ÐÏࡱá which before led to much chaos in my mind... dunno why that happened...
James is dead. My best friend is dead.
Is there no justice in this world? Yesterday, just yesterday he was
alive. Him and his wife, perfectly healthy, living. Harry smiling,
and giggling on his mother's lap. Now both are dead, Lily and James,
both. Murdered at mine own fault, and Harry shipped off to a life
hardly better than that of slavery. No. It is not my fault,
it is Pettigrew's. The filthy rat of a being. Hatred runs through
my veins at the thought of that name. He shall pay for what he has
done. I'll be sure of that. Even if I have to hunt him to the
ends of the earth, or break out of Azkaban itself, I will be sure his soul
burns in Hell! I'll be sure of that! Oh! But it is my fault
that they trusted them, I told them to. Was I afraid to die for my
friends, my family? How could I ever be so greedy? James,
your were closer to me then family, you were my family. What have
I done to deserve such a curse? And you Remus, Moony, you are the
most loyal creature on this planet, how could I distrust you? How
could I believe that you were a spy for Voldemort? It was Pettigrew!
I spit on that name. Remus, was I bias against you because of what
you are? You could not help that; we told you that we never would
let that bother us, that we'd always be your friends, trusting you.
I've deceived the two people closes to me. James is dead, Remus shall
abhor me for ever, think me a murder, an oath baker, a beast not worthy
of life! Even a dementor's kiss would not be justice enough in his
mind, or in mine... And why? Was I afraid of death? I
was afraid to die for those I loved! I ne'er should've trusted that
rat! He will die. Be sure of that. I'll kill him with
my own hands if I must, he will die. And what about Harry?
My Godchild? Hagrid has taken him away by Dumbledore's orders, to
live with Lily's sister. I am his, was his, Godfather, he should
be in my care, not his Aunt's family! I've heard about these people!
There are no worse, minus Pettigrew, people on this earth. They hate
our kind; they hate magic. They will try to stomp it out of him.
How can Harry LIVE with them? If they have their way, Harry shall
never see the quidditch grounds, or sit in front of the fire in the Gryffindore
common room. Hagrid has just taken the last thing that puts worth
to my life and gave him to Medieval monsters! I'm Harry's Godfather,
James would've wanted me to look after his son, not Pansy, or whatever
her name is! Not them! I have given away, sold away,
thrown away everything that makes my life have meaning. James and
Lily are dead. What have I done? What curse did put me on this
world? Mark my word, I swear, by what ever life is left in my body,
by what ever still holds me to this earth, I shall, will, I must kill Peter
Pettigrew, he shall die by my own hands, and justice shall be done for
the death of James and Lily Potter.
