Hey "Swan Queen shipper"!
How we all know, unfortunately, our ship is left, but our love no. So, please, do not stop write or read fanfictions because of that.
I'm Brazilian, so English it's not my first language but I'm quite inspired these days and I'll write my first fanfiction! I don't know if it will be good or not, so I count on you to help me. Enjoy!
"To be honest, you're too good for Hook"
It was there, in my head, I'm think about it repeatedly, Regina was right…?
Since I discover that Hook kills David's father and don't tell me, I can't feel anything for him, not anymore. He was hiding thinks from me and I can't trust anyone like that. I was asking myself: "Did you really loved him, Emma?" and the answer didn't come but I know: no. I didn't love him. I don't know, I just was… accommodated? My family enjoyed him. Henry, Mom, Dad... But Regina don't. She's just stressed around him. She always tolerated him… because of me.
Regina was right.
No, I'm not the best person in the world and I don't deserve much but Hook wasn't good enough to me. I deserve someone who treat me like I treat them. I want someone to say the truth, to thrust me first. To love. To be good for me. I want a love that make me see stars on a cloudy sky. Someone who I can't live without. Someone that I don't see who would be my life without that one. Who I'm scared about lose. Who cares about me and my family and makes everyone happy. That one who my family not just 'enjoy', who they love.
Hook left 2 months ago.
On the first week, I was devastated. I didn't sleep much, I didn't eat. I didn't talk. I just thought about I was deceive and deceive myself all those years. "We deserve happiness, Swan", he said before I send him to the hell – well, again, where he wasn't supposed to leave.
The second week was less difficult. Slowly, I let my family in.
First, Henry. He was so worried. He tried to get close but then he turned around. Until the day that he came and said:
"Ok Ma. I'm done. I'm not scared of you anymore, and you shouldn't fear talk to me. Come on, I'm your son! You need to talk to me! To let me help you. I don't handle you like this anymore. You don't eat, you lost weight! Gramma, Grampa and Mom are worried too. Mom ask me about you every day. She sends me here and you there. Lying on the bed. Lying on the couch. Drinking coffee. Eyes open but I doubt that you're with us. You need to do something. Hook didn't deserve that you're suffering for HIM."
I got up off the bed crying, looking at him.
"Let me help you. I love you. I'm the man of your life, not him".
I just hugged him so strong, crying.
"You're stronger than this, Ma. She wasn't your happy ending, he was just a stone in the middle of the road. You have me, you have Grampa, Grandma and Mom. We love you more than anything."
Henry is my anchor. This boy grew up so fast. He's 16, almost an adult right now. I learn no many things with him.
In the next month, it was just me and Henry. I didn't talk much about what happened but we talked a lot about future. Plans. Vacation. On the last Saturday of that month, Henry told me that Snow was making dinner and hope that I came. I didn't go, but on Sunday I was there, in the loft, 9am, for breakfast in family. Dad opened the door scared when he saw me and then he smiled and hugged me.
"Hey Emma. Let's get you some coffee" – I came in, Dad hugging me aside. – "Look who is going to have breakfast with us"
"I missed you" – He murmured. – "Love you, my daughter" – I gave him a little smile and hugged him back, closing my eyes.
"Emma!" – Mom shouted and came to hug me.
"Hi mom" – I said hugging her back. She smells like home. Lavender.
"Em!" – It was Neal. Jump on his chair with his little arms up.
"Hey Buddy, what's up?" – I came close to him and kissed his forehead.
It was a good morning. Mom made me cookies and hot chocolate. Dad went to the park with Neal and I talk with Mom. In fact, she talked, I listened. She talks about Neal, about Dad, about how was the things going at school. Mom is a good teacher and I wish I had her to help me doing homework.
"Regina is worry about you." – Mom said, tense – "You should text her… or call… or just, you know, visit"
Talk with Regina it's a little complicated to me. Regina was right. Since the beginning. I didn't listen to her. I feel guilty. All the things that she did to help me. She went to the hell to help me, she lost her soulmate there. It was my fault. I know what she's going to say "You know that I'm right. I'm always right".
"Maybe I just call her tonight, just to say that I'm alive, you know"
"Emma, Regina cares about you. She was crazy when you didn't answer your phone, or her messages."
She looked down at his hands on her lap and murmured - "She puffed herself in your house last week, just to see if you were there, breathing."
"I didn't saw her…?"
"Oh, of course, you were so lost that you even noted" – Snow said and then apologized quickly – "Sorry! I just… "- she stopped and looked at me - "Please Emma, talk to her. I know you don't want to, but you may need some friend right now. Regina is your friend and family. Let her help you through this"
I agree to talk with Regina someday in this third week. I needed courage. It didn't come.
