AN: Day 5: Family
I had a lot of trouble coming up with an idea for this theme, until I realized "family" would be kind of a loaded topic for both of the kids with my headcanons. This is a lot longer than the other fics I've written this week. It's also a lot less happy. I'm also not 100% sure it… works, for lack of a better word? Use the review feature to tell me what you think.
WARNING: This fic contains discussion of implied child abuse and child abandonment.
The mood in the car was so somber even Chara was not smiling. They had both hands on the steering wheel, cruising down the winding rural road at precisely three miles per hour over the posted speed limit. Frisk was in the passenger seat, watching as dense forest gave way to grazing pasture and back again. They had left their home city some time ago, following the highway system further and further east. It would not have been odd if they hit the ocean soon. The sky was overcast, rendering the world in dull muted tones but it was not about to rain; the shades were all wrong for that. Frisk broke the silence, "So this is where you've been going every couple months." Chara made an "mmm" to confirm but kept their eyes on the road. Frisk continued, "I'm honored. Flattered, really. But… you know you don't have to. I know this is s'posed to be private for you, so-"
"It's fine," Chara said. "I'm bringing you because I want to, not because I think I have to." They had said this three or four times, but Frisk still could not shake the feeling that Chara would rather not have to make this trip. Maybe it was like this every time even when they were alone: they did not want to go, but felt compelled to.
They drove up to a wrought-iron fence, the gate open to allow entry though few appeared to have taken it up on the offer. At a glance one could be excused for mistaking it for a park; trees were planted liberally throughout the interior, a paved path weaving between carefully manicured patches of grass and alongside a scenic brook. But look a little further in and one would see the statues, the monuments, the buildings too small to be houses, all made of polished granite. From there it would not take long to realize the error in naming them: memorials, gravestones, mausoleums. And just like that it would make perfect sense that there were no couples walking hand-in-hand through nature, no joggers briskly exercising, no elders sitting at benches and feeding the birds. This was not a place for loitering. Only those with business were allowed. Chara turned the car and slowed to idling speed as they followed the path deeper inside. Frisk felt the air get heavier and more difficult to breathe the moment they passed the gates. As if the world stopped and time stood still in this place. Neither of them spoke another word for the few minutes it took to wind through the paths to their destination. Frisk did not notice when they arrived, Chara simply stopped the car and turned the engine off. They got out and motioned for Frisk to follow, which they did after remembering to grab the bouquet of white carnation, hydrangea, and gladiola entrusted to their care.
They walked within viewing distance of the car until they reached two nondescript headstones only a couple feet apart. Chara wordlessly reached out to the side and Frisk handed the flowers over to them. "I'm back again," Chara said into the open air. "Mother. Father." They knelt down and placed the bouquet in the grass, between the two graves. They let the silence reign for a moment longer and made no motion to rise. "I know it hasn't been that long, but I brought someone this time. This is Frisk Dreemurr, my datefriend." They paused and listened to the wind, then chuckled. "I know. After some of the things I've said you probably expected me to come back with a monster as a significant other someday. But Frisk is… different. Or maybe they just help me see things in a different way. They make me very happy, so please be kind to them."
They stood up and nodded to Frisk. "I'll let you have some time alone with them. I imagine you have a lot to talk about. Here." Chara handed over an old photograph of two people, a man and a woman, smiling. "I know you're better with faces than names." Frisk could see fragments of the person who would become Chara in the people depicted; the small nose and high brow on the woman, the ruddy complexion on the man's cheeks, and several other details besides. They accepted the photo and Chara clapped them on the shoulder, walking back towards the car.
Frisk had jumped at the chance to make this trip when Chara offered, but now that they were here it was a little nerve-wracking. They knelt down with both knees on the soft grass. "It's nice to meet you," they said with a cordial smile. Their gaze was trained on the photo instead of the stones. "Chara doesn't talk about you much. Try not to be mad at them, I know you both died when they were real young and they don't remember you that well. I think they're still not sure how they feel about you." They paused. Something dark and twisted bubbled up within them. They had gotten better at controlling these, but... they stopped smiling. "Chara wants to think of you as good people. They don't blame you for what happened to them. You couldn't have known what would happen after you died, or so they think. But you see... the thing is..." Frisk opened their eyes, wet with unshed tears, their irises a dash of bright crimson on an otherwise dull and dreary landscape. "I do."
