One
It's been almost 3 years living her double life, three years of saving Paris with Chat Noir, and three years of unsuccessful pondering over her friend Adrien. Marinette wondered what her life would be like if she never got chosen to carry the Ladybug Miraculous, would she and Adrien be together or would she be a crazy fan of Chat Noir himself? Marinette giggled to herself, the thought of her being one of the crazy fan girls of Chat chasing him around when he's trying to save Paris.
"What's so funny Marinette?" Tikki asked while coming into view from her hiding spot in the girls purse, in the safety of Marinette's room she had no reason to continue hiding.
"Oh it's nothing Tikki I was just thinking about stuff and how different life would have been if I never met you all those years ago." Marinette said casually seeing as Tikki and she have had this conversation on more than one occasion before.
"Oh that one again? Are you still thinking about how you and Adrien could be together?" The Kwami teased her. Marinette blushed lightly and composed herself before deciding to respond back.
"Well that and what about Chat? Do you think I would become one of his fan girls if I didn't already know him on a more personal level? How funny do you think that would be though, picturing me running after Chat with the rest of his fan girls." Marinette giggled twirling her pencil around in her hand. She was supposed to be doing homework but of course her daydreaming had gotten in her way.
"Marinette I don't think anything would really change. Well except for how busy your schedule would be, you wouldn't need to save Paris and drop everything to do so, so I guess that's the only difference I could think of." Tikki responded honestly.
"You really think so Tikki?" Marinette stopped twirling her pencil in her hand and looked at her Kwami.
"Well of course I do, it's not like being ladybug makes you a different person, you are still Marinette after all." Her Kwami soothed back at her, but somehow it made Marinette feel like Tikki was wrong.
"Sure Tikki but still I feel like being ladybug has changed me, at least in some ways. Like when I first met you I was never that brave and I was so scared but being able to hold my own showed me that I have to trust myself. You helped me realize that well you and Chat." Marinette confessed to Tikki.
"You would have realized that sooner or later on your own Marinette, but everyone needs a push sometimes and maybe being Ladybug was your push. Regardless of that I don't see how not being ladybug would change your views or actions on the people around you. If you weren't ladybug do you really think that would make a difference in whether or not you and Adrien would be together right now, or how you and Chat would react to one another?" Tikki questioned Marinette.
"Well I really don't know I guess. I think sometimes maybe me and Adrien would be able to get along better if I wasn't always running off in every Akuma attack. I feel so awkward when I get questioned of where I was and then I start stammering and well you know how I get when I try to lie I just freeze up and my brain goes to mush! And Adrien is always around when people ask me, he just watches me make up dumb excuses and act like a mess." Marinette puts her head in her hands remembering the last time an Akuma attacked at school and how she made up a lame excuse that she forgot her homework at home and ran in the mists of the Akuma attack just to retrieve it.
"You do make… Unique excuses, but that doesn't matter! Honestly Marinette you think Adrien would really care if he would see you during an Akuma attack? He is the type of guy that would just care if you were safe or not, besides everything is so chaotic when an Akuma attacks it's not like you know where anyone would be during one." Tikki tried to comfort Marinette.
"Yeah I guess you are right Tikki." Marinette agreed while trying to get her attention back on her homework.
"What brought all of this up Marinette? Is there something on your mind that you wanted to talk about?" Tikki floated and landed onto Marinette's work trying to get her attention once again.
"Well you know it's been almost three years since I became Ladybug and I just wanted to celebrate someway. Maybe with Chat it's not like I could celebrate with anyone else than you and him anyways… But I really do owe Chat a thank you, for everything he's done. Saving me, being my teammate, and just being someone that I can fully trust. I just feel like I have to say thank you in some way." Marinette confessed shyly.
"That sounds wonderful Marinette! What do you think you would want to do?" Tikki asked excitedly.
"Well I was thinking maybe cooking something, cookies maybe? I don't really know I'm only good at two things, cooking and sewing." Marinette started to think of something she could make Chat that he would actually enjoy.
"I'm sure whatever you make he would love, it is very sweet of you Marinette." Tikki smiled at her and then gave a small yawn. "I think I'm going to take a nap, if you need me wake me up okay?"
"Sure thing Tikki go get some rest." Marinette smiled back and turned her attention to the homework she dreaded doing. Her thoughts were against her today going back and forth between what she wanted to make Chat and how they should celebrate, and then to Adrien and if they could really be anything more than friends. She sighed, of course she was still hung up on him, it was pathetic to say the least. She knew that for years she bothered Tikki with her inner turmoil on how to approach Adrien, it was hopeless. She knew she didn't have the guts to confess but maybe she would be able to move on instead.