Henry calls me Sunday night.
"Ma! I just forgot my English's book there, I need it for my class tomorrow. Can you bring it to me now? Please?"
"Shit, Henry, I was resting, you know I'm back to work tomorrow"
"Mommy" – there it is drama guy – "my homework is there! I'm so fucked if y-"
"Henry!"
"Henry Daniel Mills" – I heard it. It was Regina – "What I said about bad words?"
"Sorry Mom" – Henry told us. I answer with an 'okay' – "Will you bring it to me now? Please?"
"Ok kid, 10 minutes" – He said an 'Amen' and turn off the phone.
I arrived at the 108 Mifflin Street in 8 minutes with Henry's book and rang the bell. I expected that Henry was waiting for me there, but no.
"Emma…" – Regina open the door. She was there, looking at me with those mercy eyes – "Henry is on his bedroom, can you come in, please?"
"Yeah… Hmm… How are you?" – I said, taking off my coat.
"I'm okay, how about you? "
"Fine"
"Can you enjoy me with a glass of wine?"
"Yeah, it can be" – fuck, now we're talking – "I will give this to Henry, he was begging me to bring this so..."
"Yeah, of course. I'll wait for you on the living room" – I nodded and then come to Henry's room.
When I came back, Regina was expecting me in the couch, two glasses of red wine on the support table. She was using her phone and I was there just looking away, she was distracted I supposed.
"Came here, Emma" – Regina called me, but she was still looking at her phone – "I'm just replying back a message from your mother…" – then she close the phone and looked at me – "Snow came to your house but you weren't there because you came here s-"
"So, she thought I left" – I end her phrase.
Regina was looking at me and gave me a little smile, but she had pain in her eyes.
"No Emma. She asked me if you were here. I know that her asked you to came to me"
"Oh…"
"Yeah"
"Sorry, I just…" – I stopped for a minute, confused – "When I'm scared, I run, you know, that's me"
"Emma, you're not the same person anymore" – she took my hand and smashed a little bit – "Your family is here, you don't have to be afraid of anything. We are with you. Always. No matter what"
In that moment, the tears came to my eyes. She called her family. My family. Regina supported me, I didn't expect that.
"I thought you were mad at me" – I murmured.
"Why?" – she asked me with big eyes.
"You told me that I didn't deserve him but I didn't hear you. I made wrong choices for him and I pushed you and all our family down with me. Fuck, I just went to the hell for him and took all of you with me. I was a mess. I thought he was good for me."
"Emma, it's okay to be wrong sometimes. We all made bad choices once. It's human." – Regina took the glasses and gave one to me – "We all have those disappointments, and we learn with that. We learn and so we didn't make the same mistake again. Hook weren't good enough for you but has someone out there who is perfect for you. I know you're not the best person and all the people have defects, but you deserve someone who didn't lie to you. Who cares about you. And your family. Someone who thing about you when they are scared. Someone who think you're their shelter and who are yours too. You just need to keep looking. We all get scared and we close ourselves when someone hurts us, but it's time to move on."
I was crying on the moments she started talking. Regina deserves the world. She is such a good person and friend. I don't know who could be my life without her. All that I learn since I came to Storybrooke, she taught me at least half of them.
"God" – I stared talk but I was still crying – "You're my best friend, you know. You just told me things that I need to hear. Things that I can't believe. I was like 'ok I deserve some better… do I?'"
"Oh Emma" – and then she hugged me so strong. When Regina looked at me she was crying too – "I just told you everything that it's true. You thought that I was mad at you but I don't, I was worried."
That night i knew that no matter what, I had Regina by my side. I had my family, all of them.
Regina and I are inseparable now, since that Sunday night, we have family's night, girl's night, we have lunch together almost every day. Sometimes I came to her house and we have dinner with Henry, watch a movie or we just play some game.
It's Saturday night, Henry is on a date with Violet and then he'll go to sleep at my parents' house. I'm bored at home.
I'll call Regina.
"Emma?"
"Hey, Regina. What are you doing?"
"I'm just watching TV" – she stopped for a minute – "How about you?"
"I'm bored. I want to do something" – and then I have an idea – "Can I came in? We can drink and play"
"What? You think I'm a teenager? That I play drinking games?"
"Come on, Gina"
"Don't call me that, Miss Swan"
"You're bored too, TV is sucks, please, may we make each other some company"
Regina didn't say anything for a while.
"Gina?"
"Ok. And stop call me that."
"YEAH, sorry"
"Tequila"
"Hmm?"
"I want to drink Tequila. Take one with you or we have no deal" – shit, Tequila?
"I thought you weren't a teenager"
"Will you come or not, Swan?"
"OK. I'm going!"
Let me know what you think!
