A/N: A series of one shots! They might seem connected at times, so who knows. This one takes place in the first game, when Shepard has to chase down monkeys to get some data. Enjoy.
"So, the great Commander Shepard, Butcher of Torfan, hero of the Blitz…is going after monkeys?" Garrus asked from the back of the Mako as Shepard and Liara climbed in.
Liara tried to hide her smirk as Shepard ignored them both, climbing into the driver's seat. "Don't forget, Vakarian, you're chasing monkeys with me. And just for that comment, I'll be sure to climb all of the mountains for you," Shepard replied as she turned the Mako around.
"You know, that's not going to affect me as much as it will Liara," Garrus replied, looking to the asari who already seemed to pale. He reached behind him and grabbed a plastic bag (which were always well stocked on the Mako when Shepard was behind the wheel) and watched as Liara took it quickly from him, groaning as the tank jumbled over a pile of rocks.
"She'll get used to it," Shepard answered, though she did cast a sideways glance at her squad mate and slowed the Mako down a bit. "Besides, this will be more incentive for you two to help me find this data before the geth."
"That's a great image though, isn't it? The geth running around, chasing monkeys and lifting their tails. It's a very humbling experience," Garrus chuckled as the Mako came to a halt.
Shepard turned in her seat and smiled before putting her helmet back on. "Yeah let me know how it feels, Garrus. We're at the first colony. Oh, and watch your feet."
Garrus adjusted just in time for Liara to vomit into the bag once more. The sick asari was careful, however, and didn't make a mess. Though the blush in her cheeks continued to burn and wouldn't leave. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm usually not this…weak," she muttered in between dry heaves, jumping slightly when she felt the Commander's hand on her back, rubbing it up and down consolingly.
"You're not weak, Liara," Garrus offered, applying his helmet as well. "Shepard is the only person I know who can make the Mako dance. Unfortunately for us, the damn thing isn't supposed to dance."
"Alright, Vakarian, you're driving next time. If Liara gets sick, then we'll know who to blame. Everyone keep your helmets on. This atmosphere isn't the greatest," Shepard finished lightly, grabbing Liara's sick bag, much to the asari's embarrassed horror, and hopping out of the Mako. Once out she tied the bag tightly and tossed it as far as she could. Thankfully, the Commander had a decent throw and the squad was spared from hearing the nauseating 'splash' sound it most likely created as it hit the floor.
With that out of the way, Shepard turned and looked at the monkeys. She supposed that technically, they weren't monkeys, given that they weren't on Earth. But they looked the closest to that animal, with their large lips and long tails. Heaving a great sigh, Shepard stepped forward and grabbed one by the tail, dodging its teeth as it lunged at her.
Garrus and Liara looked at each other for a moment, then headed off towards their own monkey. The squad hadn't gotten very far when Liara let out a muffled shout. Shepard dropped her monkey and turned instantly towards the asari. Liara's back was to the Commander as she fought with a monkey that had latched itself around her waist. It only took a few seconds for everyone to realize just what the animal's intentions were, and Shepard had to lean on Garrus to keep from falling on the ground from laughter. Though he wasn't providing much support as he clenched at his sides, his body shaking roughly from his own laughter.
Liara had given up on the monkey, which continued to hump her right hip, and turned to glare at her squad. "This really isn't that funny," she growled.
"Aw, he just wants to embrace eternity with you. I think it's sweet," Shepard managed between breaths. However, seeing that Liara was still unamused she attempted to straighten herself and headed over to them. "Just rip him off."
"I can't!" Liara shouted, losing her patience. To demonstrate she lowered her hands towards the monkey. The beast stopped humping momentarily to flash its fangs, narrowly missing the asari's fingers before she pulled them away.
"Biotics?"
"I…I don't want to hurt him," Liara mumbled ashamedly. "He doesn't know any better."
