Dipper drives long into the evening, leaving the chaos of Mabel's failed wedding behind. Dipper and Mabel walk in, dragging the long, puffy dress in with them that they forgot in the car. By the time they arrive at Dipper's small apartment, the phone is filled with messages from the last thirty minutes and is still ringing, all from the twins' family demanding an answer.
"So Mabel… you think we should move?"
"What? We just got here!"
Mabel giggles at Dipper as he pushes back his hair, showing his birthmark for a moment before the bangs of brown fall back to cover his head.
"If… if they call the cops, we're fucked."
"If…"
Mabel goes silent, knowing that their love would bring them before a judge if it were discovered. She swallows before allowing a deep breath to escape her mouth.
"If… they don't have proof."
"Well, we did kind of crash a wedding."
"First, you crashed the wedding. I was perfectly willing to throw my life away with a man I sort of love but not really. Second, they don't have anything. All they know is my goofy, Mabel mind decided to not go through with the wedding and I needed someone to stay with who wouldn't judge me or treat me like monkey shit."
Dipper stifles a laugh, coming out like a choked hiccup. Mabel punches him playfully while the twins find a seat.
"Yeah… I guess that makes more sense… but if both Mom and Dad throw a fit, we should have a back-up plan."
"Maybe Grunkle Stan. He did offer us a place."
"Although if he figures out what happened, then he might just decide we're too weird."
"He knows we're weird. I doubt this would make much of a difference."
"Yeah…"
"And… I think we should clue him in… I mean, he'll figure it out if we're both sleeping in the same room and sneaking off all the time."
"You're right… yeah."
Before the twins can use the phone, which they look at as if it were a bomb that needed to be defused, a loud, rapid knocking echoes from the door.
"Do you think they followed us?" Mabel asks.
"No, that's probably just Jeff. The male Mabel."
Dipper walks over and opens the door. His deranged friend jumps in like a ballerina, twirling about as he comes in.
"Hey!" he says in a feminine voice, dressed in a blue t-shirt with short shorts and pink nail polish.
"Hi Jeff."
"So, whatcha doing? I saw your car and thought 'that can't be right. He's supposed to be at the wedding!' But here you are!"
"Yeah, well, the wedding was a… what was it, Mabel?"
"A dud."
"What do you… oh heavens, is that your wedding dress?"
Jeff walks past the twins and looks over the puffy dress, admiring the touches while wondering how it became damaged and wet.
"So… I take it you were the bride to be?"
"Uh, yeah… turns out I was about to make the biggest fuck up of anything, ever."
"So, what does your bestest bro friend here need?"
"A punch for keeping everything bottled up."
Jeff walks over and punches Dipper in the arm. Dipper laughs while rubbing his arm, which has now received two slightly painful punches. His weakened, skinny body becomes slightly sore from the pain.
"So, I see you're still wearing that necklace. Is it helping you keep your… resolve?"
"Uh… I think I need a beer. Could you go get me one?"
"Uh oh, I sense tension."
Jeff walks away, leaving the twins to discuss their friend.
"He seems more mabelized than me… and that means he's probably not human."
"You're human?"
Mabel punches Dipper again. He rubs the top of his arm, which has now become slightly red from abuse. Mabel looks towards the kitchen before speaking again.
"Yeah, I walked into that one. But anyways, are you going to, you know, tell him?"
"Well, maybe… he's always been... unusual. Even in our college days, he had multiple boyfriends and girlfriends. So… maybe he won't care about our… thing."
"Wait, girlfriends?"
"Yeah. He's not gay. He just likes, and I quote 'the fashion and the statement!'"
"Well, if he's anything like me, he probably won't stop asking or snooping until he gets the truth. So I guess we should just tell him."
"Yeah… okay, let's."
Jeff returns empty-handed and pulls up a chair.
"Sooo, are you done whispering without my prying ear?"
Mabel narrows her eyes at her male counterpart.
"I'm onto you."
Mabel points at her eyes and then gestures at Jeff, as if she knows his game. Dipper chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head and taking a deep breath.
"So Jeff… you remember I told you about that lady I was pining over?"
"Yes… and?"
