Title: The Deserving
Author: Singing Violin
Rating: K+
Spoilers: Audrey Pauley
Keywords: fill-in-the-blank, Doggett/Scully friendship, MSR, D/R UST
Summary: Doggett and Scully fight.
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they'd torture each other like this on the show. But they don't, so they must belong to someone else :)
Feedback: Please!
Archiving: Already archived in Gossamer under a different author name (Pearl) but that name was taken here so I got another one. Feel free to post anywhere.

There was pity in her eyes as she told him not to get his hopes up, that she was "happy to do this for him but..."

It was that pity which did him in. A rage rose within him and suddenly he needed to lash out at someone, and the red-haired doctor was his easiest target. He didn't think, he just pursed his lips and began to tell her just what he thought.

"You got your partner back from the dead, why shouldn't I?"

"Doggett..." she spoke low, warning him, but he ignored her.

"What makes you more deserving than I? What makes Mulder more deserving than Monica?"

"Please..." she begged. He could tell this was hurting her. He was lashing at open wounds, and getting satisfaction out of it. Tears threatened at the corners of her eyes, and it only egged him on.

"From what I knew of Mulder, he lied, he defied his superiors, and he generally made trouble. Monica never did anything wrong...why should she have to die?"

"I don't have the power to bring people back from the dead," she interjected. "Mulder was a miracle..."

"Bullshit, Scully," he replied, even though he knew it wasn't true. He was so angry. "You just cared more about bringing him back. If you cared, Monica would wake up."

"I'm sorry, John. I'm doing what I can." She was crying now, but she was holding herself back from being angry, for she realized what Doggett was going through. She didn't bother to point out that she didn't even know if Mulder was still alive.

"Well, it's not enough. You're not trying...you won't even believe there's hope."

"John, Mulder was different...he was dead. I buried him." Her voice shook as she spoke the name of her absent partner. Her voice trailed off and the last few words were but a whisper.

"So you want me to have to bury Monica, so you can have the satisfaction of knowing someone else who's had to bury their partner?" The male agent's voice was as loud as hers was soft.

"No," she cried. "I cared for Mulder," she admitted.

"And you think I care less about Monica than you do about Mulder? Just because I didn't throw her on the floor of that basement office and fuck her brains out until she got pregnant?" He knew in the back of his mind that he had gone too far, but he could not stop himself.

Before he could think, her arm lashed out and she hit him squarely in the face. He raised his hand to his stinging cheek and only then realized what he had done. He raised his eyes and saw her sitting on the floor, head in hands.

His tone softened. "Scully?" he queried. She looked up, and a tear rolled down her nose and dripped off of the end. At first, he could see pain and rage flashing in her eyes, but as she realized that the fight had left him, she looked back down.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you," she said to the floor.

"No, Dana, it's my fault," he replied, shaking his head, "I shouldn't have attacked you like that."

"No, you shouldn't have," she reprimanded.

"I'm sorry too," he acquiesced.

She acknowledged him with a nod, and he extended an arm to help her off the floor. She took it, and as she rose, he pulled her into his arms. The two agents maintained a tight embrace while pent-up frustrations were released in a waterfall supplied from two sources.

Choking through sobs, she attempted to reassure him, "We'll get through this."

"I know, Dana," he said, holding her tighter, "I know."

END