Disclaimer: This is for humour purposes only due to boredom. I own nothing but my own ideas. All others belong to ITV or whatever and whoever they belong to.


Chapter One

Jessica Parker stared at audience, a thousand pair of eyes staring back at her on the stage. Her eyes moved to the others on the stage, who were standing behind stands themselves like she was. It was just nearing the end of the show and once again, Jess was left alone. Only two more men were going to be on the show. Hopefully, this time, she would find someone she liked and someone who liked her rather than the twenty nine women who stood with her.

Against Jess' wishes, her friend Lucy had signed her up for a dating show known as 'Take Me Out.' When she had found out, she'd been furious but appeared on the show to keep Lucy happy. It was already her third week in and so far, every man that had come onto the show hadn't impressed her at all. It was her last week on the show today due to her beginning a new job the week after and Jess was hoping that she'd leave on a positive note.

Jess suddenly snapped out of her thoughts when the host, Paddy yelled at the camera.

"Single man, reveal yourself!''

At that moment, Jay Sean's 'Down' begun playing as a young man about 26 came down the lift. Jess stared in amazement as the man walked to his right, struck a pose and then walked to his left and did the same. He then walked over to where Paddy was standing, obvious to the gazes Jess was giving him. The crowd was cheering but Jess could hardly hear them.

''Take it away!'' shouted Paddy.

''Good Evening Ladies! My name is Hilary and I'm from Hampshire!'' yelled the man.

"Hilary from Hampshire. Girls, are you turned on or off?"

Immediately, two lights turned off, whilst twenty eight remained.

"Twenty eight lights, not bad. Let's go have a chat with some of these girls." Paddy said, before walking over to where Jess stood at her own stand with a buzzer.

"Jess, this is your last show, why have you kept your light on."

"Well, i liked the way he came down the lift, not too full of himself but confidence at the same time." Jess blushed.

Becker stared at the girl, taking in her appearance, noticing that she was beautiful in his opinion.

Paddy walked over to a blond girl, whose name seemed to be Abby.

"Abby, why have you kept your light on?"

"Well, he's just so nice looking and the way he walked, woo!" the girl giggled.

Becker smiled, wanting to be polite but raised his eyebrows, wondering what the heck the girl was on. He looked back at Jess who was blushing badly and then back at Paddy who had ended up right by his side yet again.

"Well, Hilary, you have sailed through the first round." Paddy said. "But, can you get through the next round? Remember, no likey, no lighty."

The studio begun to darken and a video appeared on the screen, Hilary's life becoming known to all. Jess stared in amazement, excited at the prospect of learning more about the handsome man standing a few feet away from her.

"My name is Hilary and i work for the government." Hilary said on the video. "It's pretty much a full time and very hectic job, so work pretty much takes up my time."

As this was said, five lights turned out.

"I enjoy going out with a couple of friends to the pub and just chilling, playing a bit of pool but i would love it if i could take a very special girl along with me."

Another light turned out.

"My closest friend would probably be Sarah, she makes me laugh. Most girls have a problem with the fact that my best friend's a woman but, that just goes to show that they can't handle not being the only woman in my life."

Three more lights turned out.

"I come from a very strict Military background so I've been brought up the right way. My father taught me to treat a girl and to protect her, no matter what, just like he had with my mother."

Another light turned out.

"If you keep the light on for me, i can assure you, I'll treat you the right way."

As soon as the video ended and the lights came back on, Jess found herself staring in amazement. This guy had defiantly impressed her.

"Well, you've lost twelve lights so far, but don't worry, eighteen still remain. Let's have a chat with the girls."

Paddy walked over to a red haired girl named Stacy who looked as if she'd been injected too much Botox that she looked as if she was plastic.

"Stacy, you kept your light on, why did you do that?"

"Well, he is defiantly fit, so i thought, why not? Work is no big deal."

"Okay." Paddy replied before walking over to another girl who went by the name Natalia.

"Natalia, why did you turn your light out?"

"Because of the work thing...it seemed as if he was married to his job and that just freaked me out so, yeah..off."

