"Remus?"

"Hmm"

"Where d'you think they get the tea?"

"Um…" It was at this stage that Remus Lupin put down his book and decided to pay attention to what exactly Sirius was saying. Did he just ask about tea? Nope he still didn't know what Padfoot was prattling on about. "Huh?"

"Tea Mooney wooney tea!" the black haired boy repeated while waving his 'come ride my motorbike' mug in the young werewolf's face. "You know, the stuff humble hot water becomes when it meets the understated genius of a teabag. That sweet dark elixir created for dunking biscuits and warming hands while its deliciously musky aroma seems to wrap its comforting arms around you. It's…"

"Ok Sirius ok I get it, you really like tea, while that's fantastic and everything why the sudden interest?"

"Think about it Mooneykins, have you ever heard of a wizarding tea plantation? What are the chances that some wizard somewhere could not only afford to buy a large enough area to set up a plantation and be able to pay the ministry to make it unplotable? Do you've any idea how much those wards cost? Not to mention all the paperwork, red tape and queue's and then set up costs and managing to get enough house-elves to harvest the tea and do all the other stuff. Why bother with all that when you can buy it off muggles for probably a whole lot cheaper? Even if there was wizarding tea do you really think old Dumbles would fork out the extra cash when half the students here couldn't tell the difference between a good cuppa and dishwater?

"That's… a very well thought argument Padfoot, surprisingly, but again back to why do you want to know?"

"Oh just contemplating the mysteries of Tea" replied Sirius with a smirk, he got the 'yeah right' eye-roll from Remus for that.

"So how do you think they get enough for Hogwarts? Do they just put in an order for 20,000 tea bags and get a muggle to deliver it? How do they find the castle? What sort of address do they give? 'Big Freaking Castle in the middle of Scotland that you can't actually find'? And wouldn't the muggle have to be obliviated afterwards? Do they get special tea for Divination or do they just rip open the bags and pour out all the leafy stuff?"

"Ha can you imagine some poor UPS man wondering why he's stuck in the middle of nowhere with an empty truck?" Remus snorted.

"Remus, what's an UPS man?

"It's a type of muggle monster that eats motorbikes and tea" Remus deadpanned.

"Cool!"

"Can you imagine reading your future from a cup of Lyons? Oooooooh what's this I see? A sodden bag awaits you in your future!!!" Both boys were by now holding their sore sides, laughing at their banter.

"Hey Mooney, tea bagging!!" Sirius managed to exclaim before bursting into another fit of giggles, it some minutes before realising his were the only sounds of mirth. Looking up he looked into the bewildered face of his friend. "Hey Remy don't you know what tea-bagging means?" a smirk crossed Sirius's handsome face, "you don't do you?" At Remus's uncertain and slightly nervous "um" Sirius's smirk turned into a leer. "Would you like to find out Mooney?"

Not too far away a delivery man was having a nervous breakdown, three years of making deliveries he never remembered, yet were signed for were taking their toll. Especially seeing as he always seemed to have the taste of lemons and tea in his mouth afterwards.