So, here is my first attempt at a fanfic…

I have been holding onto this for a while trying to decide if I was too embarrassed to post it here.

But then I thought, screw it! It's not THAT bad…and I published a less edited version on my Tumblr..

Many, many days later and some more editing and I'm finally publishing my first story on here.

Apologies if there seem to be some OOC moments, I'm still learning.

It ended fluffier than I ever imagined. Brain, what have you done?!

Anywho, without further adeui…


++Natsu++

Natsu and Happy made their way home after another crazy mission. Natsu was tired to his bones after this one and even a decent meal cooked by Mira hadn't put a dent in it.

After sitting in the guild hall, elbows on the table and head resting in his hands watching Lucy and Levy's mouths open and close for what felt like forever, he and Happy had left Lucy there in favour of heading home for some much needed rest.

The celestial spirit mage hadn't even noticed them leaving, that's how much she was caught up in her excitement about whatever it was they were blabbering about.

Natsu hadn't actually bothered paying attention to what they were talking about, but it was always something boring and nerd related with those two.

The fire mage stretched, yawning loudly and let his hands fall to rest behind his head as he strolled down the street leading away from the guild.

"I think we'll need a break after that one Happy," the fire dragon slayer mused, cocking his head to look at the blue winged cat flying alongside him.

"Aye" Happy saluted tiredly.

"Maybe we can do some fishing tomorrow, hey little buddy?" the fire dragon slayer flashed Happy with his best toothy grin.

Happy seemed to perk up a little at this notion, ears twitching and tail flicking. "We haven't fished in ages!" he agreed excitedly.

They arrived at their front door and Happy unlocked it using the key that he kept in the little green sack that he carried on his back everywhere they went.

"Home sweet home" Natsu sighed happily, pushing his way through the front door and spreading his arms wide.

Only, it didn't really feel like home to him anymore for some reason. In fact, if he thought about it, it hadn't really felt like home for a while now.

The fire mage scratched the back of his head absently, dismissing the thought with a shrug and proceeded to dump his travel pack on the floor of the untidy living room.

The pink haired slayer cocked an arm and after a quick sniff of his pits, decided that he should probably take a shower. It had been a while since he'd bathed and earlier at the guild his blonde best friend had screeched when he'd flung an arm over her shoulder, whining about how much he stank.

After bathing, Natsu sat on the living room floor, a towel wrapped around his waist as he rummaged through his pack for the souvenir he had brought home from their latest mission.

It was a single talon from the monster they had fought while trying to enter a cave up in the mountains. The fire dragon slayer had unceremoniously plucked it from one of the beasts feet after he, Lucy and Happy had knocked the ugly creature out with their awesome teamwork.

When she realised what he was doing Lucy had stood there pouting at him, hands on her hips as she complained that it was a cruel thing to do. But besides her weak protests the blonde hadn't attempted to stop him.

Once he had put his souvenir away the pink haired slayer oozed onto his and Happy's couch to lounge lazily and just stared blankly into space for a bit.

Even though he was super tired, the fire mage had already decided he didn't feel like sleeping at home in his -admittedly- uncomfortable hammock.

It didn't take the fire dragon slayer's brain long to realise that it was Lucy's soft bed with fluffy pillow and cozy pink comforter that he was craving. That oh so comfortable, soft bed that was rich with Lucy's comforting scent.

Yes. He could imagine it now.. falling onto it would be like falling onto a fluffy cloud.

Natsu and Happy would often sneak into Lucy's room through her window, burrowing under the soft covers for a nap. He always slept more soundly in her bed.

Happy didn't know this, but Natsu would always bury his face in her pillow, fluffing it up to get an extra large dose of her scent. To his sensitive nose she smelled amazing, better than anything else he had smelled before.

Just the thought of it made him extra sleepy and strangely excited at the same time, like something might burst out of his chest.

He had felt this way before, always when he was around the celestial spirit mage. Whether he and Happy were heading over to her place to pick her up for their next job or sneaking into her house to steal food or to have a nap, it didn't matter.

He smiled stupidly to himself at the thought.

Deep down, Natsu wished he could tell Lucy that he had these feelings for her, but she hadn't exactly given him any indication that she might feel the same way.

She was difficult to read that way.