"I have to move on already it's such a waste of time..." Marinette thought out loud.
"What was that my Puuurrincess?" A familiar voice floated into her ears.
"Chat?" Marinette spun around and saw a familiar cat like super hero hanging his head from her trap door on her ceiling his ears giving a slight twitch. She had left the door open in habit, Chat liked to make surprise visits and she got tired of always having to go over and open the door for him.
"The one and only!" Chat grinned and fell to the floor landing on all fours then slowly standing up. He grinned wide and started to walk over to Marinette.
"You know eavesdropping isn't very gentlemen like." Marinette frowned playfully, she knew Chat too well to know he didn't do it on purpose, but she still liked to tease him anyways.
"Well my purrincess, I didn't mean to but you seemed too focused I just didn't want to bother you when you had that super focus look in your eyes." Chat grinned and sat down in her bean bag chair that was next to her desk.
"Yes well not everyone expects an ally cat to come barging in." Marinette laughed lightly as she saw Chat's grin fall into a pout at her insult.
"Oh ha ha, you know what's more funny? Trying to explain to your teacher how an ally cat stole your homework!" Chat pretended to threaten her but his smile gave himself away.
"Well it's not like you would do much damage, I've gotten nowhere with this homework anyways." Marinette closed her journal and sighed pushing her chair away from her desk while doing so.
Chat looked up at her and wondered what was wrong; she had a faraway look in her eyes. He waited for her to say something but she remained silent. He looked around the room as the silence grew. Chat looked at the walls around bed and closet, he remembered the times he would visit long ago. Back then the walls were covered in Adrien Agreste posters, but as time went on they were slowly removed and replaced with other such things like designs and ideas that were brewing within Marinette's mind. Chat didn't mind the absence of his civilian self from the walls, he was taken aback when he first saw them, thinking that the nice sweet Marinette was just a crazy fan girl in disguise. He questioned her about why she had them and he remembered her laugh, such a sincere heartfelt laugh. She explained that she admired him, and the business. Made sense seeing that design and fashion is what she wanted to pursue in the future, and having a famous designer's son who models the clothing wasn't something too farfetched for her to have on her bedroom walls. But he remembered something else she said, that she admired Adrien as well, she had gone on about how he has such a busy schedule and she had no idea how he could cope and manage it. She had laughed saying that now that she knows that Adrien in person it was a little creepy to have them up around her room but she was too busy with school and working on projects to go about removing all of them. He wasn't surprised to see one still hanging on her wall though. Looking at it he noticed she had scribbled on the picture, notes of the design and notes of the photographer's choice in the pose his civilian self was doing. She had written so much on the picture that you could actually hardly see who was posing in the picture in the first place, it almost made Chat laugh. 'Of course she would only be interested in the design, that's what she really is passionate about after all' Chat thought to himself. He looked back up at her from his chair and decided he would break the comfortable silence that fell around them.
"Cat got your tongue?" He smiled at his own stupid joke.
"Huh? Oh I was just thinking Chat its nothing really. What I want to know is why YOU are out and about this late." Marinette smiled back and motioned at the clock above his head. Chat turned around to see that the time was 11:52, almost midnight; he's been out for about 4 hours as Chat and had no plans on returning home anytime soon.
"Ah you know I had patrol tonight and I thought that the best thing to do afterwards was to visit my favorite fashion designer in Paris! I came by and saw the light on, and the door open so I just thought I'd pop in and see what was up." Chat stood up and put his hand on her desk and looked over at her school journal, casually flipping it open to see notes on World History. Of course their history class had a huge paper to write on the history of WWII and what they thought was the biggest turning point in the war. Chat was putting it off for as long as possible, and from the looks of it so was Marinette.
"Do you always feel like you can go through everything of mine without asking Chat? God its like you are the little brother I never asked for." Marinette playfully punched Chats arm and grabbed her journal from him effectively looking over the notes she made like it even mattered if he saw what she wrote or not.
"I'm more like the annoying pet you didn't ask for, besides you don't even know how old I am! How can you be sure I'm little?" Chat smiled and playfully yanked the Journal out of her loose grip. He looked over her notes and sighed, "Doesn't look like you got very far huh? Having trouble concentrating with such a handsome young feline about?" He looked over the book and gave her a devilish look and raised his eyebrows, effectively making her laugh.