"Well, it turns out-"
"That was the worst advice you gave him! Bottling up everything, letting me nearly screw up my life, and just being a big, fake, macho idiot when he should be the pathetic, lovable, needy weirdo he is!"
Mabel takes several rapid breaths, revealing the anger underneath. Jeff's hands are up in the air, as if Mabel might threaten him with a loaded magnum at any moment. Rage fills her eyes as she turns to Dipper, and the younger twin almost wonders if she'll attack him next. Mabel closes her eyes, taking a long, deep breath, allowing the tension in her chest to dissipate. She exhales through her nostrils and her eyes reopen, freed from the rage that possessed her.
"I… sorry?" is all Jeff can offer.
"So, uh, yeah. Turns out we both still have feelings for each other."
"I see that… wait… aren't you two siblings?"
"Uh… yeah." Dipper mutters, his voice lower than a mouse's.
"Huh… well, that explains a lot… and sorry I gave you bad advice, but usually not letting sweethearts go is how stalkers and serial killers start… but I guess one size doesn't fit all?"
The phone rings again.
"Are you going to get that?"
"Uh, maybe you should get it… so they think they've got the wrong number." Dipper says. Mabel and her male duplicate giggle at her brother's reluctant nature.
"Yeah, they know it's you. They're not falling for it, bro."
"I know. But I can hope!"
Dipper jumps off the couch and wiggles his fingers and cracks his wrist, relieving a portion of the tension building in his body. Dipper walks over and picks the phone up. He takes it back to the couch and holds it between the twins, putting it on speaker and raising the volume.
"Uh, hey." Mabel mutters. She can hear the mumbling and whispers from her parents, and she can hear mentions of her name and angry, muffled curses about her brother.
"Ma-Mabel, I… what are you doing?" the twins' mother says. Even over the phone, they can hear it. The sound of their mother having cried for the hours they've been driving. Her voice is hoarse and cracked, her throat sore from choked sobs.
"I'm here, figuring out where I need to get my life."
"I… what happened?"
"I… I was making a big mistake… I didn't want Greg… I just... I couldn't lie anymore… this is better, Mom… it will be."
"Is… is he there?"
"Yeah, I'm here." Dipper mutters.
"You… why?"
"I… I couldn't hold it back… I couldn't lie anymore… I've always loved Mabel… always… and we've both been hiding it… trying to fake normal... but we aren't normal… never will be."
"I… no… just…"
The connection drops, as the twins' parents can no longer deal with their children. Mabel and Dipper hold each other close, reassuring themselves that everything would be alright. Jeff pulls his chair closer, trying to help in any way he can.
"I'm sorry life got so messed up for you two… how long were you separated?"
"Seven years." Mabel mutters.
"Wowzies… shit… I'm sorry everything happened that way…"
"Thank you." the twins whisper together.
"You… you both look like you need a nap."
The twins chuckle together, turning their gaze back to Dipper's flamboyant friend. Their faces are exhausted, drained of all energy.
"Yeah. It's been a rough day. So where do you live?"
"I've got the place next door. So, tomorrow I'm inviting my girlfriend and boyfriend over. I hope you two can come over. We've got the new Smash Bros.!"
"Yeah. We'll be there… and try to keep our, you know, twin thingy secret."
"I will. Incest… twincest?... no, Pinecest!"
Mabel and Dipper laugh at Jeff's pun.
"Yeah… that's a good one… I'll need to save it." Mabel says.
"Yeah, so I'll see you guys later. Bye."
"Bye Jeff."
Mabel falls into Dipper's chest, sending them both down to the couch. She looks into his eyes, a bright, happy smile on her face. And for the first time, Dipper's smile is full and wide despite the bags beneath his eyes.
"Let's get to bed, broseph."
"Yeah… I'm so happy Mabel."
"Me too."
The twins kiss before moving off the couch. Dipper turns off the lights and moves into the bed with Mabel, snuggling up next to her with his arm holding her pillow and head up.
"I love you, Mabel… no matter what, I love you."
"I love you too… goodnight, bro."
"Goodnight, Mabel."
The twins, brought to their emotional limit, fall into a deep sleep, reunited at last.