Just then, Happy plopped down next to Natsu on the sofa, jostling him and interrupting his thoughts.

"Wanna go sneak into Lucy's bed Happy?" Natsu asked his feline friend with a cheeky grin.

"Aye, Sir!" Happy grinned back.

++Lucy++

The clack of heeled steps echoed off the pavement as Lucy Heartfilia made her way through the quiet, lamp-lit streets of Magnolia.

It was late. She had been talking with Levy for far longer than either of them had realised.

While walking the familiar route to her apartment, past quaint houses and shop fronts and along the side of the canal the celestial spirit mage found herself wondering at what point during the evening Natsu and Happy had snuck out and what they might be up to.

She guessed they had gotten bored, which made her feel a little guilty, not only because she hadn't noticed them slip away, but also because she hadn't exactly made an effort to include them in the conversation.

She and the solid script mage always seemed to get carried away when they started talking. Everything else would blur into background noise.

Hence why she was heading home so late at night.

Lucy had really enjoyed this last mission with Natsu and Happy though. It was nice to be back on a mission just the three of them, almost like old times.

She looked up to the starry night sky and an involuntary smile crept onto her face.

At one point during their battle with a large monster, her pink haired best friend had grabbed her by the waist to stop her from falling off a cliff's edge, which of course had sent her heart racing.

He had been so close, pulling her against himself tightly.. so close that she could feel the warmth radiating from his body against her skin. The celestial mage found herself feeling all flustered at the sudden memory.

"Oh Plue," Lucy sighed aloud, looking down at the little spirit cradled in her arms, "what am I going to do with myself?". Lucy didn't expect a response, but still, it felt nice to hear her own voice in the quiet, empty street.

She had made an effort to keep Natsu at a safe distance since that stupid crush nonsense she had put herself through a while back.

He had approached her shyly in the guild one day, a boyish smile on his face and a faint pink blush painting his cheeks, and had asked her to meet him with this weird serious tone in his voice.

Of course Lucy had gotten all flustered after that, due to something Mira had said earlier about him having a crush on someone. She had then run around like a headless chicken, freaking out for the entire day, suddenly realising that she had a crush on him herself and wondering what she would say when they met up..

Only, when Lucy arrived at the meeting place -feeling very nervous- the fire mage had revealed that he just wanted to borrow Virgo to dig up some stupid book.

Urgh!

She couldn't believe that she had actually thought that he might want to confess that he liked her or something!

The memory made her blush and grimace all over again.

The blonde had been so annoyed with herself and embarrassed at the time that she had reacted by slapping her pink haired friend hard in the face and running off.

Stupid Lucy, she thought to herself as she remembered how hurt and silly she had felt, as if Natsu would like you like THAT!

After that incident the celestial mage had resigned herself to the fact that Natsu just thought of her as a good friend, maybe even his best friend -besides Happy of course- but nothing more.

Her feelings had only gotten worse for her since Natsu and Happy had returned home from their year of training.

Her friends had left her behind, which had made the blonde realise even more how much she needed Natsu in her life. How important he was to her. How she really felt.

She had been so hurt and very lonely that long year.

The guild had been disbanded not long after they had left her with nothing but that stupid, poorly written note!

And just like that her whole world had been ripped out from under her. It was all too much with the loss of Aquarius still so fresh and raw, it still brought tears to her eyes thinking about it.

Lucy knew it was unfair for her to remain upset with Natsu for leaving. He had suffered too after all.

During the Tartarus incident he had been suddenly reunited with his long lost dragon father Igneel, only to lose him again almost immediately and this time for good.

All the fire mage could do was stare helplessly as Igneel fought, as he ultimately lost, and crashed to the ground after Acnologia's final blow.

Natsu, the boy who had an innate inability to sit still, who was always the first to rush into a dangerous situation to protect his friends, and all he could do was stand there, utterly helpless, and watch as his father died.

Even though she acknowledged all of this, it still hurt.

At first, when her two best friends had returned, Lucy had gone through a whirlwind of emotions.

Happiness and relief to see them both again, healthy and unhurt. Pain and anger at the memory of them leaving her. Sadness at knowing she would have to tell them that Fairy tail was no more..

Once everything had calmed down and the guild had pretty much been revived, she had slowly settled back into her old routines.

She, Natsu and Happy had even started taking jobs together again.