"Oh come on now Chat you are a distraction within yourself and I don't think your looks have anything to do with that. I haven't started that stupid homework assignment just because I'm not to interested in history. Besides I have more important things to be thinking about, like how to keep pesky stray cats from coming in at night." She through shade back at the feline hero, watching his grin falter a bit before laughing.
"Oh I can't be that bad can I?" He mumbled almost to himself. Marinette wondered if he really did take her playful insults seriously sometimes.
"Of course not Chat, you actually keep me company when the rest of Paris is asleep so there is that." She put her hand on his shoulder; she really didn't want to hurt his feelings, he was her friend, and partner even if he didn't know that she was in fact Ladybug.
"Do I? I never pegged you as the lonely type, you always seem so..." Chat paused and searched for the right word, "Comfortable alone. I'm actually quite jealous of that quality." Chat smiled and walked over to her bed and flopped back down. Her comforter smelled like fresh laundry and Chat felt an overwhelming comfort attached with the smell.
"Why is that Chat? You never seem lonely yourself, honestly you seem to relish in being alone sometimes." Marinette bit her tongue, hopefully Chat wouldn't ask when she ever saw him alone, she had only ever seen him like that as Ladybug, never her civilian self. It wasn't like she could lie about a time seeing him, he would obviously know it was a lie, or would he? She felt a cold sweat start on her back, 'oh god I hope he didn't notice that blunder' she thought to herself.
"…What was that you said when I first came in? Something about moving on, no?" Chat asked seemingly ignoring her question. His expression was hard to read from across the room she could only read him from his voice, somewhat curious but a hint of something else as well. 'But what?' Marinette thought maybe he sounder somber? She couldn't tell for sure if she couldn't see his face.
"… Yeah actually that is spot on of what I said why?" Marinette asked, she didn't think of an excuse to tell Chat of why she said what she said, but maybe she could tell him the truth, but keep names out. 'Not all of the truth but well some of the truth I guess. Is it really lying if I just don't say who I'm talking about?' Before Marinette could answer herself back Chat started sitting back up to look at her.
"So what are you trying to move on from..?" Chat inquired further he looked a little sad, his eyes glued to the floor. Marinette didn't know what to say, should she tell the truth or not? She decided to walk over and sit down next to Chat on her bed, for some reason she felt like he was trying to distract himself with conversation, but from what? He said he was here because of patrol but she knew for a fact that his patrol ended at least 2 hours ago, so why was he still out and about? Had something happened to him as his civilian self and he just needed to stay out, or maybe he was just having a bad day… Either way she decided to try and cheer him up the best she could.
"Well," she sat down next to Chat with a slight plop of the bed. They were close enough to lean on each other, although they were not touching physically she could feel his body heat radiating off of him. She felt comfortable around Chat, a comfort only a very trusted friend could entice. "I... I was just thinking to myself you see I have this idea, an idea that I can't really let go. I really like this idea I mean really, really like it. Although I really want this idea to work out, I don't think it will. Actually it's almost like a fact that it won't work, and even though I know this I just haven't been able to let it go. I know that I should and I guess I have decided today that I should at least try to let it go and well move on." Marinette explain sloppily, she hoped he wouldn't ask too many questions about it.
"Oh I see… Why do you think it won't work? You obviously like the idea so much, what makes you so sure you should let it go?" Chat turned his head to Marinette who was biting her lip in anticipation of what she should say next. He waited patiently refusing to pry more into the topic.
"I guess it's just my gut feeling. I don't really have an answer to be honest Chat, the only thing I really know is that I'm too scared to see the results of trying." She answered honestly, and for a brief second she felt a weight being lifted off her shoulders. Saying it out loud really helped her to feel better.
"Don't you think you should try though? I mean you're scared sure but what if it did work out? Would you really want to risk the possibility of success because of having to be brave for like 20 seconds to make a decision to go for it?" Chat knew he had no room to talk he felt the same fear she felt, but about him confessing to Ladybug. He always wanted to make it clear that his flirting with Ladybug wasn't just for show, but genuine emotion. Of course she just thought it was for the fans, and media but he really did like her. He had so many opportunities to tell her how he felt but he backed out of all of them due to fear, the closest he ever gotten was when he got Akumatized by the Dark Cupid, ever since then he never got as close to telling her his true feelings as he did that day.
"You are right you know, but it's so much harder said than done Chat. I think maybe if I am able to move on it would be better. Although I do see where you are coming from, and I definitely will think more about it before deciding but for now I just wish it wouldn't get in the way of my homework." Marinette sighed, getting some of her feelings out felt good and exhausting all at the same time.