There was no crash of thunder, no sudden gale to indicate the spirits displeasure, so Frisk continued, "You didn't live anywhere near Mt. Ebott. You moved away from... from Those People, as soon as you were able. You knew what kind of childhood they promised their grandchildren. Did you also know they would try to get custody and no one would stop them? Do you know what Chara went through, because you died before they could look out for themself? It nearly killed them, it did kill them, and it's taken this long and so much love just to get them close to where they were."
They were having trouble regulating their volume. If they were not careful they would start screaming, and even from all the way back with the car their datefriend would definitely notice. But it was so hard not to, with the couple in the photo smiling dumbly back at them like they did not have a single care in the world. "If I were still a dumb teenager maybe I could be grateful to you. Maybe I could say it was a good thing, because if they hadn't died and come back Chara would be over fifty now and I could never be with them like this. But I'm not that selfish. It wasn't worth it. My happiness wasn't worth their pain!"
Twin drops of water carved a path down their cheeks, though the clouds were not dark enough for rain. Frisk rubbed at their eyes, their breathing ragged and their throat sore. Chara must have heard that, they had to have, except they weren't coming, so maybe they didn't? In a raspy and quavering voice they cursed, "I don't know what your deal was, how it all happened, how much warning you got or anything. Maybe I'll never know. And I don't care! You brought them into this world and you left them to fend for themself! You owed your child safety! You owed them happiness! You owed them a good life, and you cheated them! Even animals know to look out for their children! How could you abandon-"
- me, they barely stopped themself from saying.
All the air left their lungs at once. Their jaw snapped shut. They shot to their feet with mechanical precision, spun on the balls of their feet, and strode back to where Chara was. If their eyes were closed Chara maybe wouldn't see how red and puffy they were. Maybe they could get in the car and drive back and Chara would never ask and Frisk would never tell and they would never talk about what just happened. They tried to put a smile on their face and a bounce in their step like they had not just chewed out Chara's birth parents and touched the third rail of their own psyche.
Chara sat on the hood of the car, poking at their smartphone with their thumb. As Frisk walked up and prepared a chipper greeting Chara looked up at them with a sympathetic, complicated smile. "Do you feel better, after venting a bit?"
They knew. They knew what Frisk felt, and they knew what would happen if they brought them here. Of course they knew, Chara and their other half were so attuned to each other they could finish each other's sentences. Why did Frisk ever believe they could keep this from them? Frisk shook their head, their smile crumpling like crushed-up garbage. They held out their hands and Chara filled them, pulling them into a tight embrace. "I didn't mean it," they blubbered. "It's all weird, in my head, it's, it's all mixed up, I can't, I don't even-"
"Yeah," Chara whispered, stroking their datefriend's hair in a smooth, calming rhythm. "I know. You never got to say it to their faces, right?" Frisk pressed their eyes into Chara's shoulder and sobbed without responding.
The orphan and the foundling stood there like that for a long while, the one weeping, the other comforting. A light breeze coiled around them, but otherwise they were left alone. No animals came by, no birds chirped to pierce the quiet.
"I'm sorry," Frisk said once their tears were under control. They sniffled and wiped their eyes on the back of their hand. "They didn't deserve that. It was meant for… yeah."
"It's not as though I have the right to get on someone's case for keeping stuff bottled up. Besides, those are just empty shells, long rotten. Their souls are long gone, so you shouldn't feel bad about saying whatever you needed to. They're beyond caring." Chara clapped them on the shoulder and showed Frisk what was on their cell phone. "Hey, there's a frozen yogurt place nearby rated one point nine stars. It's been some time since we've eaten bad food on purpose, how about we make a detour before heading back?"
"That…" Frisk gigglesniffed. It was true, they used to eat truly terrible food and complain about it together all the time. It reminded them both of the underground, where for a while they subsisted on crunchy spaghetti and burgers topped with glue, with spiders considered to be a treat. "That sounds really good." They knew they should put up more of a fight, after all the time it took to get here they had stayed less than ten minutes, but they honestly could not stand to be there another moment longer. Chara put their hand on the small of their back and led to the passenger side of the car. A moment later they turned the key in the ignition, drove back through the gate, and the world started up again.