Shepard smiled. It had been so long since she'd met someone so completely…kind and innocent. Though her innocence would soon be lost if she didn't deal with this monkey quickly. "Well, we can let him finish. But he seems to have impressive stamina."
"If you think that's necess—ow!" Liara shouted, jumping as the monkey bit into her forearm.
Instinctively, Shepard reached for her pistol, drawing it and shooting the monkey before Liara had even finished her scream. Liara jumped again at the closeness of the pistol shot and turned to see the monkey on the ground, shot between the eyes with blue blood dripping onto the mossy floor. The Commander was by Liara's side then, gently taking her arm and looking at the indentations in the armor. "Did he get you?" she asked almost breathlessly.
The teeth didn't pierce her armor but the force was enough to make her skin bleed underneath. She informed Shepard of this, who nodded slowly. "Head back to the Mako and patch up. Garrus and I will finish with this lot."
Liara could merely nod and do as she was told, jogging back to the Mako and climbing inside. Garrus watched her go, then flashed a suspicious smile to the Commander.
"What?" Shepard asked as she grabbed a monkey.
"Jealous of an animal, Shepard?" he asked. "Things between Liara and the monkey get a little too heated?"
"What are you talking about?" Shepard asked again, her cheeks flushing through the helmet. She knew full well what Garrus was insinuating but didn't dare admit it to herself.
"Oh, come on, Shepard. The whole crew knows you have a thing for Liara. And the whole crew knows that Liara has a thing for you. What the crew can't seem to figure out, however, is why you haven't made a move on the girl yet."
Shepard licked her lips, though it went unseen inside of the helmet and shrugged. Garrus was a good man and a good friend. She never thought he'd be open to the topic of discussing women but honestly, she didn't have anyone else.
"How come I have to make the first move? You said she was interested in me too."
"Look at her! I bet she hasn't so much as been kissed on the cheek, if that. Plus, you're Commander Shepard. You're the hot, out-of-league one in this relationship."
"You've been watching way too many romantic comedies, Garrus," Shepard laughed, dropping the last monkey and heading back to the Mako.
"I can't help it. When the guy gets the girl…or girl gets the girl, it just gets me every time," he responded, pretending to wipe a tear. Shepard scoffed and punched him lightly in the arm as she knocked on the Mako door. When Liara knocked back, a signal that she had her helmet on, they climbed back inside.
With the door securely shut everyone took their helmets off and Shepard ushered Garrus into the driver's seat. Once he was settled she sat down next to Liara, who was warily eyeing the sick bags. "How's your arm?" she asked, gently reaching out to touch her knee.
Liara looked down at the Commander's hand, her mouth open just a bit and a faint blush creeping into her cheeks. "I-it's fine, Commander," she answered quietly, her dark blue eyes lifting to meet Shepard's bright green ones.
The Commander smiled and gave a single nod. "That's good. What would it do for your reputation if you got taken down by a humping monkey?"
The asari gave a quiet laugh and shook her head. "I don't have much of a reputation to begin with."
"I disagree. I've been really impressed with you."
"You…you have?"
Shepard smiled, pleased when Liara returned it just a bit. "I have. Your biotics are a great asset to this team. And you have good instincts. It's like you know exactly what I want, when I want it."
Liara's eyes panicked for a moment before she turned to look down at the floor, her blush increasing. Shepard felt heat rising in her own cheeks as well. She hadn't meant for what she said to sound so…suggestive. But while the asari looked surprised, she didn't look at all put off by the comment.
"Thank you, Commander," Liara responded finally, meeting her eyes once more.
"Shepard," the human clarified, giving a single nod.
"Thank you…Shepard."
"You deserve it, Liara."
It was in this moment that the Mako came to a halt. Garrus turned around, looking rather smug. "Well, Commander, I don't see a sick bag anywhere. See, Liara, you just need a better driver," he said before turning back around.
"Or better company," Shepard whispered into Liara's ear, watching as she blushed and deciding that she really loved that color.