A part of Lucy wished that it could all go back to the way it had been when she had first joined Fairy tail, back to a time before all the trouble with Tartarus, before she had sacrificed Aquarius.

Before it had all become so painfully complicated.

But too much had happened and she knew that it was a futile wish.

Most of all, Lucy wished she could tell Natsu how she felt.

How much she had missed him that year they had been gone. How hurt and betrayed she had felt when they had left her like that! How lonely she had been. How she never wanted to be away from him like that again.

How much he meant to her.

But, being Natsu, he seemed completely oblivious to such things and Lucy didn't want to fight with him if she didn't have to. Natsu's happy-go-lucky personality had always been a source of immense strength for her and she really couldn't deal with losing that aspect of their relationship.

The celestial spirit mage sighed outwardly as she reached her front steps.

Guess I just gotta keep pretending I feel the same so I don't ruin our friendship, she thought to herself sadly.

Lucy sent Plue back to the spirit world and fumbled in her purse for her key in the darkness that enveloped the hallway outside of her apartment door, eventually managing to get the door open.

It was dark and quiet in her apartment, so she assumed she was alone.

At this point Lucy was too tired to bother having a bath or shower like she usually would, instead heading straight for her room, her mind wandering to her soft bed and how well she was going to sleep tonight now that she could finally get back in it.

Lucy threw her keys and bag onto her dresser and changed out of her clothes into some comfortable pink pajamas. She made her way over to the bed and peeled back the covers, only to find a pink haired boy and a blue cat curled up there.

She should have guessed something like this might happen.

Urgh!

Damn freeloaders! They were always sneaking into her apartment eating her food and sleeping in her bed!

Whatever!

She was far too tired to bother kicking either of them out or arguing tonight. Besides, they both looked kinda cute snuggled up all cozy under the covers that she didn't really have the heart to kick them out anyway.

Natsu looked especially cute tonight, a contented smile decorating his face in the moonlight. She silently wondered what he might be dreaming about.

Lucy carefully climbed into bed, leaving a decent gap between Natsu and herself. She tucked her legs in under the covers and lay her head to rest on her pillow facing him. One of her hands was tucked under the pillow and the other resting on top of it, just staring at him in the scattered moonlight coming in through her window. She could faintly smell pine scented shampoo, meaning he had at least bathed before stealing into her bed.

Gods she wished she could reach out and stroke his face and run her fingers through his spiky pink hair. She imagined kissing him, so passionately that everything else would fade into background noise, nothing else would matter but them and she would finally find the comfort she had needed in his arms.

The longing welled up in her chest and her heart ached. But she didn't dare, instead the celestial mage closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep almost immediately as the tiredness took hold.

++Natsu++

Natsu awoke suddenly from his dream about Igneel, his eyes flitted open, squinting as they adjusted to the soft light illuminating Lucy's bedroom, attempting to register the scene in front of him.

The fragrant scent of sakura blossoms mixed with a smell that was all Lucy had increased in intensity, tugging him out of his slumber and back into consciousness.

Natsu's cheeks reddened in surprise when he realised that Lucy was snuggled up in the bed next to him, much closer than he had expected.

How long has she been here?, he wondered.

No wonder her scent had gotten stronger.

She was lying facing him, eyes closed peacefully and lips slightly parted, the corners of her mouth turned up in a contented smile. The hand with her pink guild mark rested on the pillow in front of her face, fingers slightly curled into the pillow. The familiar pink emblem brought a smile to his face, he could recall very well the first time she had proudly shown it to him. At the time Natsu had pretended he didn't care, but it was definitely a fond memory of his, the day Lucy had officially joined his Fairy Tail family.

Staring at Lucy intently, Natsu noticed that her long golden blonde hair was untied and fanned out on the pillow behind her and some of her longer bangs had fallen onto her cheek. In the soft glow of the moonlight she was absolutely beautiful, heck, she was always beautiful!

Natsu found himself wondering why Lucy hadn't woken him and thrown him and Happy out of her bed. A slight pang of guilt clenched in his gut for disturbing her bed in the first place and he cringed inwardly.

He just wanted to get a good rest and he was always more refreshed after sleeping at her place dammit!