"Well you can do whatever you feel like you have to my purrincess, I trust your judgement, but if you really want it to stop bothering with your work though you might have to go at it had on instead. I hope you get it all figured out and that everything works out in your favor." Chat's normal playful demeanor came back suddenly and he stood up suddenly breaking eye contact. "I'm afraid however I should be leaving now. It really isn't gentleman like for me to keep a lady awake past curfew." Chat crossed his arms and yawned "Besides it seems like its time for a cat nap for myself." He flashed a smile back at Marinette.
"Chat… Are you okay? It seems like something is on your mind. If you wanted to talk about it I'm all ears you know." Marinette stood up and put her hand on Chats shoulder, he looked back at her with tired eyes.
"Thanks Marinette, that means a lot. I've kept you up long enough though, but I promise to come back and visit soon. Maybe I can complain to you then." He chuckled at the last part as he ran a hand through his hair. Marinette couldn't help but frown knowing that Chat was hiding something that was obviously bothering him. Chat noticed and decided to try and cheer her up
"Hey, I'm okay really its nothing a superhero can't handle, it's just a little civilian drama going on in my life nothing life threatening, Cats Honor!" He gave a thumbs up and a wink, hoping that his big fake plastered smile would be enough to trick her.
He really did want to tell her his drama in his own personal life but that was already hard enough without being able to give out exact details just to be able to keep his identity a secret. He honestly hated secrets, but he could see why he would need to keep who he was a secret. Still even that didn't make it any easier for him to not tell the people closest to him especially Ladybug.
'If she only let me show myself, maybe then, maybe she would see how deeply I trust her…' Chat thought, but it was pointless Ladybug had made herself clear a long time ago, their identities should be kept secret no matter what. That goes for both heroes and any friends and family they have. Regardless he wished he could share that secret with someone in his life.
"Alright alley cat I hope you don't stay out too long. You need sleep too you know. Be safe on your way home okay?" Marinette followed Chat towards the trapdoor on the ceiling. He climb the latter and paused before saying "Of course my puuurrincess, a prince would never let his puurincess worry." Marinette didn't answer but rolled her eyes, she knew Chat saw her reaction because of his lighthearted laugh that followed. He climbed the rest of the way out and gave a slight wave before vaulting off the roof top into the dark night.
"What a crazy cat… I hope he's okay." She shut the door and latched it making sure it was securely locked before climbing back down. She already knew Tikki would be waiting to start a conversation with her when she knew the cost was clear.
"Well that was eventful wasn't it?" Marinette laughed lightly when she saw Tikki sitting on her bed.
"You could say that. Chat sure had something on his mind I never seen him act like that I hope he is okay." Tikki was worried of course, something that Marinette felt was very out of character.
"Yeah he was a little off wasn't he? I'm sure he's just tired and needs a good night's rest. If anything I can talk to him tomorrow when we have joint patrol. Anything he can't tell Marinette he sure can tell Ladybug." Marinette was tired after the long day she had at school and the long night she had doing anything but her homework.
"I sure hope so. He seemed so sad like he really didn't want to leave. Do you think you should go after him? As Ladybug I mean." Tikki offered her while floating towards her, close up Marinette could tell the Kwami was really worried.
"Okay Tikki you are freaking me out. Why are you so worried? Chat said he was going home if I followed him right now I might break the one rule I made for us both. What if he goes home and I follow him and then I'll know who Chat Noir really is, and that's dangerous. You even tell me all the time that nobody should know who our real identity is." Marinette was already getting undressed and ready to sleep. It was already12:30, way past the time to get a decent night's sleep.
"You are right, sorry Marinette I'm just worried is all. Sometimes the stress from a double life can be hard to deal with I just was thinking maybe Chat Noir is starting to feel the effects, and who else would be better to talk about it then someone who is experiencing it as well?" Tikki sighed and laid back down on the pillow as Marinette got under the blankets.
"I know Tikki, and I will talk to him as both Ladybug and Marinette. Hopefully he is okay but I don't think staying up and trying to find Chat all night will help anyone at this point. He's tired, I'm tired, and you are tired, and I'm more than sure that Chats Kwami is tired as well. I think we all need some sleep, and then tomorrow we can figure it out in time for our patrol. Sound good?" Marinette asked before she shut off the lamp on her bedside table.
"Yeah I guess you are right Marinette. Sorry for freaking you out, I must really be more tired than I thought." Tikki yawned again and closed her eyes.
"It's okay Tikki. Let's get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow…" Marinette shut her eyes and slowly started to drift off to sleep.
