Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.

A/N: So, back when I did Love Me, Love My Cat and Love Me, Love My Dog, bswindle20 wanted a Ninja story more like the Bullet story, and so did I. Finally, here it is!

Steve McGarrett groaned as his companion thrust a leg between his and rubbed up against his crotch. "I want you inside, now," she purred in his ear.

Steve was barely capable of rational thought, but he managed to get out "Me or the house?"

"Both," she said, running her tongue along the rim of his ear.

Steve fumbled with the door and finally managed to push it open. He and. . .(what was her name, anyway? Oh, yeah, Janet). He and Janet tumbled inside.

An inhuman screech assaulted his ears. Janet pulled back, startled. "What was that?"

Steve flipped on the light to reveal an angry black cat sitting on the floor, licking his tail and glaring at Steve. "Oh, that's just my cat, Ninja. I must have stepped on his tail. Are you okay, buddy?" he asked the cat, who just glared some more and stalked off.

"You have a cat?" Janet did not sound thrilled.

"Two, actually." He had a sudden, horrible thought. "You're not allergic, are you?" His last date had been, and it hadn't gone well. He'd actually been optimistically hoping for a second date, too. Not that that was an issue here. He and Janet were just out for a good time, a little mutual pleasure and then they'd go their separate ways. So, the fact that he had cats wouldn't get in the way of that, right?

"No, I'm not allergic," Janet said. "I just don't like them very much."

"Don't worry, they won't bother us," Steve assured her.

Just then, Janet let out a squeal. "Ouch! What's that?"

Steve looked down and saw his kitten, NJ, climbing up Janet's leg. "Oh, sorry, that's my other cat." Steve plucked the kitten off and placed him on the couch. NJ leapt off and disappeared.

"He ruined my stockings!"

"It's okay, they weren't going to stay on long, anyway," Steve said with a leer. He slowly slid his hand under Janet's dress and up her thigh to the waistband of her hose. "In fact, why don't you let me help you out of those?"

She put her arms around him, cats apparently forgotten. "Good idea."

Steve slid the hose off, and she stepped out of them. He slid his hand back up and felt for her panties. Sweet Jesus, she wasn't wearing any. He moaned and stroked his hand between her thighs, feeling her wetness.

Janet let out her own moan. "Don't you have a bed?" she said huskily.

"Oh, yeah, good idea," Steve said. He led her upstairs to the bedroom and flipped on the light. There, curled up together in the middle of the bed, were Ninja and NJ.

Janet frowned. "They're not going to stay there, are they?"

"No, of course not," Steve said hastily. "I'll just put them out and close the door." He scooped up NJ, then Ninja. Ninja stalked off once more, but NJ darted back in and under the bed. Steve bent down and pulled the protesting kitten out, depositing him in the hall and shutting the door in his face. He turned back to Janet and smiled lasciviously. "Now, where were we?"

She leaned back on the bed and spread her legs, hiking her dress up. "Here, I think."

"Oh, yeah." Steve pulled his shirt over his head and approached the bed, working on his belt as he moved. He started to crawl over Janet when an ear-splitting yowl pierced the air. A second followed it, and they continued, alternating in a discordant chorus.

"Can't you shut them up?" Janet said.

"They're just unhappy. They'll be all right."

"They're driving me crazy," she said. "I can't fuck with all that howling."

"I promise they'll shut up in a bit," Steve assured her. As if to belie his words, the howling got louder.

"Can't you put them in the bathroom or something?"

"It's attached, it'll just be worse."

"The kitchen, then."

Steve sighed. He really didn't want to do that to them, even for the sake of getting laid. "I'll just let them in. They'll be quiet."

"Okay, fine," Janet said grudgingly.

Steve got up and let the cats in. They darted under the bed. He finished removing his pants and lay over Janet, naked. He kissed her deeply and slid her dress over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra, either. He moaned in appreciation, fondling the tempting mounds of flesh.

She reached between them, fondling him. "I need you, now," she said.

Steve lifted himself up and reached for the bedside drawer. He felt and soft thump as NJ landed on the bed. Steve scowled. "What are you doing here? Get down, now."

NJ ignored him, eyes fixed on the tantalizing new toy dangling in front of him, tail twitching. He pounced and dug sharp claws in his prize. "Ow!" Steve yelped.

Janet started to roll out from under him. "This isn't working."

Steve pressed down on her, stopping her. "It'll be fine," he said. He rolled on the condom and positioned himself. Just as he started to thrust in, a weight landed on his back, startling him. "Hey!" He peered over his shoulder to see Ninja standing on his back, kneading it. "Get off!"

Ninja ignored him and settled down, looking for all the world like he was curling up for a nap. Steve bucked his hips. "Off!" Ninja shifted slightly but did move. Instead, he started purring. Steve collapsed down on the bed with a groan.

"Okay, that's it," Janet said, pushing him off her. "I'm out of here."

"They'll leave us alone," Steve said weakly as she pulled on her dress.

"You keep saying that, and you keep being wrong." She marched out of the room. Steve hastily pulled his pants on and followed her.

"Let me at least drive you home."

"That's quite alright. I'll get a cab." She turned to him before she walked out. "Call me when you get rid of the furballs."

Steve bristled at that. "I don't think you'll be hearing from me, in that case."

Janet shrugged. "Suit yourself. Wish I could say it's been fun, but it hasn't." With that, she disappeared into the night.

Steve looked down at the two cats winding through his legs. "That's okay, you're better company than her any day."

The cats just purred.