Chapter one: all's well that starts well
It was never really a struggle for Haida to adapt to office life. Moving straight from college into the workforce definitely gave him an edge over some of his college mates who disappeared to foreign countries for months at a time the second they escaped school life. For Haida there was no down time, no soul-searching trip through India and no tours of the west. The "out of the oven and into the frying pan" mentality had paid its dues.
Now he wasn't surprised when he realised work sucks just as much as college.
As he leant back in his chair, pulling his attention away from his spreadsheet he thought back on the optimistic conversations his classmates would have about post college life.
"No more late-night study sessions" they would say "and no more shitty professors" and while that statement was technically accurate, replacing a few key words got you right back to where the conversation began.
Haida glanced first at the stack of payment forms to be processed on his desk, then to the clock on the wall. Five o'clock had already elapsed and the office was still mostly full, bar a few key management roles of course.
However, full as it was it was almost dead quiet excluding the normal office white noise. People had family and friends to attend to and as such were focused on getting the work done before it got too late.
Haida on the other hand had no plans for a Thursday night. To say his life was quiet these days would be an understatement. His life had tumbled into a miasma of eat, sleep and repeat for most days, with the occasional work drinks or college meetup to break the monotony. He didn't hate this per se, rather he felt like each day that passed he became more of a blank canvas.
A corporate slave…in a way.
Haida's mind was brought away from his depressing line of thought by an irritating, repetitive tapping noise. His eyes darted across the office, looking for the sound that had brought him out of a perfectly good session of self-loathing.
His eyes finally fixated on a pair of black shoes, tapping away on the polished tile floor of the office. As his eyes traced up though, his irritated expression softened as he realised who the source of his sudden vexation was.
As the office slowly began to wind down and people began closing their laptops and ledgers Haida sat staring curiously.
She had an amazingly expressive face. A smile that could stretch form ear to ear if given the right reason and eyes that could convey a sea of emotions within the space of a blink. Her upbeat and almost endingly positive outlook on life could bring the most self-doubting person into a place of confidence and calmness. Sure, she could have her moments of sadness, and when those moments hit they hit like a freight train. But Retsuko's resting facial expression was almost always one that left Haida feeling positive.
And this afternoon was no different. With her eyes fixed on her laptop and a content grin on her face she typed away all Haida's negative thoughts. He smiled as he realised she had been tapping her feet along to the music she was listening to, her white earbuds buried deep in her ears. He pondered on what song she would have been listening to, but he furrowed his brow. Her feet were tapping far too fast for it to be any kind of pop music, and too sporadic for it to be electronic. His curiosity grew even more as she began to mouth out the words to the mystery tune. Haida focused, trying desperately to remember how to read lips.
His concentration was instantly severed by the startling buzzing of his phone, making his heart skip a beat for a moment. He recollected himself and unlocked his phone.
'You're staring again…' the message read from Fenneko. Haida pulled his phone underneath the table as if to shield it from view.
'I wasn't staring' Haida replied, feeling a little attacked
'Forty five seconds, that's a new record' Fenneko's next message read 'I was worried that if I didn't distract you, you might start drooling'
Haida shot a quick glance at his co-worker sitting opposite him, but her gaze was set on her computer, leading him to believe she was sending the messages from the computer rather than her phone. If Retsuko had the power to fill Haida with confidence, then Fenneko was the polar opposite. She had the innate ability to zero in on a situation or person and find any and all flaws. Especially Haida's
'You must be working hard' Haida typed ironically 'haven't you got better things to do with your time?'
'I'm done' was her simple response 'besides, time spent watching you suffer is time well spent in my regards'
'I wasn't staring!' Haida typed furiously on his phone screen
'you seem tense. Drinks?' she replied
'now?'
'why not?'
Haida pondered his reply briefly 'depends on who with' he stared at his phone as he watched the message typing symbol bounce up and down, disappearing a few times as fenneko restructured her answer
'What answer is going to get you to come out?' she finally replied. He shot a quick stare across the room at her. She didn't look away from her screen, but he knew she had noticed.
'Let's just go you and me' he typed 'like the good old days'
Without missing a beat, Fenneko turned her head away from her screen and to Retsuko next to her 'Hey Retsuko' she spoke, loud enough for Retsuko to hear over her music. She looked startled for a moment as she quickly ripped her headphones from her ears and pushed them into her lap under the desk.
'W-what's up?' Retsuko nervously replied like she had been caught in the act.
'Haida was just saying we should all get a drink together tonight' Fenneko emotionlessly spoke
Haida jumped slightly out of his seat, his chair wheeling back slightly 'T-that's not…' he let his sentence trail off, hoping someone might fill in the blank space for him.
'Sorry guys' Retsuko picked the conversation up delicately. She closed her laptop and stood up from her desk 'cant tonight…maybe tomorrow if you are still up for it?'
