Note: This is what I imagine Onimi would sing in Will Smith's place; some of this fic will be in something of a script format.
Now this is a story
All about how
My life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute to just contemplate to the stars
And ask how did I become the prince of a planet called Yuuzhan'tar?
(Onimi, pre-Shamed aboard a lab in a worldship, is commencing an experiment involving organic vials that literally blow up in his face from the chemical concoctions he made; a commanding Yuuzhan Vong warrior walks over to him and shakes his amphistaff at Onimi after he clears his eyes. Onimi splashes one of the otherwise-harmless chemical concoctions in his armpits and smiles nervously at the warrior).
In worldship Baanu Miir, where I was born and raised,
I was in my laboratory where I spent most o' my days
Strainin' and workin' on my experiments to help my people out from their problems and all,
Trying to unlock the secrets the gods have given us so long ago,
When I suddenly unlocked the eighth cortex,
I saw that it was empty and I got very depressed
I commenced an experiment with a yammosk to self-enhance
But the elite said, "You're a Shamed One now, you ugly lashance."*
I used the powers that I got to take over the Yuuzhan Vong Empire
Overthrew Quoreal to replace with Shimrra as its new sire
So the first thing we said for this galaxy we found was, "Let's cleanse it with righteous fire!"
(Onimi, Shamed and deformed, relaxes at Shimrra's feet as the false Supreme Overlord rests on his polyp throne, the worldship they're on being led through the GFFA by a convoy as the rest of the Yuuzhan Vong invade the galaxy, destroying and capturing thousands of worlds, and murdering and imprisoning trillions of people, in a horrifying montage to counter the upbeat tone of the song overall. The scene ends with Shimrra's worldship arriving to the captured Coruscant, renovated as Yuuzhan'tar).
I pulled up to Yuuzhan'tar about seven or eight
And I yelled to the pilot, "Yo, Vongey, smell ya later!"
Lookin' at my kingdom,
Pondering that I've traveled far,
To sit on my throne
As the prince of Yuuzhan'tar.
(The scene has Onimi and Shimrra appearing before the Yuuzhan Vong elite within Shimrra's worldship, and Onimi decides to act silly before the elite in the same vain as Will Smith at the end of the opening to Fresh Prince).
*Lashance, in Yuuzhan Vong, meant filthy creature. At least that's what it means to me just for the sake of trying to rhyme with 'enhance.'
