Prologue
Lieutenant Commander Eliana Marie Sanders. The name still didn't fit the woman, or that's how she felt at least. To herself and her parents (most likely), she was still "Little Lena". She was never supposed to be this big girl, all grown up in the Alliance Navy. It was never the role she had intended on filling. It was a lot to consider and think about. A part of her mind still wanted to tell her to turn back, despite the years and work she had put in.
Sure, it had been a year on this day that she was officially given the rank of LCDR, but it still felt like just hours ago she had been given the position. She was still reeling over the fact, especially since this mission would be one of her biggest, personnel-wise. It could be a way for her to reach higher.
Only a few hours ago, Captain David Anderson had informed her that he wanted her on a shakedown run for the new SSV Normandy. The turian Spectre, Nihlus Kryik, was supposed to be present. And to add the metaphorical cherry on top, the human candidate for a Spectre position, Lieutenant Commander John Shepard, was also supposed to be there. Anderson hadn't gone into complete detail about the two, as it was common knowledge who they both were. Nihlus was simply known due to his Spectre status. But Shepard had been taught as a living legend in the N7 program (before Eliana dropped out). Of course, he had quietly informed her of the task of trying to make Shepard the first human spectre, but that had to be kept secret, so she had to act like she never knew that bit of information.
The funny thing was, everyone had been taught at some point in their lives about John Shepard. He was a man who had been one of the few survivors of a brutal attack on Mindoir, a border colony in the Attican Traverse. Apparently he had been sixteen when his parents and sister had been slaughtered by batarian slave traders. The details were always apparently "too awful" to go into detail. Then he was praised for his ability to become some "war hero". His squad had literally been outnumbered nearly ten to one on Elysium, every member having at least ten batarian slavers focused on them. Shepard had taken charge and risked his life for his squad, somehow making it out alive. He had been awarded praise and medals for his duty and valor.
And due to this, plus his N7 training, he was ranked mentally higher than Eliana by any and everyone.
Eliana had never been one for envy, it simply wasn't a logical choice for her. Emotions had no place in the navy. But due to her inability to finish the grueling N7 program, and her inability to take charge of most situations in her youth, she had paid dearly. All she had wanted was to rise in rankings just enough to matter. That's all she ever wanted. She had never mattered when she lived at home, not to anyone but her parents at least. She wanted to make a difference and to do that, you needed to matter. And John Shepard mattered.
She had risked her life for her CO ten years ago. She had saved most of her fellow crew mates ten years ago. She had gone through the worst of emotional turmoil one could conceive ten years ago. She had been some nobody, who's parents coddled her endlessly, simply because they were paranoid. She had risen from someone who would never matter, to someone who slightly mattered in a matter of eleven years. Yet, it still seemed like it wasn't enough.
She had never been given the chance like Commander John Shepard to prove she mattered.
A/N: Currently back into Mass Effect and realized how horrible this was overall. So I'm rewriting it to fit how I wanted it to go in the first place
-P
