Author's note
There are a few things you need to know before you read this one-shot.
All the characters in this one-shot are adults. No one is in high school or college.
This one-shot is inspired by the 2016 movie Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. You don't have to watch that movie in order to read this one-shot, because there are some differences between this one-shot and that movie.
Some of the characters in this one-shot will be out of character.
Elena and Caroline were home-schooled and never met the Salvatore family, Matt, or Bonnie.
Tyler Lockwood was home-schooled. He never dated Matt's sister, Vicki Donovan. Vicki is dead. Damon dated Vicki before Maria and Matt got together and turned her into a vampire, and he had to kill her because she couldn't control her bloodlust. Matt and Maria got together after Vicki died. Tyler and Matt aren't friends. He never met Matt, Vicki, the Salvatore family, or Bonnie. He will be mentioned in this one-shot but will not make an appearance.
The only characters in this one-shot are Maria, Damon, Stefan, Matt, Elena, Caroline, Peter Maxwell, Kelly Donovan, and Liam Davis. If you don't remember who Liam was, he was one of Elena's former pre-med. classmates at Whitmore College. He had a short romantic relationship with Elena until she compelled him to forget that they were ever in a relationship and were just friends. No other characters will be making appearances.
Elena doesn't have a college education. Neither does Caroline.
Everyone in this one-shot knows about the supernatural.
Elena dated a vampire at some point in her life, and he was the one who turned her into a vampire.
Caroline dated a vampire at some point in her life, and he was the one who turned her into a vampire. She and Elena never met Katherine.
Maria Salvatore sat on a couch in the living room of the Salvatore House next to her fiancé, a human named Matt Donovan. Damon and Stefan Salvatore sat on a couch across from them.
Maria was born during the 1800's and lived in the town of Mystic Falls, Virginia with her twin brother Damon, her younger brother Stefan, her father Giuseppe, and also with her mother Lillian until Lillian's death in 1858. She was 10 minutes younger than Damon. She, Damon, and Stefan were turned into vampires by Katherine Pierce on September 25, 1864.
Maria had straight brown hair that reached her mid-back and was parted in the middle, fair skin, blue eyes, thin eyebrows, and a slender figure. Her daylight ring looked identical to Damon's but had the letter M on it instead of the letter D. She wore it on her right hand.
Maria and Matt would be having a destination wedding in Hawaii. She was planning to turn him into a vampire after their honeymoon in Italy. He was on board with her plan.
In 1972, Maria lost her virginity to a handsome human stranger at the back of a nightclub in Miami, Florida. She left Miami a few days later and never saw him again.
Maria has had meaningless sex a few times, but she had never been in a relationship until she started dating Matt.
Damon has had meaningless sex a few times, but he had never been in a relationship until he started dating Vicki Donovan.
Stefan has had a few girlfriends, but the relationships never lasted long.
Maria looked at Damon and Stefan. "I love you guys. I really do. But you're wild and reckless, and when you throw a party, things tend to get out of control. I have lost count of the number of times I have had to clean up your messes. I don't want any of your hijinks ruining my wedding. You will bring dates, and they will be nice and respectable girls and keep you out of trouble."
Damon and Stefan decided that the best thing to do was put an ad in the newspaper to find their dates, saying that the girls they chose would win a free trip to Hawaii. The ad was a hit, their cell phones ringing non-stop with girls offering themselves as their dates. They didn't stop there. They booked an interview on an exclusive talk show that only aired in Mystic Falls.
Best friends, vampires Elena Gilbert and Caroline Forbes, had just been fired for showing up drunk to their waitressing jobs at the seafood restaurant in Mystic Falls. They went home to the apartment they shared and watched TV while eating a bunch of junk food in nothing but camisoles and panties.
Elena and Caroline saw Damon and Stefan on TV.
"This free trip to Hawaii is just what you need to get over that asshole Tyler," Elena said.