Paddy nodded and walked over to where Jess was standing behind the buzzer.

"Jess, why is your light still on?"

Jess glanced at Hilary who had a small smile on his face but then looked back at Paddy who was waiting for her answer.

"Well, when it came to the bit about work, i admit, i weren't impressed but then i remembered, I'm beginning a new job next week that I've been told takes up my time so i can understand that." she rambled. "Plus, when it got to the bit about your best friend being a girl, i can relate, i mean, my best friend's a guy and many people have problems with that."

By the end of Jess's ramble, Hilary was staring in amazement, he was defiantly going to chose Jess. She seemed to understand him.

"Well Hilary," Paddy said, as soon as he came and stood beside him. "You've still got eighteen remaining lights, but you've still got to get through round three. We're going to be hearing from your friends Sarah, Abby and Connor."

Hilary groaned, this was not going to be good.

The video begun and Hilary glanced up at the screen nervously, hoping Jess wouldn't turn her light out. Sarah's image came up on the screen first.

"One thing you should probably know about Hilary is that he hates his first name. He would rather go by his last so, if you're lucky, he'll let you call him by his first." she spoke. "Other than that, Hilary's one of the kindest, funniest and most caring person you'll met, although he can be overly protective."

One light turned off.

Abby came up next along with Connor.

"Hilary's one of the best friend's you can have. He's sweet, funny and will protect you in any situation you can think of. He's got a bit of an obsession with Guns though.."

Ten lights went off.

"...but don't worry, its all good."

Hilary groaned, dreading Connor's turn.

"Well, Hilary, he's awesome! One of the most trustworthy man you can ever met, if i wasn't with Abby, I'd date him." he said.

Connor's eyes widened. "Actually, no i wouldn't, I'm not gay, I'm really not..leave your lights on for the amazing Hilary."

Once the video ended, Hilary found himself laughing at Connor's failure on live Television.

"Well that was interesting wasn't it. You lost eleven girls in this round, but seven still remain. The power's in your hand now. Narrow it down to two girls."

Hilary walked over to the girls and turned out the lights of those who didn't interest him. He walked over to the left, turning out three brunettes, Mia, Becky and Andrea and two blonde's, Tamara and Jade leaving only Jess on the left and Stacy on the right.

Hilary walked back over to Paddy, definitely making the choice to chose Jess, even though Stacy was a very pretty girl. But, she was no Jess.

"I see you've left Jess and Stacy. The girls know everything about you but, what do you know about the girls? You have one question so make it a good one." Paddy advised.

"Okay ladies, as you know, i have a slight obsession with Guns. What's your obsessions?"

"Lets start with Stacy."

"Well, as you can see, I'm very tan. So honestly, I'd say, i have a slight obsession with sunbeds and most defiantly fake tan." answered Stacy, giggling.

Hilary stared at the girl, nodding, slightly scared. He hoped Jess had a better answer.

"Jess."

"Erm," Jess begun. "This is not really something you can probably see very clearly, but i have a slight obsession with bright coloured clothing, shoes, you name it. I love to wear bright clothing, its a symbol of positivity."

Hilary smiled at Jess' answer, thinking it was extremely adorable. He defiantly was going to chose Jess.

"You've heard what the girls have had to say, now, which one are you going to pick? Paddy yelled.

Hilary stood there a minute before walking over to the girls. He could hear the crowd shouting suggestions but Hilary was only listening to one voice - his own. He walked over to where Stacy stood, clad in fake tan. Hilary frowned in disgust, he defiantly preferred his girls more natural like Jess. He turned her light out, ignoring her moaning and walked over to where Paddy and now Jess stood.

He gave her a hug, noticing the blush forming on her face. He knew Paddy was talking besides him, but all Hilary noticed was the adorable girl in front of him. As soon as Paddy stopped talking, he walked away from the audience, Jess' hand in his.

They both knew something good was going to come out of this.

FIN.

Okay, that's it. My first one shoot, and first try at comedy, although, it isn't really that funny in my opinion. =(
R&R please, they make me smile =D