Summary: Members of the team are going missing under their very noses. One shot. Surprise crossover.
Disclaimer: if you seriously think they're mine, I'd like to be in your head. Because in this head, they're not.
A/N: This wasn't even an idea, but I came to the end of writing it, and it seemed to have wriiten itself. Unbeta'd, so please excuse any mistakes.
"Ianto."
"Ianto?"
"Ianto!"
Jack's worried voice was starting to irritate Owen.
"Lost the tea-boy 'ave ya Jack?"
Jack didn't bother to acknowledge the comment, focusing instead on finding the elusive Welshman.
"He's probably making coffee Jack." Tosh's ever present voice of reason drifted over from her workspace.
"Nope." Replied Jack
"Then he'll be in the archives."
"Checked there too."
"You checked the whole of the Archives?" Owen butted in incredulously.
"Well...no."
"So how do you know he's not down there?"
"I called his name." Jack stated as if that cleared everything up.
"Maybe he fell asleep?" Tosh suggested helpfully.
"I called very loudly." Reaffirmed the Captain. "Besides, Ianto doesn't fall asleep on the job."
"Maybe-" began Tosh before she was interrupted as Gwen entered the roon.
"Where's Ianto? I haven't got any coffee!"
"Oh God." Snarked Owen. "Gwen hasn't got any coffee – the world's gonna end!"
"Oh shut it Owen." Snapped Gwen, cranky from lack of caffeine.
"Ummm..." began Tosh, only to be interrupted by the ex-constable again.
"So, where is he?"
"We don't know." Stated Jack.
Gwen faltered for a second, mouth hanging dangerously open. "What do you mean you don't know?" she asked finally.
"We mean 'we don't know'!"
"Thank you Owen, I gathered that. I mean why don't you know?"
"Because we can't find him!"
"Owen, Gwen, stop it!" Jack butted in before anything could escalate.
"Sorry." Gwen relented. Owen grumbled.
"Okay, so, we know where Ianto isn't: the Archives, Tourist office, making coffee, autopsy room, in here...that still leaves an awful lot of places he could be."
"You know, he could just be busy working somewhere that isn't any of those places. I mean, do we even know where he is most of the time? So why all the fuss now?"
Instead of answering, Jack picked up an empty coffee cup. "Because," he finally said, "None of us have had any coffee today."
He let this sink in.
"God," groaned Owen. "No wonder I feel tired!"
"Okay, how did we not notice this?" asked Gwen, on edge from lack of caffeine.
"Well..." began Jack, still trying to work it out for himself. "You and Owen have practically just walked in, I've been busy preventing the end of the world in the form of stopping UNIT budget cuts, and Tosh has been..." he trailed off uncertainly. "Tosh?" he queried, turning around to face the technician. To say the least, he was rather startled to find her chair empty, and her computer still running some program or other.
Nobody had noticed her disappear, heard her leave the room, or really been paying her any attention at all to be honest. There was no sign of her anywhere though.
"Tosh!" Jack called out to the Hub in general. There was no reply.
"Okay..." said Owen. "That's not good."
"Thank you Mr. State-the-blindingly-obvious." Gwen concurred.
"Oh, cause you're so-"
"Keep it up and you'll both disappear too...into a nice, cold, dark cell." Jack interrupted again. The others fell silent. "Thank you!" he paused, considering their options. "Tosh?" he called out to the room at large. There was no reply. "Okay, that's exhausted my well of ideas, so I'm thinking we got a problem."
"Now who's Mr. State-the-blindingly-obvious, eh?"
"Owen," it was Gwen butting in this time. "This is not the time."
"Oh really? Then when is the time Gwen? Cause believe it or not, this is the longest time I've stood still in a while, as usually we're trying to save the world, or Cardiff, or sometimes just ourselves. And when my legs stop moving, my mouth starts moving, so really Gwen, when would be a better time?"
Gwen didn't reply. She was just stood there, staring at Owen with a disbelieving look on her face.
"What? Can't handle the truth?" On second thoughts, Owen decided, she looked almost scared. "Gwen? You alright?"
"...Owen..." she seemed to be having trouble finding the words. "Owen...why did you say all that...?"
'Okay,' thought Owen ' maybe I was a wee bit harsh.'
"Cause the world is pissing me off and you're the nearest target."
That surprisingly truthful statement wasn't what Gwen was looking for however. "That's not what I mean Owen. I mean why did you get to finish what you said without Jack shooting you...?"
Owen looked confused, startled, and then alarmed, each emotion rippling across his face with his mind struggling to keep up. He turned round to where Jack had been standing not long ago. "Shit. Now what?"
Tosh's computer beeped. Eyebrows were raised.
The two remaining torchwood members wondered over to it. Owen leaned in closer to get a better look.
"Looks like Tosh was running a trace on Ianto's mobile phone. It's just finished."
"So, where is he?"
"Dunno."
"Care to expand?"
"It can't find him. Not on Earth anyway. Which means...either someone destroyed his phone, or..." Owen was startled out of his pondering by a tingling sensation behind him. He swung around, reaching out for Gwen, but she, like the others, had vanished.
"Oh, come on!" Owen shouted."Come out and face me you bastards!"
"This is so not good."
"Hmmm...I wonder if I stop looking at myself if I'll disappear too."
"And now I'm talking to myself..." he finished lamely.
Owen started to make his way towards Jack's office when he heard an unfamiliar voice in his earpiece.
"Energise!"
Owen watched his body become little particles of light, and slowly start to disappear.
"Hell."
And then Owen too was gone.
Fin
So, what did you think? Reviews and con crit are appreciated. Thanks for reading.