At one point, Caroline had been engaged to a werewolf named Tyler Lockwood. On the day of their wedding, he left her at the altar. Caroline had a video of the incident on her cell phone and often watched it when she was drunk, which resulted in her crying and Elena having to comfort her.
Caroline said, "You're right. Plus, those guys are hot!"
"Yeah, they are." Elena agreed. "Which one do you want to go on the trip with?"
"I think I'll go with Stefan. He seems like my type," Caroline said.
"I'll take Damon, then," Elena said.
"If they're gonna pick us, we have to look like nice girls. We do not look like nice girls." Caroline said.
"Fuck, you're right. We need to clean ourselves up and make ourselves like we have our shit together. We have to look respectable as fuck," Elena said.
"We have to act like nice girls too, so try to refrain from saying the word fuck," Caroline said.
Elena and Caroline got dressed, making sure to look as innocent as possible, and headed to Mystic Grill, where Damon and Stefan would be meeting the women interested in being their dates. Their plan was simple — pretend to be injured and get Damon and Stefan's attention. After that, the best friends would have the brothers wrapped around their fingers.
Arriving outside the restaurant, the girls got into position. Elena, taking her place on the side of the road, waited and threw herself in front of an unsuspecting car that drove by, bouncing off the windshield and landing hard on the asphalt. Thanks to her vampire abilities, she didn't sustain serious injuries.
Caroline, faking her shock, ran over to her best friend. "Someone help!" She called out, kneeling down next to Elena.
Damon and Stefan rushed out of the building and to the street, seeing Elena laying on the ground.
Damon stared down at Elena, dazed. She was a dead ringer for Katherine Pierce. Who knew he'd find a Petrova doppelganger?
"Snap out of it!" Stefan nudged Damon, bringing him out of his daze.
"My best friend is hurt. Please help her!" Caroline pleaded, seeing the brothers make their way over.
Damon knelt down next to Elena and gave her CPR. Pretending to have been miraculously saved, Elena woke up and let Damon help her to her feet.
"You just saved my life. Thank you," Elena said, giving Damon a winning smile.
"No problem." Damon responded, completely transfixed on Elena's beauty.
After Damon and Stefan were fooled into thinking that Damon saved Elena's life, the brothers took the girls out on a date, asking them questions about their lives. Elena claimed to be a school teacher, and Caroline posed as a hedge fund manager. Elena flirted with Damon a little, but things didn't go any further. Don't get her wrong — Damon was hot as hell, but she had no intention of sleeping with him.
Due to the success of the date, the Salvatore brothers invited Elena and Caroline to Hawaii for the wedding.
The time for the big trip to Hawaii arrived, and everyone flew to the tropical islands and checked into the hotel, the happy couple in one room, Damon and Stefan in another, Elena and Caroline together, and Matt's divorced parents, Peter Maxwell and Kelly Donovan, in their own rooms.
Elena and Caroline easily won over Maria and Matt with their nice girls act. Their plan was almost exposed when Caroline had a flashback to Tyler leaving her at the altar. She ended up getting drunk and made jealous, offhanded comments to Maria.
Damon and Stefan had booked a swim with dolphins experience for the group, but Elena and Caroline convinced Maria and Matt to take an ATV tour through the mountains where Jurassic Park was filmed instead.
Everything was going smoothly. Elena and Caroline performed cool tricks on their ATVs. Damon tried to copy one of the tricks, despite Maria and Stefan warning him not to, and he ended up crashing into Matt and breaking his left arm. Matt was rushed to the hospital and left with a cast on his arm.
Feeling guilt weigh them down, Elena and Caroline told everyone that to make up for the accident, they'd compel the bartender at the hotel bar to serve them free drinks all night long. That was when the group realized Elena and Caroline were vampires.
Maria and Matt decided to spend time together, going out for lunch. This gave Damon and Stefan the chance to be with Elena and Caroline more. Stefan found himself falling in love with Caroline. Elena kept flirting with Damon but still didn't want to take the next step with him.
