*hey guys so this is my first story. All feedback welcome :)*
•Santana POV•
Tonight is senior prom and it should have been the best night of my life. Now tonight is going to be my last night. While everyone else is at prom I'm going to take some pills and hopefully never wake up. I've messed up everything. It's all mine fault. It's been 6 months and I can't handle another day without her.
I'm in love head Cheerio Britney Pierce. We used to be best friends when we were growing up. Her family brought the house across the street from us when I was 6. I remember the first time seeing her I thought she was amazing. Thinking back now for me it was love at first sight I knew I had to get to know her. I was to shy to introduce myself that day but since there is only 1 school in town I knew I would see her there.
On her first day this mean kid Puck called her stupid and I told him to shut up. She thanked me and we became instant friends.
I've planned this night and I'm ready. I wrote a letter to Britney but I don't want her to read it till after prom. I'm going to drop it off at her house then go back home. My mom works all the time and travels a lot so I know I won't be interpreted tonight.
All the lights are out at the Pierces so I'm going to go now.
•Britney POV•
I'm supposed to be at prom now but I can't go with anyone but Santana even if we arent talking. We planned this night all our life's and I can't break a pinky swear. I'm crying so much my make ups ruined anyways.
I heard my mail slot open but I don't care right now. I don't wanna get up but it might be lord tubbington trying to sneak a female cat in.
I get up and check everything out but it's just mail. It has my name on it and I instantly recognize Santana writing. I quickly tear it open and read
Dear Britney.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough and stupid. There is so many things wrong with me and you don't deserve this letter but your the only person on this earth that I care about even though I know you hate me. If you do read this I hope by then I won't be In pain anymore. I can't handle telling you this in person. You probably will throw this out before you read it but this is my last letter if your still reading.
After my Abdula died at the end of freshmen year and things got bad you were there to catch me and hold me tight. You never once let me fall. You were my rock. When I started drinking and doing drugs you took me away for 1 month to your cabin to save me. That July was the happiest time of my life. You got me to see its ok to cry and morn,I don't have to lash out at people. Sometimes Id question why you stayed friends with me. Everyone loves you and hates me it didn't make sense. In sophomore year when Trouty mouth asked you out and you said yes my heart broke. At the time I didn't know why i was so upset that you said yes. After awhile You guys got serious and when he started to get abusive and jealous but you still wouldn't give up are friendship. The night he hit you, you called me to pick you up. I heard your sobbing voice and I saw red. I picked you up and saw what he did to you I lost it. I thought nobody hits the girl I love. This scared me but i reasoned with myself thinking im just protective of my best friend. I ended up breaking his nose but luckily you saved me again and threatened to Call the cops on him. So he backed off.
When we got back to mine place my mom as usual was working so it was just us. You cried so much and with each tear I thought my heart couldn't break anymore. For once I held you while you cried. I have never seen you so lost. After you fell asleep from exhaustion I watched you. I couldn't help it you are so beautiful and pure. I stayed up most of the night lost in my thoughts. It was that night I realized you are so much more then my best friend and that I'm in love with you.
In the morning you deleted everything to do with Sam. I was beyond happy. I thought this is my chance so I told you how I really felt. When You didn't say anything for 1 minute I ran. I make it to the door then you grabbed my arm and kissed me. It was the so..so wanky. You told me you loved me back and we were meant to be together.
We kept our relationship secret cause we both weren't ready to come out.
We lost our virginity to each other in junior year after 9 perfect months together. I didn't want to push you and it was pure ecstasy. We were so caught up in each other we didn't hear my mom. When she found us and freaked out I pushed you away. I was so stupid. You are more important to me than anyone But i was scared of losing everything that i lost the only thing that mattered you. I'm so sorry. I've hated myself since.
There was countless nights where I felt so alone. I thought I was over the suicidal thoughts but im not. I just tried ignoring them. I wish you were there to fix me with your sweet lady kisses but its my own fault your not. Im nothing when i die tonight nobody is going notice. I don't feel bad about this I've known it for a while. The pain is that I lost the only 2 people who loved me. I know it's bad when you don't care if you live or die but it's almost like a craving imagining the peace. I know my Abdula will be waiting for me.
I thought about how I would end my life a lot. About how I would do it. I'm going to pop pills. It will be easy and painless. I want you to know I will always love you and watch over you.
Love Santana
At this point I'm crying so hard I can't see but it only takes me a second to run out the door and across the street. I'm pounding on the door and when you don't answer I thought I'd have to break in,But after a while you open the door very surprised to see me. I can't take it any longer so I wrap my arms around you and hold you. By now We our both cry hysterically and neither of us lets go. Once we stopped crying I knew I needed to talk to her and get her back. I love her so much and I can't live in a world without Santana in it too.
"Santana I need to know,did you take anything?" Brittany asked
"No I was about to then I heard you banging on my door. Brittany I'm so sorry that I didn't fight for us. I-"
"Shhh please Listen I need you to know that I have never stopped loving you and you can't ever do something like that ever. I was so scared I lost you again. Santana these last 6 months have been horrible for me. I let you go before cause I thought you needed time. Please Santana promise me you won't leave me cause without you this is a horrible stinking world."
"Brittany I never wanted to do anything to hurt you. I love you so much. I was stupid to let you go. You are the most important part of my life. I promise I won't ever leave you again and if you will have me Ill spend the rest of my life making it up to y-" I didn't get to finish cause I felt familiar lips crashing into my. It wasnt a kissed you can describe but the moment our lips touched we knew everything was going to be ok cause are together again.