Haida let the air escape from his lungs before sinking back down into his seat
'Y-yeah' he smiled 'tomorrow…sure'
'Sounds like a plan then' Retsuko smiled as she picked up her handbag 'same time tomorrow?'
'Same time tomorrow' Fenneko replied with a lilt of emotion
The two of them quietly watched as Retsuko walked out of the office, her shoes once again tapping repetitively on the tiled floor. The moment Retsuko rounded the corner out of sight Haida Darted his view back to Fenneko, leaning across the desk slightly
'Why do I even hang out with you?' he spoke in aggressive yet hushed tones
'We're still on for drinks though right?' she smiled. Haida simply sighed. Retsuko's polar opposite was a very apt description.
Shibuya district was a vibrant and bustling part of Tokyo. Known for its bars and nightclubs, it was a hotspot for after work drinks, and a Thursday night was no different. While it didn't quite draw the crowd of a Friday or a weekend, there was still a happy hour and as such the bars were still crowded.
Haida and Fenneko had made their way to a favourite of theirs, The Public stand. It was a small upstairs bar across the road from Shibuya station. It was a nice blend of traditional and western design, keeping the booths but changing it up with more modern architecture.
the best part however was that it remained, for the most part relatively quiet until the ten pm nightclubbing crowd shuffled in.
'Cheers!' the two of them announced loudly as they clinked their glasses together in the comfort of their semicircular booth. Haida took a large swig from his glass while Fenneko opted to take a small sip of her wine before swirling the glass around in her hand.
Haida took a moment to enjoy his first drink of the day as well as his surroundings. The bar wasn't packed or empty. About six or seven small party's of two to four were scattered around the bar, all smiling and laughing at their own inside jokes and conversations.
It was clear to him that most of the groups were also having after work drinks as well. Suit jackets lined the backs of many chairs and the women were in the almost standard office attire still. No time was wasted between office and bar it seemed, not that he could talk as he looked down at his own clothes. He took a moment to take his tie off, making him feel slightly better about his haste in getting to the bar.
Fenneko on the other hand had found time to change to her more casual attire before leaving the office. She had an efficiency about her that sometimes boggled the mind. There were few obstacles she couldn't either overcome, or at least break down with her dark and cynical logic. Haida often described her as calculative, but she had her moments when emotion would take control and she would lose her unbreakable deadpan smile.
This however was not one of those times. She sat wordlessly, swirling her drink and staring at him. Her wry smile didn't leave her face and her eyes didn't move. It was like she was staring into his soul.
'Who's staring now?' Haida spoke condescendingly, leaning back in his set and taking another mouthful of beer. However, she remained unmoving, creating a very awkward silence between the two of them. Haidas eyes shifted from left to right as he waited to se if she was going to speak, but it was like she was frozen 'you alright?' but still she didn't speak.
'Ok now you're starting to freak me out'
'So?' she finally spoke.
Haida paused for a moment 'So…what?' he asked
'You know what'
He placed is beer back on the table and leaned in slightly 'I clearly don't know what "what" you are talking about so…'
Fenneko chuckled lightly 'Cleary you do, otherwise you wouldn't get so defensive'
'I'm not-' Haida trailed off before his voice rose too high. He could see a pair of women at the bar glancing back to them through the corner of his eye. He took a breath and leaned back in his chair before taking a larger than average drink.
He absolutely knew what she was asking.
'Look' he sighed 'I think we should just enjoy our drinks'
'Oh shit!' she exclaimed 'she turned you down'
'She didn't…!' again Haida bit his tongue before his voice got too loud 'she didn't turn me down…exactly'
Fenneko rolled her eyes before finishing her wine. She took a gasp of air as she almost slammed her wine glass back on the table. She then turned to look across the room at the bar. 'Kaito' she yelled to the bartender while waving two fingers in the air. The man at the bar looked over and nodded before moving to the beer tap.
Fenneko refocused her attention back to her phone sitting on the table, briefly tapping out a message before looking back to Haida 'Finish your drink then start from the top' she said with a gesture to his half-finished beer.
Haida looked at his friend with a puzzled gaze but finished his drink none the less. And with perfect timing that can only come from someone with precision drinking skills, a new beer was placed in front of him before his empty glass could even land back on the table.
He looked first at the bartender who gave a quick polite bow before then turning to Fenneko who was holding her new wine glass up to the light as if she were checking it for imperfections.
'word for word' she remarked as she looked back to her friend, her trademark grin back on her face 'don't leave any details out'
Hours passed and so had drinks. The bar had begun to slowly fill to the point that there weren't any seats or booths left unoccupied. What had started out as quiet after work drinks had quickly spiralled out of control, and as such Haida was now comfortably numb. He had lost count of exactly how many drinks he had consumed. It was somewhere around the five or six mark. He wasn't drunk by any means; however his inhibitions had certainly gone out the window.
