Warnings: Minor spoilers for Crisis Core. Nothing to get your panties in a bunch about.
Pairings: Zack/Cloud
Sassy's Note: Uhm… yeah? I like this couple. Sue me. Oh, and I've got a minor error in here that differs from the original game, but… oh well, it suits my purposes.
Just Can't Get Rid of Him
He was back, staring at the sword as if it had personally done him an injustice, but his anger soon faded, and he sighed and sat down, letting his own sword fall from his grasp. He lifted his head and started up at the cloudy sky. There was no telling what was going through his mind at that point.
Zack didn't like watching Cloud go through this. He'd give anything if the blond would move on and finally be happy, but Cloud had grown to be an unhappy person, so unlike the young, bright, fresh-from-the-country infantryman he had been.
He supposed he couldn't blame the younger man. Cloud's entire life had been filled with… well, strife. No wonder Spiky had turned out the way he did.
But that didn't mean Zack liked it.
He heaved a sigh and crossed his arms and watched the blond tilt his head back and close his blue eyes. He supposed he could say something to Cloud; maybe the blond was waiting for a sign. He'd never contacted Cloud from this side before.
Cloud's head swiveled around, eyes open but narrow. He could have sworn he'd heard footsteps. Zack grinned and toed another rock with his foot just to see the blond look around frantically and rise to his feet. Hey, Spiky, I'm right here. You just can't see me. Zack laughed out loud, and Cloud's eyes landed right on the spot where the raven-haired 1st Class was standing.
"What's…?" the blond muttered. Yeah, he was looking at him, but he couldn't see him.
"Can you hear me now?" Zack asked with a lopsided grin. Apparently, he could, for Cloud's eyes widened dramatically.
"Z-Zack!?"
"M'right here, Spike."
"Wh-where…?"
"You're looking right at me." He toed another rock and took in his former lover's face as he watched the pebble clatter away. The crystal blue gaze flicked from the pebble to the rusted Buster and then back to where it had been, slowly scanning the air in an attempt to see the other.
"Are you really here?" he asked after a moment, voice uncertain.
"Yeah. I'm here. You're not going crazy."
"Wouldn't be the first time," Cloud spat, hanging his head and rubbing at a temple.
"Don't talk like that," said Zack sharply.
"I can't see you," the blond argued. "You're probably just in my head."
Rather offended at this, Zack seized a dirt clod from the ground and chucked it at Cloud's head. His aim was precise, and the blond flinched and squeezed his eyes shut as it hit him square in the forehead and crumbled into thousands of gritty pieces all in his hair and on his clothes.
"Damnit, Zack!" he bleated angrily, hands working furiously at his blond spikes to get the dirt out. "Try that again and I'll -…" He stopped and raised his face again to stare at that space beside the Buster, right where Zack was standing and grinning cockily. "You… you really just threw that."
"Damn straight I did." He picked up another, quite aware at what a strange sight it must have been for Cloud to see a clump of dirt randomly hovering in the air. He laughed. "Any more doubts, and I'll do it again. I may do it again just for kicks. Angeal isn't too much fun, and you can't really throw anything in the Lifestream."
Cloud followed the path of the dirt clod in Zack's hand, eyes growing distant for a moment. "You're here…"
"Yeah, we got that covered."
"But… you died…"
"Eh… I'd rather not think about that too much, if you don't mind. Wasn't the most pleasant experience of my life. If, by chance, someone ever asks you how you'd like to die, don't say, 'Open fired upon by the entire ShinRa army.' It's… not pleasant. At all. Go with the standard peacefully-in-my-sleep answer."
Cloud just stared with wide eyes in his direction as if he couldn't believe Zack were talking so casually about such a thing. The latter sighed, tossing the dirt clog over his shoulder and crossing his arms again.
"Cloud, why are you here?"
Said blond mouthed at him speechlessly. It may have been comical had not Zack been so concerned. It would have been different had Cloud visited occasionally, just to let Zack know that he wasn't forgotten. Zack even wouldn't have minded if Cloud used this particular outcrop as a place to go to think when he wanted to be alone. He would have been pleased at that scenario, but Cloud came out here more often than not and he was never happy, always sadly staring off into space.
Oh Shiva, but Cloud could mope.
When no answer was forthcoming, Zack narrowed his eyes and stalked closer to the other man. He really wished Cloud could see the look on his face, for he was wearing his most intimidating scowl, but the blond couldn't see him, and this only frustrated Zack more.
"Look, Cloud," he said from only a few feet away, making the named man jump. "It's… it's been years, man. It's time you let it go. It's not your fault. Aerith doesn't hold anything against you, and neither do I. She, by the way, threatened to kick my butt if I didn't straighten you out. So we're going to get this talked out or I will haunt your ass because I will no longer be welcome in the Lifestream."
A brief smile flitted across Cloud's face, and Zack grinned in return. "So, tell me what's up," he said gently. Cloud bit his lip, offering no response.