Elena and Caroline decided to head down to the beach, where they ended up talking to a human named Liam Davis. He was pretty cute.
Elena lowered her black sunglasses and peered at Liam. "Wanna have a threesome with us?"
"Hell yeah," Liam said.
The three of them made their way to the hotel's spa and went straight to the sauna.
Damon happened to have been walking back to his hotel room for a shower after going for a swim, and he saw the three together in the sauna. He got very angry and stormed off.
Elena broke out of the threesome, wrapping herself in a bathrobe and going after Damon.
"Look, Damon…I'm sorry, but I didn't come because I was interested in you. I came because I wanted a free trip to Hawaii," Elena said.
At the rehearsal dinner, Damon dragged Stefan backstage, demanding that he practice his speech rather than spend time with Caroline. Stefan wasn't having it. Damon told him what happened in the sauna, unaware that their conversation was being broadcast over the speaker system. Things escalated, and the brothers got physical in front of everyone.
Matt stood up, throwing down his napkin. "Maria, if this craziness becomes our new reality, I don't think I'll be able to marry you. I'm calling off the wedding!"
Matt left the dinner room, his parents right behind him.
Maria made her way backstage, anger radiating off her body.
"You two just cost me my marriage!" Maria shouted.
"What?" Stefan asked, shocked.
"Everyone heard your stupid argument, and Matt said he didn't think he would be able to marry me if this craziness became our new reality and called off the wedding!" Maria yelled. She stormed off, her brothers watching her leave.
Damon and Stefan made up in their hotel rooms, agreeing to work together to get the wedding back on track. Elena and Caroline were weighed down by guilt and agreed to help the brothers fix the wedding.
The four of them went to Maria and Matt's hotel room to apologize, only for it to end in an argument.
"Everyone, shut the hell up!" Matt shouted.
Everyone stopped arguing and turned to look at Matt.
"I didn't mean what I said last night. Despite the craziness, I still want to marry Maria," Matt said.
"You do?" Maria asked, reaching out for Matt's hand.
Matt grasped Maria's hand, a smile on his face. "Yes." He quickly excused himself, heading over to the nightstand and pulling out an envelope from the drawer. "Here. Consider this an early honeymoon present."
Maria looked at the envelope suspiciously, opening it. She let out a gasp. "You got me tickets to a hot air balloon ride?"
"Yeah," Matt said. "I remember you talking about how despite how long you've been a vampire, you never had the chance to go on a hot air balloon. Now you can."
Maria smiled and hugged Matt. "Thank you, Matt."
"Yay! The wedding's back on!" Caroline cheered, clapping her hands.
With everything back to normal, Damon, Stefan, Elena, and Caroline scrambled to get a venue for the reception and food for dinner.
The wedding ceremony was going to be held on the beach. The color scheme was purple and white. The decorations were beautiful. The sandy aisle was lined by purple gardenia flower petals and white seashells. Rows of wooden chairs that had been painted white were on both sides of the aisle. At the end of the aisle was a wooden arch that had been painted white and was draped with sheer purple fabric.
Maria walked down the aisle, her arm linked with Damon's. Since her father was dead and Damon was the oldest living member of the Salvatore family, it was up to him to walk her down the aisle.
Maria was wearing a white strapless floor-length dress with a tulle skirt, a white pearl necklace that stopped at her collarbone, and white high-heeled sandals. She had a bouquet of purple and white gardenia flowers in her hands. Her hair was gathered at the left side of her head and had been curled with her curling iron. Instead of a veil, she had opted to put a white gardenia flower in her hair.
As Maria and Damon walked down the aisle together, Damon carried the rings. When they were standing in front of Matt, Damon released Maria's arm and Matt took it. Damon walked to the front row of chairs and sat next to Stefan.
"We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Matthew Donovan and Maria Salvatore," the male human priest said.
Matt was wearing a black suit, a white dress shirt, and a black bowtie.
"If anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace," the priest said.
No one said anything.
