Aftermath

Damn this ficverse won't bloody well leave me alone, I thought I had it all out of my system after Cue and "One Drunken Night" but no. I'm back to it, with a slight difference this time.

Summary: Reno's been hospitalized, now his closest friends gather with the get well cards. Reno x OC(s)

Disclaimer: I don't own FF7, its characters, its locations. Nor do I own all the OCs


Three people in dark navy suits were sitting impatiently outside the Midgar hospital operating theatre. A pyrrhic victory for the Turks, a mission that succeeded and went badly wrong at the same time.

AVALANCHE was gone, along with the slums of sector 7. There was no way to escape the falling plate, at least not without trying to jump off the pillar which was in itself, a death sentence. But not without a fight.

"He…can't be gone, can he?" One of them said, a young women in her twenties, little over 5 foot tall with emerald hair and cranberry red eyes. Her name was Akalara, current 'friend with benefits' of Reno Sinclair.

"Shh Ak. They're still working on him right now." Her friend said, trying to comfort her. She was the elder of the two, long brown hair with a red streak. This was Kandi.

"…" Rude just sat there, completely silent.

"Look Green girl, I know how you feel about this, he was, no, he still is one of my best friends as well. Your not alone with this shit." Kandi tried to comfort her friend.

"…"

"Hey, baldy! Say something will ya? I can't keep her from turning emo on my by myself."

"…He'll pull through." Rude said eventually.

"See? What did I tell you. He's gonna be fine. If he wasn't so tough he wouldn't be in the Turks." Kandi said, patting Akalara on the back to give her support.

"…She's right Akalara, although no-one has done this to Reno before we're trained to survive the worst. You know that too. You were trained as one."

"Yeah and soon afterwards I get dropped to a fucking bodyguards position. Who's only role is to be the frumpy git's shield and fuck-buddy." She moaned.

"I thought you said he was good?" Kandi said with a confused expression on her face.

"I'm trying to get back in the Turks here Kandi. Its bad enough they consider me 'surplus to requirements' but I'm not gonna be watching his 20 layers of black and white coats for the rest of my life. If I can get on his good side and then use that. Then I'm going to."

"That is one evil plan Ak. Can't you use it to become president or something. You know, off his old man then off him so you get the whole shit."

"Come on I'm not… oh I see." Akalara said, rounding on Kandi.

"What?"

"I know what your trying to do here Kandi."

"Saw right through it…" Kandi sighed.

"Yeah. But thanks anyway, I needed that."

"Anytime bitch."

"Don't call me a bitch."

"Or what?"

"Or else."

"Or else what?"

"Exactly."

The silence returned to the waiting room, the tone having lightened slightly but there was still tension. The emergency bulb went out, the three looked up expectantly when the doctor came out.

"The operation was a success. Your co-worker should be coming too in a few minutes. Although there was a complication that we didn't see." The collective sigh of relief held seemed to be premature.

"What was it?" Akalara asked.

"His EMR. It was found in the lower areas of his large intestine. I'm afraid to say his gluteus maximus will never be quite the same again."

"In Midgarian?"

"Whoever did the damage to him also shoved his own weapon up his anus."

The trainee Turk and head of the IT department burst into laughter, using Rude to support her. "Do you mean that…AVALANCHE shoved his rod up his ass?" She said between fits of giggles before rolling on the floor laughing. When she regained a bit of her composure she turned to her friend "Why are you not laughing? Its fucking hilarious!"

"I'm just a relieved for the moment. That's all. Plus it's a waste of a perfectly good spanking ass if it went numb from the electricity."

"Didn't need to hear that." Rude grumbled in the corner.


"Ugh…" Mumbled Reno as he opened his eyes, his arms and legs all in casts.

"Hey fire crotch."

"Ak? Where…where am I?"

"Midgar hospital, you took one hell of a beating."

"I did?"

"Shit, you haven't got amnesia have you?"

"No. If I did, I wouldn't know who you were, although you're pretty damn hard to forget." Reno said, Akalara smiled as Kandi's trademark streak came into view.

"So I guess the man with a tazer up his ass is back."

"Whoa, what happened with a taser and my ass?" Reno asked, confused.

"I'm not saying anything. Oh by the way here's your EMR back." Kandi said, tossing the weapon to the bed restricted Reno, trying not to snicker.

"Why does my weapon smell like shit?"

"Well that's because its been exposed to someone's, how's your ass Re?"

"Now that you mention it, like the rest of my body its in extreme…pain… OH THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING!" Reno shouted trying to get the EMR to roll away from him. Rude picked it up with a gloved hand then threw it out the window where it landed on the head of a disgraced former second class SOLDIER. Then Rude immediately disposed of the glove into a medical waste bin.

"Reno…" Ak whispered as she went over to hug the injured Turk.

"Don't cry Ak. I'm gonna make it, sure we won't be able to have proper sex in a while and my fingers are out but I still got my tongue if that counts for anything." He said jokingly, as the green-haired women started to squeeze slightly.

"I thought I'd lost you Re."

"It'll take a lot more than that to take me down Ak. Sorry I gave all of you a scare."

"Now we'll just have to kick ass for you now Reno."

"What, you think I'm not going back into the Turks after this? You nuts? You really think Tseng's gonna let a bunch of armatures run around like they own the place?"

"He lets you get away with it."

"Shut up garbage disposal."

"Electro-ass."

"Honeybee." Kandi's jaw dropped. Oh no he didn't. "Just kidding Kandi, no need to pull out a gallon of soda from your jacket and pummel me with it."

"…We have bigger things to concern ourselves with." Rude said, before turning away to leave. He had been paged to report to Tseng's office.

"Listen to the big man. Just Girls…"

"Yeah?"

"If by some weird chance the people who did this to me are alive. Whatever you do, don't mention fake breasts."

"Why not?" Kandi asked.

"You'll find out." Reno said in a serious voice.

Ah. Random April the first update. One-shot for whoever guesses who the disgraced second class Soldier was (Evidence of Sephiroth's humanity needed). Reviews are much appreciated.