Natsu would often sneak into Lucy's bed while she was sound asleep, making sure not to disturb her, basking in her warmth and her unique smell. It somehow reminded him of strawberries and freshly washed clothes but more subdued, comforting and slightly sweet. Some nights, like tonight, the smell of Sakura blossoms would also linger from her favourite perfume.

On the nights Natsu snuck into the blonde celestial wizards bed, he always made sure to leave before she noticed he had been there.

But the fire mage found so much comfort in her closeness that he had kept it up for many nights.

This time, however, he must have been so tired that he didn't stir until now, until his best friend was already asleep next to him. For once the tables had been turned on Natsu and he was surprised at the embarrassed blush now painting his cheeks.

On an impulse, Natsu outstretched his own hand slowly and delicately brushed the fallen hair from Lucy's soft cheek letting his hand rest there for a moment cupping her face gently. She didn't wake, instead, a contented sigh and murmuring sound escaped her lips as she pushed her cheek further in his hand.

Natsu's heart was beating faster, she was so damn cute while she slept, god's help him! He had missed her so much while he had been away, missed these stolen moments while she slept peacefully beside him.

The decision to leave Lucy behind had been incredibly difficult for Natsu. He had justified it by convincing himself that if he could just get stronger he could protect her. He could protect everyone.

He couldn't stand to lose anyone again, the way he had lost Igneel.

The fire mage still felt guilty about leaving his best friend with that note, he knew he was a coward for not being able to face her, but he also knew he wouldn't have been strong enough to leave her behind otherwise.

When he and Happy had returned they had bumped into Lucy unexpectedly at the grand magic games arena. Natsu had been caught off guard momentarily, and all of the feelings that had accumulated in that year away from her had suddenly materialised as a huge toothy grin, spread wide across his face.

The sad smile Lucy had returned hadn't made sense to him at the time, Natsu had felt a pang of rejection coupled with a sensation of guilt, but he didn't let these emotions show on his face.

It had all begun to make sense, however, when Lucy explained what had become of Fairy Tail.

The pain in those big brown doe eyes while Lucy told him about everything that had happened -coupled with the sudden realisation of how alone she had really been- left Natsu feeling more guilty than he had ever imagined.

He just stared at her while she spoke, privately vowing to himself right then and there to make it up to her, somehow...

Natsu's first idea was to bring the guild back together. He reasoned this would be the fastest way to cheer her up, especially after seeing the effort the celestial mage had gone to, keeping track of everyone after the guild had disbanded.

Then, he had planned to stay by her side and attempt to cheer her up every day until she was back to her happy self again.

In these past few weeks he had done just that, but the pain in her large brown eyes hadn't completely left. The fire mage wondered what else Lucy might be hiding from him and whether she could ever truly forgive him for leaving the way he had...

Feeling a sudden surge of courage, Natsu straightened out his legs carefully under the comforter, his movements deliberately slow, so as not to wake her. He slowly edged his head closer to Lucy's, the pillow softly skimming his cheek as he moved, their foreheads meeting in a gentle touch. The fire mage stayed like this for a minute, eyes squeezed shut, inhaling her scent as deeply and as silently as possible. But it wasn't enough.

Before his courage faltered the fire mage angled his face downwards, nose brushing hers momentarily, directing his lips towards hers to meet in a gentle kiss.

Lucy's eyes flew open.

She pulled back from him with a jolt and blinked, chocolate eyes widening in surprise.

"N-Natsu?", the beautiful celestial mage whispered, shock plain in her tone.

Natsu just gawked at Lucy, her brown eyes blinking up at him, startled by his current situation and unsure of what he should do now.

Feeling like a complete idiot -he was just beginning to think that he had made the biggest mistake of his life- a scarcely audible "Sorry" had barely left his lips when Lucy flung her arms around his neck and crushed his lips against her soft ones.

Now it was Natsu's turn to be surprised, onyx eyes wide and staring at her petite face so close to his own, a faint blush warming his cheeks at their proximity.

A second was all it took him to compose himself and then he was kissing her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close, their mouths moving against each other with inexperience and enthusiasm.

Natsu slanted his head slightly, deepening the kiss. Her lips were soft and plump and he wanted to continue tasting her, exploring her mouth with his tongue. After a few minutes, though, they both had to pull apart, gasping for air, cheeks flushed and limbs a tangled mess under the sheets.

