, with Gerard holding my hand and with his other arm over Ari's shoulders. We walked into my house, Ari got her stuff, and just before she left, I said to her "I'm coming with you."
"Me too" Gerard added. "Okay, but you have to be silent, and make sure Kym can't hear ANYTHING but you two, okay? Oh, and help yourself to anything in my room, I'm getting more later, but save alot for me" and then the journey to her house was silent, too. As we walked in, Ari ordered us to go upstairs with Kym and tell her I'm here and I'll be up in a minute. I had to sit by the door and Gee had to hold Kym so she wouldn't go downstairs. Ari came up twenty-one minutes later, with a cut down the side of her face and tear stains flooding her cheeks, mixed with blood. When Ari walked in, Gerard let Kym go and she ran over to Ari, jumping on her, wrapping her arms and legs around Ari and then kissing her on the cheek that wasn't cut. "Ari, I love you so much! What happened? Are you okay?" "Yes, I'm fine! I just tripped over Adrians shoes, I'm so stupid sometimes!" she laughed, hugging kym back. And then, well, we did what we always did. Got stoned, and me and Gerard were late home.

That night, Gerard stayed at my house, and it was the best night of my life. I kinda lost my virginity.

Chapter Five

When we got home, we both ran to my room, avoiding my mum and dad. We just got back from Mcdonalds, so we werent hungry. Me and Gerard were lying on my bed (next to eachother) just talking, and then he started running his hand up and down my leg, whilst staring into my eyes. Then, he put one hand behind my head, and the other around my back and pulled me into a kiss. His soft lips stretched across mine, and he ran his tongue over my teeth and up and down the side of my tongue. When we broke apart, I couldn't help but let my hand float down towards his, well, dick. 'Undo them' he whispered, and put his lips back on mine. I fumbled about with his belt-buckle, and I could feel him laughing in my mouth. I finally undid his belt buckle and jeans, and he moved his hands off me and pulled his trousers down, then he very gracefully undid mine. He finally released his lips from mine. 'So, do you have anything...' he said lying on top of me, which kinda hurt cause I was,like, hard and he bent it backwards. 'No' I whispered, I felt my cheeks flush and my face go violently hot. 'Hey, its okay! Dont worry about it! Me and Ari kinda pre-planned this, she gave me some stuff' he said, flashing me one of those heart-breaking smiles, that was sending me crazy. He really was beautiful. 'Oh, okay' feeling slightly relieved. He lent back and pulled a condom out of his back pocket, and rolled it on. He was hard to, so it was easy. 'Remember, if you want me to stop, just say or pull my hair or some shit' he said, as he lent back down and started kissing/gently biting my neck. He lined up, and pushed in slowly. I could hear little pleasure noises leaving his mouth as he carried on chewing lightly at my neck. It was totally making me even more turned on. I could probably just come everywhere just off those noises. There was this amazing/slightly painful burny-stretchy feeling as he entered me, he had so done this before. I let a small pained moan leave my lips, and I could feel him smiling. He slowly pulled out and pushed back in again, speading up this time. Our breathing was reduced to short, snappy jolts, and he had his head resting on my shoulder. 'Oh,fuck. Ugh, fuck. Just, urghhh' Gerard started mumbling in my shoulder, and I just, sort of agreed with him. 'Uhhh, mm, yeah' I managed to breathe out. He had sped up now, and I was slightly worried as my bed had started making small, squeaky noises, if my mum walked in now, then we were fucked.. Ha, kinda ironic. 'ugh, oh my god, Frank, I'm, I'm gonna, ooh god' he breathed, and came inside of me. 'That was.. wow' I muttered, whilst Gerard was lying ontop of me, breathing very quickly. I ran one of my hands through his white hair and smiled to myself. 'Wow, your good' I whispered in his ear, and started nibbling on it. He smiled again, I could feel it. 'So, what about you?' he said, his breathing calmed down now. 'Huh? What do you mean?' I said, confused as fuck. 'What do you wanna do, I mean, I've, like, finished, so how do you wanna..'
'Oh, OH! Um, I don't really.. it's up to you..' I said, feeling stupid and embarrassed again. 'Well, I could go down on you..?' he said as he started to move down to my dick and had his mouth on my bell. 'Yeah, that would be fine...' I trailed off as he wrapped his lips around and started sucking. Oh god, he was so fucking good at this. I've jacked off before, but no-one's ever SUCKED me off, and it was fucking great. 'Oh god, Gee' I moaned, and I could feel him smiling around my cock. He slid his mouth up and down and lightly rubbed my balls, and I started moaning. 'Gerard, I'm gonna...oh fuck, Gerard, Gerard.. ugggggggghhhhh Gerard' I let his name stretch out on my lips as I empited myself in mouth. He had pulled back just enough to taste me as my spunk flowed in his mouth. He, like, tasted it (or some shit) for abit, then spat it out in my bin. We both pulled our trousers back up and got under the duvets, lying front to front, our noses slightly touching. 'I love you, y'know Frankie? And I don't.. WON'T let ANYTHING hurt you anymore, I promise.' he said, staring into my eyes with the sexiest serious face I had ever seen. 'I love you too, Gee... and as long as you don't get hurt or die in the process of that, yeah?' I said, and a slight smile spread out across his lips. 'I promise' I heard him murmur as we both drifted off to what we be the best sleep of my life, so far.

Chapet Six

Ari wasn't in school on Monday, but Kym was. 'Hey Kym, where's Ari?' I said to her. It was double english (we have it a few times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays and a double on Friday) and the teacher was asleep, and everyone else was laughing and talking and completely ignoring us, apart from some quiet 'Fucking faggots' and disgusted noises as me and Gerard occasionaly smiled at eachother and rubbed our noses together. 'She said she wasn't feeling to good, so she went back to sleep...I hope she's okay..' Kym said, looking worried as fuck. 'Im sure shes fine' Gerard said, rubbing Kyms back in a re-assuring manner. Is it weird that I was slightly jealous of one of my best/only friends right now? And then Kym got a text. She read it and her eyes started to fill with water. She suddenly dropped her phone on the desk like it was covered in spiders. Gerard and I read it, and then we looked at eachother, then at Kym, and then we knew what was going on. The text was from her mum, and it simply said 'Aris passed out on the floor with a note, probably dead.' me and gerard packed our stuff and Kyms stuff for her (she had started crying) and lifted her up, and all three of us walked out of the class, and the school. We ran back to Kyms, throwing our school stuff on the floor when we barged in, and ran upstairs. Just as Kym and Ari's mum (Demelza) had said, Ari was lying on the floor, with a note in her hand. Kym ran over to Ari and flung her arms around her, crying so hard her and Ari's bodies were shaking. Me and Gerard walked over and took the note. It said 'Tell Kym, Gerard and Frank I love them...Drugs make everything better. -Ari.'

'I love you too, Ari. So long and goodnight' I whispered, and looked down at Ari. I guess I found something slightly beautiful about death. I mean, something so tragic and life-ruining made Ari feel so much happier. And that's when I realised,

There was a small smile on her face, and that made me smile. I guess drugs do make everything better, to a certain extent.