He understood that Fenneko was trying to get him drunk to make the conversation flow a bit easier, but he did appreciate having someone to talk to.
'So, let me make sure I've get this straight' Fenneko spoke with a lilt to her voice, having to raise her volume to be heard over the growing crowd 'She gave you an opportunity to confess, and you told her you needed to get to know her better?'
'No, you're twisting my words' Haida replied
'That's what it sounded like to me' she chuckled 'She basically forced the words out of your mouth and you chocked'
'She had just come out of a bad relationship!' Haida finished the last dregs of his beer aggressively 'I didn't want her to think I was only trying to catch her on the rebound!'
'Right' She sarcastically nodded 'and how did that work out for you?'
'She agreed with me thank you very much'
'Details are important Haida. What did she say exactly? How did she say it?'
Haida scratched his chin as he thought back to two days ago in the hospital room. Another round of drinks arrived at the table like clockwork. It was clear the bar staff had learnt to simply bring a fresh drink over whenever they finished a round. He nodded to the waiter before clasping his fresh beer and taking a hearty swig.
'Her exact words' he spoke like he was reciting from a book 'I'm glad you think that, Its like we only know each other as "that person in the office" and…' he thought back again to make sure he didn't miss any details 'To just let it happen naturally' Satisfied with his answer he looked across the booth at his drunk friend who seemed to be considering his words quite closely. She took a quiet sip of her wine before leaning back over the table, almost knocking her glass over as she placed it back down.
'That's actually what she said?'
'she looked a bit confused at first' he chuckled 'but that's it'
Suddenly Fenneko slammed her head onto the table, making her drink spill over slightly and making Haida jump back.
'Haida!' she groaned into the table
'What?' he huffed 'what have I done now?
She lifted her head off the table just enough to look back at him 'what did you say after that?
'We both just laughed and moved the conversation on really. I said what I wanted to say, she said what she wanted to say, there wasn't anything more to be said'
Fenneko repositioned herself upright in her seat, picking her wine glass back up in the process. She took a moment to finish the last quarter of the drink before placing the glass down and leaning her elbows on the table.
'Why do men have so much trouble understanding the unspoken words in a conversation?' She asked no one in particular and with a wave of her hand. Haida looked quizzically at her and took a sip from his beer. There was a good ten seconds of silence as Haida waited for her to elaborate. Finally, she understood and sighed once more.
'She's confused' Fenneko continued 'she thought you wanted one thing and now she thinks you want something else'
"you mean…what?' Haida was completely lost. Fenneko's new drink arrived and she took another moment to inspect the drink in the light before taking a sip.
'She was ready for you to spill the beans. To tell her you liked her' She explained 'but with all your vague talk of getting to know each other better and hanging out outside work more often has her thinking maybe you only wanted to become better friends'
'what are you talking about. I wasn't vague, I stated exactly what I was thinking'
'Really' Fenneko raised an eyebrow 'I will pay for all your drinks tonight if you can name one moment in the conversation where you said one of these three things' she held up three fingers 'Relationship, date or more than just friends'
Haida raised his hand, ready to retort. He stopped however as he quickly scanned his memory of the moment, thinking closely on each sentence that he had spoken. The beer made his memory a bit slow and cloudy, but he was sure he remembered every single word like it was yesterday.
'Shit!' he cried out, slamming his face onto the table and covering it with his arms
'I knew it' Fenneko mumbled
'How did I miss that' he whimpered 'I had the perfect setup and I threw it out the window'
'Hey now' Fenneko leant over the table to pat him gently on the shoulder 'No need to whine about it, we already knew you were a social suicide bomber'
'Thanks…real supportive' he grumbled through his arms
'Besides, its not a lost cause'
'It's not?'
'You've at least put the seed in her mind, now its time to capitalise on it'
Haida pulled himself up just enough to pull his beer closer 'And how am I supposed to do that?'
'You said it yourself' she explained 'Get to know her better, spend some quality time together. All that panicked nonsense that spilled out of your mouth, getting you stuck in this position in the first place'
'It wasn't nonsense!' Haida shot back upright 'I honestly don't know much about her outside of the office. I don't know what she does with her free time on the weekends, or if she has any brothers or sisters. I don't even know what type of music she likes!' he threw his hands up in frustration.
'Does she know what type of music you like?' was Fenneko's simple question, making Haida pause 'Does she know about your two brothers? or your weird fascination with collecting local bands CD's?'
'That's not weird!'
'CD's are outdated and weird enough on their own, but we're getting off topic' she deflected 'The point is that this is a two-way street Haida. You've got to open up and let her in'
Haida took another swill of his drink to stop him from arguing the point further. Of course, Fenneko was right. Retsuko had kept them at arm's length just as much as he had. Their relationship thus far was nothing more than an office friendship, one step above acquittance and one below a friend of a friend.
'Alright' Haida nodded 'What's your plan'