"C'mon, Cloud, don't lock me out now." Zack extended a hand and touched the blond's cheek gently, unsure if he would be able to feel it. There was a sharp intake of breath, and Cloud's eyes shut, leaning into the welcoming, familiar hand he couldn't see, but could feel, warm as the sunlight and soft as a feather's touch.
"I miss you," he choked, brow furrowing.
Zack's heart plummeted. He'd hoped that wasn't what Cloud would say. It was easy in the Lifestream to move on. He still had his emotions; he still missed his lover and wished it hadn't ended the way it did… but he was with Angeal and all those dear to him he had lost.
When Aerith appeared one day… it took Zack by surprise, and he learned that day that he could still watch over Cloud from the Lifestream. The first time he saw his former lover after so long was not the best of occasions. Cloud was lost and confused, and Zack knew he had changed. It hurt worse than it should have for a man who had been dead for over a year.
"Cloud, I –" Zack's throat had gone dry. Strange that it should still do that. He swallowed. "I… I'm…"
The blond's eyes opened and stared dead into Zack's eyes. "I always feel like something's missing," he muttered. "I don't know… didn't know what it was. Tried everything, Zack… always felt empty. I freaking dated Reno, for Planet's sake! He… made me smile sometimes, but he's not… he's not you."
And if that didn't make Zack's heart melt, nothing ever would. Of course, the fact that Cloud had tried to replace him with Reno more or less affronted him, but… eh… the Turk wasn't a bad guy. Not really. Deep, deep down. Maybe… but…
"Cloud, if… if there was a way I could… you know I would."
The younger man nodded solemnly, blinking at the face he couldn't see. Hesitantly, he raised his hand too, extending it blindly. Zack, smiling softly, nuzzled into the offered palm, pressing a brief kiss to Cloud's wrist.
"W-why can I feel you… but not see you?"
Zack shook his head against his former lover's hand and said, "Dunno." He searched Cloud's face, and an idea came to him. "Cloud, close your eyes." The blond did so. "Now come a bit closer." After a moment of hesitance, he did shuffle a few inches closer. Zack wrapped his arms around the man's waist and leaned in and kissed him.
And when a soft, warm glow enveloped them, Cloud's eyes flew open and he pulled back, blinking in shock.
"What's…?"
Zack chuckled. "We're where the Lifestream and the Planet converge. Halfway between, if you will. It's… nice here."
"I'm not dead though."
"Nope. Not yet dead, Spike, but you're in close contact with me, and…" He trailed off, voice dying away almost painfully.
Cloud dropped his gaze, then brought them back up quizzically, eyes moving back and forth… almost as if…
"Your eyes are… violet…"
He could see him. Cloud could see him now. He could never know about his eyes if he couldn't. Mako infusions and SOLDIER treatments had turned his eyes the color of liquid mako… A SOLDIER trademark indeed…. But in the Lifestream he was himself again, and his eyes were cleared of all traces of the mako that had been there. And Cloud could finally see him.
"Yeah," he finally said, resting his forehead against Cloud's, watching the blond examine his eyes closely. "Yours changed a bit, too. I've never seen them this clear blue."
"I've had my share of mako exposure."
Zack chuckled a bit at that. "Yeah, I remember."
And just like that, they fell into a silence that neither of them could decide was comfortable or uncomfortable. Cloud seemed contented to just be close to his lost lover, and Zack just wanted to cherish his moment.
It wasn't until Zack felt a touch on his shoulder that he so much as moved, and when he turned around, Aerith was there, smiling gently at him. She shushed him when he opened his mouth and winked. Zack was suddenly frightened and tightened his hold on Cloud, who squirmed in reaction.
"Zack?"
"Cloud…"
"Aerith!?"
Cloud stared wide-eyed at the woman, who was just floating above Zack's shoulder. Zack, personally, did not like the look she was giving them. It was too… mischievious.
"See you guys later," she said.
"You're leaving already?" the pleading note in the blond's voice wasn't overlooked by either of the other two.
"Nope." She giggled. "You are."
"Aerith…"
"Cloud!"
"Zack? Take care of him."
The blinding light was back and Cloud let out a yell because he didn't want to leave them, not yet, so he clung onto Zack hard in the vain hope that he would not have to leave his lover again, but all too soon, his feet hit the hot, hard ground, and he could feel the sun beating down on his neck. He was back, and his arms were empty…
Without a word, he turned and picked up his sword, intent on making a fast trip out of there and to Tifa's bar. He really, really needed a drink. He swung a leg over Fenrir and reached for the key.
"Leaving me here, Spike?" Arms wrapped around his waist. "Totally not nice, you know."
"Zack…"
"What? I don't even get a 'welcome back'?" Zack grinned obnoxiously. "Face it, Cloud. You just never could get rid of me."
Cloud turned, stared into a pair of mako eyes for a moment, and started to laugh.
-end-
Sassy: Wow, where did that come from? I have no idea…
