Taking a shot at comedy. This chapter won't be that funny, cause its just introducing, yada yada yada.

This is a prequel to Little-Alice-Vampie's Wife Swap. Good reads there, REALLY funny. She's my friend in RL and she wanted me to do this, so here it is!

I don't own Edward ):. Or any of the other characters for that matter.

BPOV


I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe Alice would do something so humiliating, so stereotypical as entering us in a beauty pageant. Sure enough, one of us would win, but what is so fun about it? Walking around in frilly tutus singing showtunes? Strutting the stage with nothing but a bathing suit on? This was going to be the most humiliating week of my life.

She signed all us girls up…. And Emmett, Jasper, and Jacob. Jasper was clearly pissed, his emotions were bouncing off the walls, EVERYONE was pissed. But Emmett was a different story. He was running around the house – frolicking is the better word to describe it – singing "I'M GONNA BE A BEAUTY QUEEN!" Jacob was about to rip Alice's head off. The only reason Edward isn't going to be joining us is because 1. He read her thoughts in time to find a thorough excuse not to, which is 2. Take care of Nessie. And Carlisle because he had to work. It's at times like these where I wish I had an excuse.

"You SIGNED US UP FOR A BEAUTY PAGEANT???" I yelled at Alice, whose face was hadn't changed even though I practically made her deaf in BOTH ears.

"Yep!!!!" Alice said with enthusiasm. Emmett was still frolicking. Idiot.

"Alice…." I started to try to talk her out of it.

"Nope, the deal is done, Bella. No backing out. Ha, lucky I learned to forge your signature in time." Alice chirped. She was going to pay.

"Fine. I'll enter your beauty pageant. But don't think you're not going to pay for this." I said between my teeth. Alice's smile widened.

"If you can get passed my visions." Damn. I forgot about those. Maybe I'll make Jacob think of an idea for me.

"C'mon guys, we're going to be late!" Emmett yelled, way too excited. Suddenly I felt anticipation. Jasper. I growled in his direction.

"That isn't fair!" I growled.

"Oh, and you think it's fair when I get all the emotions from you and Edward when you're in your cottage having 'alone time'?" Jasper shot back. Emmett burst into laughter.

"Oh, so THAT'S why you throw yourself at Alice every night!" Emmett said, giggling. If I could blush, my whole face would be red right now. Emmett nudged my arm.

"Okay, let's get into the car! PLEASE!" Alice begged. Too enthusiastic. I gave Edward one last kiss and I hugged Renesmee. I was really going to miss them. "Come ON Bella, STOP fantasizing about Edward and GET IN THE CAR!" She was already starting to bug me. One week of sharing a room with her is pure torture.

"I'll see you in a week. We love you." Edward whispered, and I let go of his hand. I stepped into the yellow Porsche that would lead me to Hell.


So, what did you think of that? It's gonna get a LOT funnier as the chapters go by, i promise (:.

--VampireLovex3