"Lucy.." the fire mage began breathlessly, but she quickly pressed a finger to his lips, gestured to a still sleeping Happy and said, "Shhhh".

Natsu grinned and rested his forehead against hers once more, hands now tangled in the soft golden hair behind her head. Lucy was smiling too. Her scent was all over him now and his heart was beating so fast he thought it might jump out of his chest.

They remained like that for a while, perfectly content in each other's embrace until Lucy broke the silence, "Mmm, that was nice," she murmured and then added shyly, "I've been wanting to do that for a while".

"Me too" he admitted, wondering why he hadn't done it sooner.

Lucy broke away from him then, her face slightly scrunched as she stared directly into his in his eyes as if searching for something, the fire mage just smiled at her with his trademark toothy grin.

"Natsu, why did you kiss me?" the blonde in his arms whispered.

Oh. A valid question.

"I dunno," he shrugged, not really knowing what else to say but then adding, "I guess.. I mean..you looked so beautiful just laying there Luce and I..I couldn't help myself".

Lucy's answering smile was so wide that it lit up her face, a faint sparkle returning to her once pained eyes. It reminded him of the look she had given him that night he had taken her hand for the first time, dragging her along with him to join Fairy Tail.

It only lasted a moment though before she whispered, "I really missed you, Natsu" the light leaving her eyes once again as she lowered her face to look away from him.

Shit. Just as Natsu had suspected, she was still hurt about that.

Oh well, he'd just have to go for it now.

Staring straight into her eyes the fire mage hoped he sounded sincere when he replied, "I'm really sorry we left you like that Luce," Lucy held his gaze steady as he continued, "I was going to do it in person, but I knew it would be too hard to say goodbye to you".

There!

He had finally admitted it. Out loud. His weakness.

Natsu was ashamed that he had taken the coward's way out, but wasn't about to add that thought to the already strained conversation.

And then his best friend said something he didn't expect..

"I know," the celestial mage's voice sounded so small, "and.. I know you had to go, but I.. I just.. I wish I could have gone with you guys" Lucy finished, her voice breaking at the final word as tears silently rolled down her cheeks.

Shit shit shit! he'd done it again. That thing he had tried to prevent at all costs.

Natsu had made Lucy cry.

"I'm so sorry Luce", was all he could manage, pulling her closer to him, his arms encircling her in a tight embrace. Lucy's pale arms wrapped around him too as she hugged him back just as tightly and cried.

After a few minutes Lucy's big brown doe eyes looked up into his again. "Sorry," she said, the hurt still plain on her face, "I know you hate it when I'm a blubbering idiot like this" gesturing to herself with one hand as she wiped some of the tears away with the back of the other.

Natsu reached up to stop her, taking her warm hand gently in his own, their fingers entwining.

"It's ok Luce" he spoke softly, wanting to comfort her in any way he could. "I won't leave you like that again, K?" the fire mage stared into his best friends big brown eyes intensely, trying to convey how serious he was, "I promise", and he meant it.

"K" she replied, a warm smile that made his heart flutter appearing on her face.

And that's when it finally dawned on Natsu. The reason he found such comfort with her.

Why his house didn't have the same homely feeling as hers.

It struck him like a blow from a pissed off Erza on a particularly bad day. All the little wheels and cogs inside his brain finally clicking into place.

Lucy is my home.

It all finally made sense, and Natsu suddenly found himself afraid that his best friend wouldn't reciprocate his feelings.

"So, does this mean you feel the same way about me?" the fire mage asked tentatively, faint blush returning to his cheeks, unsure of her response.

He just wanted to stay with her, for as long as he could. Maybe even forever.

"Nah, I kiss all the guys like that" Lucy laughed sarcastically, rolling her eyes for effect.

Of course! They had just kissed! How could he have forgotten something like that already?

The fire mage laughed at his own stupidity, a real belly aching kind of laugh that was probably loud enough to wake up the entire neighbourhood.

Lucy just giggled, "Now kiss me again you idiot!", poking him in the ribs as she joined in with his laughter.

And he did, much to the surprise of a freshly awoken Happy, who, after blinking at them sleepily in confusion for just a moment, proceeded with his usual teasing, "they liiiiiike each other", which Lucy and Natsu both completely ignored.