"Matthew, place Maria's ring on the ring finger of her left hand." The priest told Matt.
Matt placed Maria's wedding ring on the ring finger of her left hand.
The priest turned to Maria and said, "Maria, place Matthew's wedding ring on the ring finger of his left hand."
Maria placed Matt's wedding ring on the ring finger of his left hand.
"Matthew and Maria, face each other and join hands." The priest said.
Matt and Maria faced each other and joined hands.
"Matthew, say your vows." The priest told Matt.
Matt looked at Maria with eyes full of love. "I, Matthew Donovan, take you, Maria Salvatore, to be my wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live."
The priest turned to Maria and said, "Maria, say your vows."
Maria looked at Matt with eyes full of love. "I, Maria Salvatore, take you, Matthew Donovan, to be husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The priest smiled at Matt and Maria. "Matthew, you may now kiss the bride."
Matt released his hands from Maria's and put them around her neck, pressing his lips to hers.
At the reception, as Maria and Matt cut the wedding cake and Peter and Kelly headed towards the open bar, Stefan took the opportunity to talk to Caroline.
"When we were alone, I started to fall for you. I didn't have to courage to tell you then, but I have the courage to tell you now." Stefan confessed.
"I fell for you too, Stefan," Caroline said, her heart beating out of her chest.
Caroline was wearing blue high-heeled sandals and a sleeveless blue dress with a v-neck and a floor-length skirt.
Caroline opened her phone and pulled up the video of Tyler leaving her at the altar. She pressed on the little blue trashcan, watching the video fade away. She smiled at Stefan and grabbed onto the collar of his suit jacket, bringing him down for a heated kiss.
Elsewhere at the reception, Damon and Elena were off to the side, talking.
"Are you still interested in me?" Elena asked. "Because I did some thinking. I want to be with you."
Elena was wearing red high-heeled sandals and a sleeveless red dress with a v-neck and a floor-length skirt.
Damon nodded, a smile crossing his face. "I'm still interested."
Elena grabbed onto the collar of Damon's suit jacket, bringing him down for a heated kiss.
Everyone ate some wedding cake, and then they watched Matt and Maria dance for the first time as husband and wife.
After Maria and Matt were finished dancing, Damon and Stefan set off fireworks.
The fireworks display caught fire.
"Run!" Caroline yelled when she saw the fireworks display burst into flames.
Everyone ran off.
Damon pushed the door of his hotel room open as he kissed Elena passionately. Slamming the door shut, Elena used her vampire speed to pin Damon against the far wall, knocking over a lamp. She helped him take off his jacket and tore his dress shirt off, the fabric landing softly on the floor.
Damon lifted Elena up and wrapped her legs around his waist, the skirt of her dress tipping, turning them around so she was pinned against the wall. He broke away from the kiss and left a trail of kisses on the side of her neck, rubbing his hands up and down her legs. Elena moaned, pressing herself against Damon's body.
"What do you say we start our honeymoon a little early?" Matt proposed, taking his suit jacket off and hanging it on the coat rack.
Maria took the flower out of her hair and placed it on the nightstand. "You read my mind," she said, strutting over to her husband.
Matt grabbed Maria by the face and pulled her towards him, smashing his lips against hers. He grabbed onto her waist and walked backwards until the back of her legs hit the bed. She unbuttoned his dress shirt and tossed it to the side as he pulled down the zipper of her wedding dress.
Elena straddled Damon's body as they laid on top of his bed, dressed in only their undergarments. She kissed down his body, creeping closer to his boxers. Damon flipped them over so that he was on top. The two kissed each other all over as they made love.
Stefan and Caroline found themselves in the woods, slowly kissing each other passionately. He pushed her up against a tree, and they took turns undressing each other.
Damon and Elena collapsed on the bed next to each other. They were breathing heavily, staring up at the ceiling.
"That was amazing," Elena said, running a hand through her hair.
Damon nodded in agreement, letting out a huff. "Yeah, it was."
THE END
